Starla's picture

Fear or question...

I am a step mom of two. Happily married to a loving and supportive husband. He lives for work, family, friends, me his wife, and all of the kids that are in our life. Before he came along in my life, I honestly never knew that there is such a thing as a happy marriage. We have only a few true friends in our life that have children and all are first marriages.
Okay my stepdaughter lives with her mom now due to past events. She is now 14 years old and one of the experts believes she is a sociopath. My husband and I believe she has other mental conditions and learning disorders. Though we have tried to get her help the professionals all have given different diagnosis and conflicting opinions. The most resent being asperger syndrome.
We had sought help with a psychologist who after seeing her for several months had us send her to the Rochester Mayo Clinic for an evaluation. In the end it really was no help. Each member of the family was asked to write a letter stating our experiences, concerns and so on about my stepdaughter. She was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and given a medication to reduce her anxiety levels but the meds allowed her to act on impulse. The weekend she was released from Mayo Clinic she tried to kill two people. I was one of them. At that time she was living with us.
Since the ordeal her dad darn near hates her. I know she does not want me dead but it is hard for my husband to understand her thought process on this. She has severe hygiene issues, is abusive toward animals, people of all ages and attempts to run her dad over with emotions (playing the victim) nonstop seemingly to get off the hook. When she knows she is in trouble she puts on a straight face with tears and all, but when she is out of hearing range she will sing and play as if she is four years old. We want to get further help for her, however, our main issue is my husband was laid off and we lost our health insurance.
Question or fear...might anyone have any ideas we can try before my husband cuts her out of his life or she does hurt another or possibly kill another person, herself, or an animal?


LRP75's picture

Can she get state insurance?

Can she get state insurance? if so, they will provide services for her.

I'm in Michigan. We have the Easter Seals who will provide mental health services and medications on a sliding scale fee. Also, because of her age she would qualify for state insurance (medicaid) - ESPECIALLY given her history.

Try to catch her behavior on video. Seriously. Then take her to a mental hospital, with that video, and have her committed. If she is a risk to the rest of us out there, she shouldn't be walking around.

I don't cater to crazy.

Starla's picture

Thank you for your reply, l

Thank you for your reply, l do appreciate your input. We have tried a few of those programs and researching some others. Luckily, my husband has located a job through the temp service. We have been declined on any state aid assistance due to income guidelines. Due to her residing with her birth mother, our hands are tied making it harder to receive any sort of help, financial or otherwise.

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All guys are pigs. It just depends on how you like your bacon.

Starla's picture

Wow pretty cool insight

Wow pretty cool insight especially for being such a short period of time since the posting..thank you to everyone! l must agree that my step daughter and any child for that matter will live up to their given label. Luckily, all opinions/labels from adults were given to us in private. I feel my step daughter is street smart and knows how to play anyone who comes into her life. My husband and i have tried to be open with her birth mother but it does stop there. This girl is failing school, can not write- spell, claims she does not care about school or hygiene. Her mom does not make her shower, do homework, get outside, allow any friends over, or use the bathroom. Sorry but lets not talk about the periods that have started. She tells me her feelings, that she is scared of her mom, and hates her dad for leaving her with her mother in the first place. l have been teaching my husband to not punish her when she is honest but her kind of honesty is cruel. This is where my husband wants to give up on her. She really does not try on anything but messing her pants or with peoples heads.

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All guys are pigs. It just depends on how you like your bacon.

henrythedad's picture

Periods??? I thought you

Periods??? I thought you were talking about a small child. Oh holy hell! How old is she?

*I used to be pissed-off - well, far beyond pissed-off if you really think about it - but now I am flat out enraged"

Starla's picture

She is now 14 years old.

She is now 14 years old.

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All guys are pigs. It just depends on how you like your bacon.

Starla's picture

We have received various

We have received various diagnosis concerning her behaviors. One issue we are facing, is that she does not display the same behavior patterns consistently so it makes it difficult to pinpoint one diagnosis. Yes my SD has had run ins with the police as we have had to file reports to protect ourselves and others.

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All guys are pigs. It just depends on how you like your bacon.

Starla's picture

Yes she has an IEP at school

Yes she has an IEP at school and has since second grade when she was diagnosed with ADD. Now the schools IEP is going on Aspergers syndrome. l feel there is more going on or was more going on, only she will not talk/trust any adults to find out. She was bullied in grade school but from what i heard, she has been a bully herself. She has physically attacked all younger kids when she is with us and her BM will not put her with other kids at all that we know of. We know her older brother is dominating towards women and other younger children too. From my SD, these behaviors have been going on since she was a toddler. My husband says its like shes been stuck in her terrible two's. l came into her life when she was nine years old.

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All guys are pigs. It just depends on how you like your bacon.