This is a complicated story..... Ok so my stepson has lived with his father since he was about 9. I married my husband when he (step son) was 13 (now 16). Since then we have been thru it all with him from drugs to sex. He plays football and got caught with drugs at school and was unable to play sports for a year in that county so we moved so he could still play. Now I will say my husband is very strict on him. But before we were married he got caught with drugs, having sex, he even stole some things from my husband to buy drugs. Basically its continuing. Well he's on probabtion from the drug incident. Well he went to visit his mother and he told her how his dad wont let him do anything, he beats him and we are alcoholics (all untrue... except my husband really won't let him do anything until his probation is over. Now since my husband has put his foot down he has been on the right track). she refused to send him back. Now he has to take night classes, summer school as well as regular school and take some tests.... in order to stay on track. Not to sound like an evil step parent but he can't do that. He is not good at school and has severe adhd in which he takes meds for but his mother refuses to put him on it. He is probably going to be disqualified from sports. If he fails he won't graduate until he's 20 (if he does). All she said was that she graduated when she was 19.... um no she got her GED at 19 and is pushing 40 and still a waitress (not that anything is wrong with that). He wanted to live with her b/c of the freedoms he will have with her no one is really there a lot to watch him and she lets him do whatever he wants (which was why she wanted him to live with my husband in the first place. My husband said he can come finish 10th grade here and he will send him back for 11th.... but she would rather risk his future. Now i honestly this has nothing to do with him.... but money. my husband and her started bickering when my husband told her that she could not file for him with taxes this year (yes thats right even tho he lived with us she filed every year but last year and we still gave her half of what we got for him) she does not pay child support and we never asked or tried to get any money from her. She sent him a text basically blaming me.... saying he changed since he got with me and not for the best and he's meaner (i guess she doesn't relize that my stepson is older now and going thru the teen years). As far as the probation my husband is going to court to try to get it all finished up (he still has 3 months left but the p.o is willing to work with us). There is no custody anywhere.... i told my husband to use the tax money last year to make a custody agreement but he would rather pay her off. I tried to convince him to let her file for him.... if 1000 bucks is gonna keep him straight i don't mind her having it..... just let him have his future. No one on her side of the family has graduated high school.... gone to college or anything other than get pregnat (or someone pregnant)and work little mediocre jobs. That whole side is like the kid from malibu's most wanted (minus the money). She will not talk to my husband and neither will my stepson. My husband says he doesn't care.... his son will thank him when he's older, BUT I know my husband is hurt and wants that relationship. My stepson will not call/talk anyone from this side... grandparents or anyone.