Step Talk

I guess I feel a little confused about your suggestion. Do you mean we shouldn't refer to a previous responding post at all? There are times when I'll agree with someone who says something before me and I'll say that, or I'll think that what someone says needs to be fleshed out a little more and I'll expand on an idea a little. Are you just saying that we shouldn't get distracted by another poster and allow the post to get hijacked? That is a good point but one that plagues most message boards, IMO.

It's just extremely hard to do so. Especially when someone starts "bashing" someone I consider a friend. I have a horrible habit of sticking up for friends. Has gotten me in plenty of trouble plenty of times. However, Angel, I think you do have a valid point though. If one responds to a negative post, it just opens the doors up for a sh*t fight and I think no one wants that here.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

I like it when we stick up for each other. When an anon jumps on board, they are taking a position and trying to knock someone down. I got bashed once when I thought I was being a pretty open and responsive person, seeking advice. I was pissed off to say the least but when I got the added support, I felt even more aligned and included in this group. I didn't quite follow what Angel thought but this is a place to vent and if we were all in one room, the story would move from one to another and change subjects pretty quickly. That is how we are. So a nice little stream of consciousness from post to post, to me allows everyone to share and learn from each other by including their similar experiences and thus receiving the same support. It's a group thing.

I think venting is great and I think I didn't explain myself.

It isn't just referring to another post (sometimes that is extremely helpful) that I find difficult to deal with, but when someone infers that that person's advice or perspective is COMPLETELY FULL OF .... OR WRONG. I don't think that is polite nor necessary. I think the person receiving the "advice" should decide for themselves. I guess this is a common problem in "advice" sites, but if we could find a way to be more polite, even if we disagree with each other---would be helpful.

BUT, it still depends for me....when a post tells someone else a very strong statement that I take to heart, I really have a hard time keeping this big mouth shut. Also, some posters (not anonymous ones) do speak very bluntly and to the point and I can respect that as well. Anne is a very to the point, blunt poster and sometimes you need to take into account and embrace different personalities as well. StepMom is like that as well. I respect their opinion and don't take their bluntness personally.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

I think you understand what I mean. If we all can dialogue together like this, (I know that emotions are involuntary but our tongues are connected to our brain!) with reasonable straight-forwardness (is that a word?), make our points & suggestions we will be able to maximize the effectiveness of this site. It is a great site & I look forward to reading/posting/and learning in the future.

And daddysgurl, I think you hit the nail on the head!

I just found this site last night and let me tell you it has been very helpful to me and my husband. My husband even enjoys reading your coments because it makes him feel like he's not the only one. Thanks for everything.

and I think I know what you trying to say, I often disagree with advice given but I don't often mention that advice and give my own to the thread starter. If someone says something negative about the thread starter and attacks them personally or their feelings, then, just try to stop me.

It is ok to disagree and ok to tell people you disagree but minus the agro?? I think what needs to be stopped is people attacking other peoples "FEELINGS" they are the posters feelings so how can they be wrong? Am I right?? I hate the threads that start along lines of "All you women on here are..." whatever (Victims, whingers etc..) the shitty things they say are personal attacks and no one deserves that. And when they come along you better stand back! LOL

You were not invited here to attack us, us who are trying as best we can to deal with our situation life has dealt us..why do we deserve to be stoned because we need to vent..anon nasty posts really get me going!! But at the end of the day, this is a public message board and Dawn is to busy to moderate every post, so really we are adult and we just have to make sure the weeds don't choke the garden...weed em out, we've done it before!! Hugs all.

Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*