Step Talk

I think that they would love a letter from you.. Telling them that you miss them and think of them often. That you hope they are doing well, and that you cant wait to see them.

I dont think they will find you patronizing.

Also, remember when you were a kid??? I LOVED getting something in the mail. I would feel.. important.. of course this normally only happened around my bday!

Write from the heart and you will have no problems.

Take care of yourself.. and Thank you!

Can you mail them pics of where you are, or a map - i mean any little boy would think it was cool to get a letter like that from far away. Maybe include a small trinket from that part of the world (You are deployed, right?) Tell them you miss them and be specific like, when we ___ I enjoyed it, ask about their life and send them stationary filled out and tickers so they might be able to write back. Remember, if you get no response, its probably because of the BM. If you could, mail it to a mutual friend that will make sure they boys ever see it.

I agree with saneone up there.. make sure to send the stuff to a mutual friend just so you know they will get it. Cards are also good to. I know there isnt too much of a selection over there.. at least there wasnt where my husband was at.. but just write about the fact that you miss them and that you think of them all the time, and that you cant wait to see them again. Im really sorry that you are having to go through this.. If I was a BM and my ex husbands wife loved my kids as much as you do I would be so happy.. but she sounds resentful because it sounds like you are a better mom to them and she knows it.

"Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful."
-Joshua J. Marine

I am jealous that you love your skids. A good relationship with them makes the world right. If you could just send me your recipe that would be great. OR POTION

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

What harm could it possibly cause!?! SaneOne has such a good idea with the map. I know my boys would think that was cool. I would send one of those cards that say "thinking of you across the miles"...and make it short and sweet.

If their BM throws it away then try again through the mutual friend that way you aren't assuming that she's gonna do it. Give her a chance first. Then at least you have a reason not an assumption. She'll be pissed off no matter what so at least you can have the right reasons.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Hi Cactus,

I know when I left for Boot, and My Sister and cousin were a little older and younger than Your boys, just the fact tat they GOT a letter from Me was "A COOL THING" I'v never been a real big one for letters, I'd rather pay a phone bill, but even just a few lines that said Hi, How's school, a freind or two that I knew they hung with a lot, etc. and I Love and Miss You,with maybe a little sketch or something I did, went a long way, and Made Me Feel Better, like I wasn't quite so cut off from them. If You are afraid BM will trash them, You could try sending them to Your DH, and have Him put them in with His Letters...or send them RRR, it only costs about 50 cents, if I remember, and then even if She does, You can Prove That You sent them stuff. Take Care Of Yourself, and know that even if they don't get the letters, They DO LOVE YOU, and a lot of people, here Care, too.

Steve

Kids are the Best and Worst Things We can do to Ourselves. When We have nothing else worth living for, We'll go on, for Them, but Oh How We Miss Our Freedom...LOL

I did not write letters for my kids at Christmas in their cards. I was exhausted, we didn't have them Christmas morning anyway, the two older kids were really aggravating me and I really didn't know what I would be able to write sincerely. I just didn't get around to it.

Wouldn't you know my sons, to whom I have written aforementioned letters every birthday and Christmas...

said...

"where's our cards? Didn't you write us one?"
I do think your kids will care tremendously.

I don't know that they will get the letters though since you are both deployed. BUT...why not write them and save them til you return. OR is there another family member you trust to make sure they get them?

As for what to write, I always pick out something meaningful they did for me that year, something we did together that we enjoyed, how much they're growing up...etc. I tell them what I'm proud of and thank them for what they do to help me.

Well...those last two were why I had a little trouble with the older two this Christmas! Then SD's b-day falls the week after Christmas, so the past two years have been difficult letters to her since the holidays are always when she chooses to be most self absorbed.

So...not sure if that helps or not.
Good to hear from you!

Peace, love, and red wine

To everyone, I just put the letters in the post today. Maps included Both of them are going through a "army guy" phase I guess so I sent them post cards of this darling place. I wasn't negative or anything. Then I sent the letters seperate. I guess we will see if they get them.
Then if this doesn't get to them, I will use my mother in law to have them delivered. She is pretty good about that. She can't stand the ex I guess. But she is very diplomatic so I can never tell.
Being here, I am slowly learning not to trust anyone. I mean, the most innocent people have alterior motives you know? Even children. It is so sad. I don't want to bring that home with me.
I am afraid of becoming inhumane. So while I was writing the letters I felt this warm feeling and realized writing to the boys feels good. I need to do it even if they don't get the letters because it reminds me I am not a monster or a killer or a robot or a government issue drone.
Thanks again everyone for your ideas. It was awesome.

"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves." ~ Abraham Lincoln