What does a BM need to hear???

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What does a BM need to hear???

Submitted by kay on Sat, 01/12/2008 - 3:11pm.

Youngest SS, 12 is very screwed up. BM admits that she tries but can't control him. We have offered time and time again to send him back to us. SHe often uses us as a threat to him if he doesn't shape up. What does she need to hear from us in order to send him back here. We have tried everything, this kid needs a change in enviornment to at least have a chance. Any advice from BM's, what would you need to hear or be reassured of to let your son go to live with their dad????

» kay's blog | 218 reads

There is No Magic Phrase, or I'd have had My Son, long ago...

Submitted by CplStv on Sat, 01/12/2008 - 8:40pm.

The best Hope You have is that She will get so Frustrated that She will Do It Voluntarily, or depending on Your State's Laws, that The Kid will make the choice when He is "Old Enough To Choose, For Himself"...

Until Then, just do whatever You can for and with Him, when You have Him...If Where You are, is anything Like NY, It's nearly Impossible for a Father To Get Custody, No Matter What the Kid wants, or is ACTUALLY BEST FOR THEM. Good Luck !

Steve

Kids are the Best and Worst Things We can do to Ourselves. When We have nothing else worth living for, We'll go on, for Them, but Oh How We Miss Our Freedom...LOL

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Thanks Steve, Same here in

Submitted by kay on Sat, 01/12/2008 - 9:11pm.

Thanks Steve, Same here in Illinois. The court is very mom centered. I agree that little ones do need their mom, but they also need their dad just as much. It is a shame that the courts can say a % of the year is enough time to see your dad. I find that I become a fathers rights activist more and more each day. Best regards!

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What's SS's feelings on the matter?

Submitted by 2ndclasscitizen on Fri, 03/28/2008 - 6:41pm.

We were in the same situation as you....3 times. BM couldn't control SS...used us as a "threat" if he didn't behave...everytime we got things going, BM backed out....til this last time. BM gave SS a HUGE say about him changing primary households. Perhaps SS can influence BM's decision to let things happen and allow SS to come live with you.
Of course, that doesn't mean BM won't try and change SS's mind (in our case, BM continually tried to change SS's mind until the day he moved in here)....it will depend on your SS.

"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN" Sad