Step Talk

Try bringing your son’s toys over with you, that way he has something to do. You and your BF will have to be able to resolve the issue if your relationship is going to progress (i.e. moving in together or marriage). Learning to share is something that he should have learned long before 12 yrs of age! If he doesn’t know how it is because it was not a value that he was taught by mom and dad. You will have to find a way to show your BF that this it is an issue of equity and concern for your sons feelings as well as a learning experience for his son. Let us know how it goes, GOOD LUCK!

I bet that the 12 year old shares with his friends. I think that it may be more of an issue with your son just because he is his dad's girlfriend's son. Maybe he feels threatened in some way. Or maybe he is worried that a 6 year old will break his stuff. I think that your boyfriend just needs to sit down and have a long father, son talk with him to see what is going on.

That's just my opinion. Hope it helps.

Dawn

Bring your son's toys over to your BF house. If your BF's son does not want to share w/your son, tell your son don't share his things w/him no more until he learns to share w/him too. Your BF sounds like he doesn't care about your feelings toward this situation. Find another if I were you. Sorry that's just my opinion. If your BF doesn't see the problem w/this then I don't know what else might come your way and you'll end up being alone to deal with it w/out your BF since he can't see the idea of "sharing equally."

I understand your frustration on sharing, but I see things from a different perspective. My sons are teenagers and my SS is 7 years old. My kids do not share their PS2's or anything else with the 7 year old mainly because the 7 year old fails to show respect for their stuff. Younger kids are usually more playful and have a tendency at times to not listen to the older children (since they are not in a parental role) when asked to leave something alone. This situation just escalates and resentment builds. I'm not defending your BF's son, but I can understand what he might be going through a little since my experience is from the other side. You should just continue taking your own child's toys over and maybe as time goes on, they can form a relationship on their own accord instead of a forced formation.

Again, my advice is immature, but this is what I think you should do.
Give the brat a taste of his own medicine. When he comes over and expects to be able to play with your son's toys, whether your son says it's ok or not YOU say it is NOT ok.
Yea, the dad will react badly but so what? He obviously is oblivious to how YOUR son feels when put in a similiar situation.
Overall, from your post I don't think your boyfriend is all that considerate anyways. If her doesn't treat your child fairly now, what's to say he will later?

We had sharing issues with my kids and a cousin who would come over...an only child. Everything he owned 'was his special toy' that he didn't have to share. Every toy my kids picked up (whether theirs or his)...he felt entitled to and would grab out of their hands. His mother seemed to back him up (similar to how you discribe ss's Dad) I felt that if she had put half as much effort into trying to teach HER kid to share as she did encouraging MY kid(s) to give up their stuff to him....there would be no problem.

So out of frustration, I started telling my kids to stand up for themselves......

No PS2 for me..means...no game cube for you.... IT is a two-way street!!! If you want me to work with you....you also have to work with me....

AND if he doesn't want to share.....HE doesn't get to play it in front of him. That's not fair.

After years of telling my kids you don't hit, etc.... and this cousin hitting, biting, twisting fingers, pushing them down, taking their stuff...etc. and the mother not doing anything.I had enough!! I showed my daughter how to make a fist and told her she had the right to defend herself against any attack!!
Told her:
1) warn him not to ever hit you again.
2) tell him that if he does hit you..you will hit him back
3) give him one freebee..warn him again.
4) if he does it again...then haul off and clock him....

After years of this kid bullying her.....she popped him right between the eyes. He was devastated!!! Shocked more than anything. He always dished it out!!!!

He never hit her again!!!!!!!

....so a little taste of thier own medicine..isn't always a bad thing!

Now that I think of it...I babysat an 11 yr old boy for awhile who did the same thing to my kids..they were 4 & 2..much younger. But he would bring something really cool haul it out in front of them..he would actually go out of his way to wave in thier face..then not let them touch it....it was like he was intentionally teasing them. SO of course ..they wanted it..fussed over it..'he won't share' etc... If I distracted them and they stopped paying attention to him & his toy...got busy with thier own stuff..he would deliberately come to where they were and wave it in front of them...stirring the pot again.

I also remember my brother 13ish teasing our little brother 2ish the same way.....

I wonder....Could it be and age/stage thing?
From time to time..I made sure my kids had something really cool...that he wanted!! (booger looking silly putty, was a big hit) Sudenly HE had no problems sharing HIS stuff for a chance to 'trade' for a little while....

I have a 13 yr old stepson who constantly bullies by 7 yr old daughter. It has gotten to the stage where I cannot leave them alone with a minder during the holidays because he hurts her and makes her feel uncomfortable in her own home.
His father speaks to him, but it never stops - in fact at the beginning of the year he tried to suffocate her.
Unfortunately there are complications in his other home and he is at a confusing age, but that does not excuse physical violence in my opinion.
I am at a loss at how to put an end to this!

only backwards at our house. Growing up with three daughters all very close in age I began simply buying 3 of everything and writing their initials on everything they owned. They simply could not fight over something that wasn't THEIRS. They all had their own and if they lost theirs...oh well. Moving in with my fiance they all want to play with my daughters toys and they don't want to share, after all its been theirs all along and they rarely have had to share. My fault, I know! I began making them share and anything they fight over I take away and it becomes MINE. Anything I have to take away over and over again I simply toss in the garbage.