Step Talk

SD has been begging to take out her new earrings asap. She kept telling me it was six weeks already. They are supposed to be in 6-8 weeks, when I took her to get them pierced I told her they were staying in the maximum 8 weeks for best healing and she agreed. Last night we got a call from SD who was at her soccer game. She has been playing the last five weeks with newly pierced ears, and putting band-aids on them. All the refs have been ok with this til last night when one said take them out or sit out the game. BM was not at the game yet so SD called us. She kept claiming it was 6 weeks already and to please let her take them out. I said no b/c a dirty indoor soccer arena didn't quite meet the requirements for first earring removal (wash hands, wash earrings, wash out holes, wash everything throughly before putting them back in.)

SD said, "But then I can't play!" I said, "Refs rules not mine."
So...

SD puts on the coaches wife who brought SD to the game (b/c bm didn't want to drive her over here where she forgot her soccer gear AGAIN) so BM asked her coach to do it. I won't even go into how peeved my H was about BM dumping SD off on someone else b/c she didn't want to come here.

So the coaches wife tells me, "It's up to you of course, but we have neosporin to put on them and I'll hold them for her and it's up to you of course...."

We have a cyclical conversation til I finally say, "Honestly I don't think it's even been the minimal 6 weeks- I would have to look at the calendar. But even so, I just don't think an athletic arena is the best place to take them out."

Coaches mom, "Well, ok....I guess she'll have to sit it out then." In a dejected voice.

(Don't get me started on other parents insinuating that I'm too strict, or trying to convince me to change my mind. It drives me NUTS that other parents are so soft on their kids. They don't want them to experience any hardship, no matter how slight.)

So...we hang up and I check the calendar, call coaches wife right back and say, "I just checked and it's only been 5 weeks." I did this so they wouldn't hit up BM (who would likely brag about being a nurse and knowing better than us- another post itself.)

This morning SD comes back for the day (b/c BM considers us her handy babysitter so she has been dropping her off any of her days over Christmas break- Yet ANOTHER post!) SD tells H that her mom showed up and took out her earrings so she could play. BM saves the day from Wicked SM and Evil Dad.

So...H and I decide that SD will be sitting out the next game for putting us on the spot by having the coach's wife try and convince us, AND for then going to her mom to over ride our decision, especially since one reason we have custody is b/c BM makes bad decisions (backed up by the psychologist and GAL in the court documents.) Also, if her ears get infected, we will make her take out the earrings and will not take her to re-pierce. The whole reason I waited this long was I didn't think she would be patient enough to follow through on taking care of them properly. Why must she prove me right all the time????

Of course we are the mean parents, the ones who NEVER let her do anything she wants, the ones who ALWAYS punish her unjustly.)

Honestly, I think this child is not going to make it into adulthood with common sense, patience, compassion...it just has me so worn down. Sometimes I just want to tell SD to go live in Disney World. Grow up with high expectations and no ethic to work toward them. Is it really better she stay here with us? Who have to correct her behavior non-stop? Maybe she needs to be out there with her crazy PD BM and learn bad consequences the hard way.

Oh- went to SD's psychologist this week and MADE SD come. That's another post that deserves posting later in the week!