Colorado Girl's picture

BM flipped out again....bear with me it's a long one...

over nothing. She called DH on Friday at 3:00pm while he was sitting in the parking lot at school to pick the girls up. She wanted to keep one of the girls Friday night for some one on one mommy time. DH said that he's been waiting all week and we had plans that night so it just wouldn't work out. She FREAKED. "You NEVER let me take the girls and I ALWAYS let you have them when you want them." (Never and Always are her two favorite words) He was like hey, you've had them all week and you're getting them next weekend (she's watching them for us on Friday for our X-mas party and her X-mas party is on Saturday so we're only getting them Sunday night)blah, blah, blah.....

So then she demands his lawyer's phone number. So he gives it to her. When the lawyer calls DH back the first thing she says is "Your ex-wife is a whack job" Dh was like "you have no idea".

Now let me back track a little first so you can understand why she called the lawyer. DH started VOLUNTARILY getting child support taken out of his check and mailed to the central payment processing center through our state who in turn disburses the check to her. That way when her check doesn't arrive in the mail, she calls them instead of us getting the phone call "WHERE'S MY CHECK!?!?!?!" I set it all up for them. It's worked fabulously for us, she was upset at first but I think she eventually got over it. ANYWAYS payroll is processed on Monday and the support check is mailed out that same day even though DH doesn't get paid till Friday - so she usually gets it by Thursday or Friday. So now it's set in her mind that it's "due" on Friday even though the support order simply says "weekly". I've actually on MANY occasions pointed this fact out to her over the years. Anywho, DH and I went on vacation a few weeks back and he didn't get a paycheck the following week being that he didn't work the week before. So since no paycheck, I sent a personal check to the central payment processing center on Wednesday - so she got it TWO whole days later. I even left her a courtesy message on her phone telling her that DH didn't get a paycheck that week and proceeded to explain that I knew she was used to getting it on Friday but that I was sending a personal check to the processing center that day so it would be a couple days later thatn what she was "used to" and to call DH if she had any questions or concerns. That was three weeks ago.

So when she calls the lawyer she misconstrued the whole thing into that DH needs to pay his own child support not his wife. Our lawyer asked her, and I quote, "Are you kidding me? You're complaining because your ex found a wife who is willing to pay his child support!?! What do you care where the money comes from? Honey, I don't think it is as bad as you think it is?"
BM then tells her that CS is due on Friday and it is obvious after seeing her financial statement that she NEEDS that check by Friday, every Friday. Once again our lawyer comes back with, "You can't be serious. Two days you're complaining about, I have clients two years in arrears. What do you want me to do? Call my client and reprimand him? " BM then proceeds to explain that for her to live within her means, she HAS to have that check BY Friday. Our lawyer's response was "Maybe you need to lower your means then...."

BM hung up on her.

Well you can imagine the phone call to DH after that. Ugh. Come to find out though, the girls told us that BM and her boyfriend broke up AGAIN and that's why she is so cuckoo for coco puffs right now.

Needless to say our lawyer right now is my favorite person. Smiling

ColorMeGone's picture

Gawd.

I just went through the exact same thing last month. What is it with these people?! In our state, late isn't really late unless you are at least thirty days past due and the past due amount is at least one full CS payment. But in her mind, "late" is whenever she needs the money.

~ Anne ~

"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook

lcooper's picture

Ditto on mine...

She claims that DH has a history of late CS, he has never been more than 2 days late in 7 years. OUr state also has the 30 days late rule, can't wait for her to bring this up in court, along with all of her other imagined injustices. We don't even correct her anymore, just let them bury themselves.

JustAnotherSM's picture

The ONLY thing we love about the system...

CS gets taken out of paycheck, and DCS pays BM... whip our hands, and don't have to bat an eye. Any and every excuse made about it... ain't our problem...

Eye-wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

HA IDO's picture

In My State

Just like Anne said it is 30 days then it is late. BM is supposed to pay the CS every month by the first according to the CO. But do you know what she does. She sends the check 2 or 3 weeks afterwards but dates the checks for the 1st. We keep all of the envelopes to show the dates. DH is going to start getting the CS put through CSE now so we dont' have to deal with her if she is late. What these BM's getting CS need to do is to budget their bills WITHOUT CS included. That way no bills are behind if the check for some reason doesn't come. We don't count on this money because one day she may decided to disappear and then what.

"Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt" Eye-wink

JustAnotherSM's picture

But Cruella...

That would imply that they don't need it- and a brain! LMAO!!! So, true though, huh?

Eye-wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

HA IDO's picture

Brain

True you need to have a brain and being only 2 days late and paying a lawyer to make a call is flat out STUPID!!! Colorado Girl that BM is so broke she is screaming for her check yet she has the money to pay an Attorney??? Go figure.

I know she is doing it just to be spitfull and to somehow hurt DH. Oh we need the money because the daycare alone KILLS us.

"Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt" Eye-wink

Colorado Girl's picture

BM doesn't have an attorney...

She called DH's lawyer. So it costs me 50 bucks everytime BM calls our lawyer. Our lawyer HAS to take her call/call her back because there is a court case going on and since BM isn't represented by a lawyer, it's just like if an attorney were calling. She's just running out of people to bitch at. I quit taking her phone calls completely and DH always lets her calls go to voicemail and if she doesn't leave a message, he won't call her back. Her boyfriend had just dumped her and she just didn't know who else to call....

BM is still stupid though....and crazy.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Sita Tara's picture

I would file something....

To make her pay for consulting your attorney. I mean can't they do that? I can't believe that she can call your attorney any time she pleases and then YOU get the bill. That's just nuts. She could potentially abuse that and bleed you dry.

Altough I do know any time we called/visited the GAL both BM and DH got a fifty/fifty bill. But we only spoke/met with her a few extra times so it was apparent we weren't abusing it. Plus WE had to pay each time too. This whole set up sounds fishy to me.

Peace, love, and red wine

Colorado Girl's picture

Our lawyer is actually pretty good....

and takes forever to call her back. In the past 4 months she's only called her back twice and has been so unbelievably blunt that I think BM will eventually give up trying to call for invalid reasons. I might start bitching if it gets out of hand but I have enough to worry about than her dumbass calling our lawyer to bitch about a cs payment that wasn't even late. I figure if she calls our lawyer screaming at her, our lawyer will dislike her that much more and fight that much harder for us.....and maybe even relay to the judge what a friggin' sycho she is.

BM is going to cost me money no matter what. Whether it be a lawyer or the thousands of dollars it will cost me in therapy bills to straighten out the damage she's inflicted upon the girls. Eye-wink

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

HA IDO's picture

Can you tell your Lawyer

Not to take calls from BM that you won't pay for that? Only charge you when YOU or DH calls. I think you need to make that point clear to your Attorney. I know what you mean about BM. We are in the same boat.

"Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt" Eye-wink

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.

More information about formatting options

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
Image CAPTCHA
Copy the characters (respecting upper/lower case) from the image.