Step Talk

Not yet, but there is another thread somewhere that addresses this.

You and your DH can remind her of this next time she wants DH to get the child and he is unavailable and you are free to do it.

Every time BM got mad at me before they went to mediation the first time she would take me off the list at school. It got really embarassing, because the school had to get involved so often. It is work for them to take off, put on, take off... ect. So in the mediation paper work DH had it added that the emergancy lists are not to be changed without the concent of BOTH parents. It worked wonders. She tried it a few months ago, but the school has a copy of the mediation paperwork, and they refused to remove me without DH's signature. HAHAHA!

Daddys Gurl

CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

I was really embarrased but the school said "Dont worry we see this all the time" and "She is using the kids to get to you"

Here in FL Both Parents have rights to pick up the kids on their visitation days BUT since I am not married I am only allowed to p/u from school and daycare. She has to say its ok for me to P/U at her house though

I wish I could sell her for what she thinks she is worth,
I'd be a millionare twice.

Yes she does have the power to take you off the list. But you have the power to do what she feels a SM should do and that is absolutely nothing. When SD is there don't pick her up or take her to school. Make her or DH do.it I know it may sound mean, but don't let anybody use you or hurt your feelings. Because i know that that situation has hurt your feelings. BB kill me with this i won't you to deal with the kids when its convenient for me otherwise don't associate with my kids. Whatever.

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

I contacted our attorney who stated they have shared parental responsibility. I went to the school to get the information needed so that our attorney could contact them. As I was there an officer was there, he overheard the situation, so he walked over to the conversation. He asked me if I had the divorce papers, and of course I did (sad we kept a copy in each vehicle just for this purpose) well he read the papers and he to said the father has just as much say in who can pick the child up as the mother, that the primary residence only means that the child lives at an address and in our papers does not mean that she has more say (control).

So he and the Vice-Principle contacted the School Board, well come to find out no one has ever pushed the envelope on this situation and the School Boards legal stand on it is that the “Primary Residential Parent” has all rights to do this. The officer argued with them and stated that no court would agree with this policy. But it is their policy, and come to find out since BM did not add the father that he also can not pick up the child, only who she designated so he has now been removed.

After all this conversation, what is sad is that the child is hurt by all of this. And the school feels bad, but they have to keep policy. We completely understand that, it’s that we have a bitter ex who manipulates her rights. And he has to prove his rights through court.

We have a meeting with our attorney who states we have to get a modification to the divorce and put specific language to his rights. It’s just very sad that he has to prove he has rights, and that she can get away with taking them without proof.

Hopefully you are in that school district

Sounds like our BB! she puts her mother's name as alternate contact and leaves BF off of the school records totally. We have the same divorce papers as you. joint legal custody, primary residence at BB and secondary at ours