as a positive lesson to your child. I don't think you are being a jealous bitch I think BM is being a selfish bitch not to teach him to share. Continue to let your son share his toys with his brother and show him the joy out of doing just that. When you have alone time with your son, talk with him about his feelings about it and how it makes him feel when his brother won't share with him.

Show your son that love is so much more important and obviously by your SS being spoilt he has also been taught not to share. When your son sees that being a good person is more important than any toy, he may just teach his brother a thing or 2. I think it's weird that your DH reacts in that way. My Dh and I have 3 boys, one mine, one his and one ours. He would be livid if SS came here and did that the other children as I would be with mine, situation reversed.

Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*

I have been with my finance for 2 yrs. He has a 9 yr old daughter and will not stand up to the ex. The ex treats him like a child and doesn't think he knows how to raise their daughter at all. I can't believe any man could not stand up to an ex. This was all so new to me. She has not allowed his daughter to come see him in the past. This is because she thinks I am mean to the daughter and I'm sure she brainwashes the poor daughter into believing it. A month ago I was feeling really insecure and excluded from my fiance and the sd. He had his daughter all weekend and I was not asked to participate in their fun. I asked them to go to church with me on Sunday and He looked at the daughter and she said no. I asked him if he wanted to go and he said not if she doesn't want to. When I got home they were watching tv and I set down and mentioned that we as a family need to start doing more things together....all of us. My finance says we will talk about it later (which he says when the daughter is present). I wanted to discuss it with all of us in the room. I wanted to see how his daughter felt about the idea. They would not talk to me. He said he was taking his daughter home now because she had a birthday party. I asked if I could ride along with them. He said no I don't want you around. This hurt me and unfortunately made me furious. Anyway he rushed his daughter to the car. I grabbed him a bag and threw it outside saying why don't you just stay somewhere for a few days. He didn't call for a few days. I called him and said I'm sorry, I was just so upset and hurt. I said please come home and let's work this out. I said I would apologize to his daughter and let her know I'm human and I made a mistake. He says he doesn't love me anymore and he is not coming back. We just bought a new house which he knows I can not afford. I have two children of my own who live here as well. I think he could not stand being in the middle of the ex-wife, his daughter and me. He did not choose me. I love him so much and begged for him to come back home and let's get some counseling. He refuses. I'm so hurt! Do you think he will ever come home and stand up to his responsibilities here?

I have 3 wonderful SD....I've known them for 1 1/2yrs now. I originally met my now husband while he was going through a divorce. And although he made the decision of divorcing her before he met me....she calls me a homewrecker in front of everyone to hide behind her failure of the marriage. What broke the camels back was that she abandon him when he got accepted to med school at another state and she decided not to go. She rather stay in her million dollar house and see him once a month with the girls. She is a self centered, uneducated, unconsiderate gold digger. She promised him that if he went through the divorce she was going to find someone else that had more money then him to take care of her and his daughter. And she has, poor guy. What is sad is that she got pregnant to trap him and told his mother that she was going to be well off being a doctors wife. His parents never got along with her. She almost drove him to bankruptcy because of the extravagant lifestyle. Everything she buys has to be name brand. She's teaching her daughters to be that way too. I...who come from a well off family and a doctor don't need to buy Brand names to make me feel important. I purposely didn't buy them name brand clothes for Christmas. I take that back. I bought one item for each girl(shirt from Limit two and Hollister). When we picked them up for christmas they were so excited to open up more gift at our house. They bragged of how they mom got them a wii (which was hard to get and over $400), an Itouch (which cost $300), Ughs boots (which rarely anyone has because they are so expensive and cost over $200), and name brand clothing. I almost felt bad that I didn't buy more....but I decided want to join in what their mother is doing. I realized that the kids were excited about what they got and wanted to express their excitement but putting price tag on what they got....that's their mom's doing. I laughed when one daughter told us Santa Claus must of spent a million dollars.....I muffled yup....your dad spent a lot on you guys:) I only said that because all three knows Santa is dad. Although we had alot more christmas gift under our tree than their mom per one of the girls....they seemed to expect more expecially from Santa. I guess more name brands or electronic gadgets....they made fun of my Jcpenny/Sears boxes:) Although some items were from Dillards or other stores. Any suggestions on battling the name brands?

