Step Talk

I would tell her thats fine.. but the packed boxes will then be hers and hers alone to UNPACK at the new house. Tell DH he is NOT to unpack them unless SD starts cleaning her room.

What a rude little sh*t. She needs a good swift kick in the pants by her father, of course I wouldnt suggest you do it.. as i know that I wouldnt lay a hand on my skids as they arent mine to deal with.

Or.. you can just throw out whatever is on the floor.. and no replacing it. Let her know that.. . What you want to keep, I would put away, because when you leave here on XYZDAY what is not put in its place will be in the trash and we will NOT be replacing them.

Sorry... You so dont need this crap in your condition.

The making her unpack thing (if it gets to that point!) is a very good idea.

I can't throw it all out, because its EVERYTHING she owns, including all her clothes. She lives with us full time, so we're talking every stitch of clothing.

But I need to not care. I have trouble with that.

I would say fine, but everything will go into a big bag, and then you will have the privelege of sorting thru it when we move.
or dont throw it all out but put it somewhere she can not see it or know where it is..
let her sweat...

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”

I had a pretty big mess to clean up one day I turned to her and flat out told her that "I" did not have a big mess She did. She made the mess around the house and I informed there then and there that I was not a maid and I did not get paid to help her dad out with her and her brother. I told her I helped her dad and I volunteered to take on many of the household tasks but that in no way made it "my " mess. The next day the kids got a chore list because I figured that I was doing WAY too much for her to have an attitude like that.

I am not sure why some of us here are afraid to stick up for ourselves in that way. There is no rule that says you can't tell the kids things like that. If my fiance had had a big problem with me telling her that, I would have been out the door. I am not a maid unless I am employed by a maid service. I certainly am not the only one living in the house and I will certainly not be responsible for cleaning up after 3 other perfectly capable people.

I had the same issue when I was younger. My sister and I would not clean out room for nothing. My mom threatened to clean it herself, except she was going to box it all up and keep it until she felt like giving it back (which was no less than 2 months). We did not believe her until one day we came home from school and everything but our clothes were in boxes and it was 3 months before we had anything.

Tell her that if she doesn't clean it up and when it comes time to pack for moving, it will all go into a bag and then to the trash. If she doesn't take care of her belongings, then she doesn't deserve to have them.

I would pick it all up and throw it away. If she is going to treat her things like that, then she doesn't need them. What a nightmare she is, I wouldn't put up with that crap. Don't you dare cater to her fits EVER (not saying you do).

I would start by throwing one thing away every day. Start with her favorite things. What a brat!

have you tried taking her door off too? They hate that, I have not had to do it yet but have seen it work and am keeping it in reserve.

Also tell her she will have nothing BUT her bed, plain sheets and pillow at new place unless she shows respect for what she has now,

my dad threw all my things in large garbage bag one day, that was that.

you should not be the one to deal with this , have dear dad do it, he needs to stand strong and you need to beas less stressed as possible right now.

Need2vent has a point there about removing the door. A friend of mine did that with her step daughter a few yrs back....her hubby took off the door at SM request and would not put it back on for 3 mths. They never again had an issue with SD and her destroying things in her room.

I wouldn't say anything to her...she just has a snippy comeback for everything you say which further aggravates you (rightfully so). I would either ignore it and let her father deal with her, or take ACTION. My son knew he'd be asked one time to do something. I wouldn't waste my breath/time arguing with him. One time, and the trash bag would come out (again, nothing said).

Sounds like a big time stand off. I wouldn't have it. This child needs to know she is just a little girl scout messing with the Army.

I would give her one warning. Then tell BF and SD I am going to clean the room myself by (give them a time). I would say nothing more and go in and clean the room yourself. Throw out EVERYTHING on the floor or whatever you feel is out of place.

You see I feel if it is my home this child needs to know you aren't playing. She may hate you for it but if you are anything like I am I dont care if they hate me they have to listen to me in my own home period. I would also take off the door to her bedroom. I am sorry sometimes you have to go to the extremes to get the kids attention. I did the very same thing. If a room has junk on the floor and I ask over and over for them to clean it up. I say nothing more I will clean it myself. The kids lost quite a bit but you know what they keep their room clean now.

"Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt"

I would clean it and pack it. Put it in the attic so you can elimate one more problem.

If you have to clean her room, only leave the bare essentials that she needs.
SK's here do not take care of any of their things...their BM never taught them to do ...So, we tell them that everything (toys, books, pens, clothes) they have is actually OURS (since we paid for it) and that we only let them use whatever it is.
Over the summer...after many threats by myself and DH...I spent 6 HOURS cleaning their playroom. I pitched a LOT but also put a lot in yard sale boxes. Boy did they complain when they got here..."there's hardly anything left"...their Dad told them "TOUGH" we've been threatening for too long. Get this....they actually had the guts to ask if they got the money from the things in the yard sale box....
NO WAY...that's my payment for the 6 hours I spent cleaning up their pig sty
Follow through...it'll make a BIG impression

"I prefer my life STRESS FREE...When you're STRESSIN'...You're STRESSIN' me"

We have done all of the above at different times and it has worked. We don't replace anything that gets thrown out or broken. If SD needs it she buys it herself now. This sounds silly but SD had a problem with leaving her socks at everybody elses house when she went for sleep overs. Back in July I bought her 12 pairs of socks and and as of last month she had 3 pairs left. So we made her buy her own socks. Time to learn the value of some of the stuff she chooses to disregaurd.

"Life's tough, but it's tougher if your stupid"