Last night my DH received a phone call from his 13 year old daughter stating she wanted to come live with us. (We live in a different state) She explained that all household chores are being done by her (i.e.- cooking, cleaning, washing clothes for her, her younger sister and their mother)She also states that they rarely eat dinner because the BM is always asleep during the day (she is unemployed) and that she can hardly sleep at night because BM is awake all night with her live in boyfriend (who, lo and behold is also unemployed) My other SD who is 10, holds the BM in the highest regard. (Basically, I just think she has been brainwashed) The BM has already had CPS called on her twice, and once while they were there, they saw a marijuana pipe on her coffee table, in which she was served a warrant. The 13 y/o SD had missed 85 days of school last year, and at the time the BM had a different live in boyfriend with several outstanding warrants. He vandalized their house, shot through windows and stole money. (He was later taken to jail) My question is, if we went to go to court to take the 13 y/o, wouldn't we have to take the 10 y/o as well even though she doesnt want to leave her BM? Has anyone went through this before? Would the judge see this as an unfit living environment for both children?
that's difficult
We have eow with one SD (12) and every other week with her older sister (15). Same scenario, older daughter is sick of her lazy mother's crap, younger daughter thinks her mother walks on water and her mother treats her like a 2 year old. It's difficult to split up the siblings. We ended up settling out of court for every other week with the older daughter.
Same Question but is Texas Different?
Sorry, I can't help you because I kind of have the same question. Each state has different laws but I can't find anything very solid on the internet for Texas. What if one child (who is at the age where he can say he wants to live with whichever parent) wants to go and the other (who isn't at the age yet) wants to stay? If one kid wants to go, do both of them have to?
Dispy, have you looked up the laws for your state? In California, it says each child is allowed to make their own decision at the legal age. I do not have the website for that. I got that information from my brother who works for family law in California.
"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves." ~ Abraham Lincoln
My view.
Each state has different laws. We have talked to our lawyers about one SD moving in with us. If the courts see that the mother is an unfit parent and there is proof of drug possession at her residency the judge will remove that child out of her house and she will lose full custody. If there is no proof....the child does have the right to choose as long as she is considered mature. Mature in Nebraska is 14 years old. Most judges will not separate sisters but it depends on how strongly the child objects to living with the other parent. Good luck.
How come the oldest gets it?
Isn't that strange, same thing here. Oldest moved in with us when she turned 16, the younger one, now 15 thinks mom walks on water. Oldest one realized she was being raised in a negative environment and was sick of hearing horrible things about her father and I. She knew it wasn't true, asked her mom to stop and gave up and moved out. Mom didn't talk to her for months after and they finally 2 yrs later talk and visit regularly, I've always encouraged her to keep a relationship with mom. The younger one tho, thinks mom is right about everything all the time and always has something negative to say. We try to ignore it and just keep things positive. If she ever needs to vent we let her but would never encourage her to say something bad aboiut mom. Does anyone know why it's the oldest that gets it and the youngest following moms footsteps??
the oldest remembers, but so does our youngest!
ME TOO! older SS-14 wants out in a bad way, younger SD-11 acts terrified of BF & I. Older child remembers the way things were when BF & BM where together, for younger, BM paints a pretty picture. It's called Parental Alienation Syndrome. I found out about it on Father's Rights web page. BM being investigated by CPS, AGAIN (5th time we know of) and still can't get either kid out. SD is in a bad place though if left behind and SS comes to us. She has always been responsible for covering up BM's abuse, even being molested by BM'S X LIBF. SD confided in me that if she told BM would let X BF kill her! Now she's clammed up, won't repeat a word to any one because she trusted I would get her out, and I failed. I feel like I deserve her rage, i promised if we told the truth she would be taken out, and I was wrong. Easy for every one to believe what she says now, SPs are evil, so are men including BF. SS even returned to BM after she kicked him out last week into the snow. LS & ST called BF to come get him. CPS idiot called back, said SS needs BM's PERMISSION to go with him. I thought that if you throw something out, you had no more legal claim over it. BF and I have CC-8, she cries at night for sibs., can't focus in school either. We haven't slept right or ate much in weeks. Is there any real hope for any of us?
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