Wow.... at first when I read The Ex's post, I wanted to throw up. It hit so close to home. I found this page because of my fiance's ex and the emotions I am dealing with because of her. I thought I might be able to find someone who could help me deal. Then I see that post, and it was like it came straight from HER. The BM from hell. That is EXACTLY her stance and how she acts/talks, except for the "I will sleep with him again" part. She is completely off her rocker. They have a 9 year old daugther together and admittedly had many one night stands, but outside of the bedroom all they did/do is fight violently and consistently. She dated as did he, but they always got back together because of convenience and availability. Now that fiance and I have settled down, he proposed and cut off his ties with her, she is spewing the same garbage. "I knew he didnt want to settle, and its fine that he's ready now and going to do it with you, but he will always belong to me, i have his blood daugther and have known him for 10 years" she txts him all the time telling him how he is a shitty father for living with me and my kids and how he needs to spend more time with his "REAL" family... even though before he met me, she refused to allow him to see his daughter unless she was going to get a lil action at the same time. So... in closing... "The EX" ... you are freaking ridiculous. He is not yours. Your child is his family. YOU are not. You do not have his name, sleep in his bed.. he does not wake up next to you in the morning, run his hand across your cheek and tell you he loves you... he did not get on his knee, profess his love and ask you to marry him. Did he? No? Didnt think so. You need to wake up and smell reality. Am I harsh? Damn straight I am. You are so quick to inflict pain on your ex's fiance to make yourself feel better... so if you can't take the heat sweetheart, get out of the kitchen. Your CHILDS FATHER does not want you for anything more than sex. You created the one person that he will love unconditionally forevermore, that is where the line is drawn. Get a life of your own. And to all of you that responded, thank you, because I was about to go screaming into traffic after reading that crap. Glad I'm not the only one who can smell a psycho thru a computer post.

No More Baby's Mama Drama by Ayesha Gallion. I've read it..I have over a dozen stepparenting books...I still hate the ex with passion..but it helps put things into perspective.

So I have read through numerous posts about hating the ex's. Let me tell you a story. My husband of 19 years goes off with an 18 year old girl (who was also trying to be with our 18 year old son). We have three children together the youngest being 9. The husband and I divorce and he married the girl. None of the kids want to see him (1. because he is verbally abusive) (2. because he is with this girl). Was I angry yes I was. Two years later they divorce because she cheated on him. He comes back into my picture (yes like an idiot, I forgave him, but my children are still guarded and don't trust him) with good reason, seems like he has been talking to both me and the girl. Three months after thier divorce, he is up here with me and the kids "spending time as a family", but then I discover (by accident, a few days after he left that he remarried her. I know she hates me (because I'm the ex) and I can't say I like her much. But if this woman knew all the mean and hateful things he said about her (I'm sure he has said it about me to) she would be furious with him. Some men (husbands) are just evil. My point, not all ex's are bad - some of them may have reasons.

I am going thru alot right now. I am engaged to a man that I love. Everything is good except his cousin tries to start trouble with me and my fiances ex. She tells me all the time that she wants him back. His cousin backs stabs me all the time with his ex. My fiance did try to get back with his ex when we first statred dating. He realized she wasnt for him.What can I do. Im sick of the drama!!!!

It's so nice to know that other people understand where I am coming from. This ex is so "out of it" that I wasn't allowed to even be around the children , without her present (even though my husband was there) for six months after we married. She stopped his visitation when she found out he and I were expecting a son because she only has girls with him. She has a son from a one night stand and for a little while during his and her marriage he talked of adopting him, but the kids real dad showed up. So she was so jealous that my husband has a true biological son.
She says she is calling to simply talk about the girls but then she rants and raves about how she doesn't have a social life, not our fault. She makes promises that she won't dump her problems on my husband and she does. She pitched a fit when I wouldn't let her in my hospital room after my csection. She became angry when I told her that my son is not her family, because she kept telling the girls that she was kind of his mom too!!!! I don't know what else to do with the crazy woman and because my husband doesn't deal with her harshly enough, she continues to call him at work or get angry when I answer the phone at my house.
There have been times that I was ready to leave my husband because I felt that he was allowing her to manipulate him so much and I was tired of it.
I honestly dread the weekends when the girls come because they want to make comments about how much fun it was when they (the ex and my husband) would go here or there. Sorry, but I'm putting myself through college and raising my son and working full time, so we don't have a lot of time to take trips. My husband has spoken with the girls about respecting me, and it's getting better but I feel like a maid when they are there.
Okay, I better quit venting or you people will think I'm the evil stepmom but I'm not.
Just any suggestions how to deal with this crazy ex? What do I do?
my email is kc83@live.com and please email with any suggestions.

We hate the ex because she's a constant reminder that your man, the one you love, had sex with this woman....had naked, sex with her. She reminds you that there was a time when he loved her. And the more psycho she is, the more you can't fathom why he was with her in the first place, then you think "how could you possibly have loved this woman, then treat me (as normal as I am) badly at times".

We hate the ex because she had a child with your love, and not only do you want to be the mother of this children, you can't stand it that you will never be the mother and as shitty of a BM that she is, the SKid will always favour her, because...."she's her mother".

We hate her because our man has to agreed to pay child support, alimony and 100% of the child's expenses, even though we have the child 50% of the time...and to top it off...we hate her because she negotiates her way out of taking the child as often as she can.

I hate that my love will refer to her as a "selfish c*nt" one day, then two days later, I have to hear him exchange recipes and be nice-nice on the phone with her. I hate it when she threatens him for more money, I hate it when he blasts her to me....and I f*cking hate it when I hear him be nice to her a couple days later.....oh, and I hate every moment when he defends her in any small way.

whew.....that felt goooood.....

I met my ex-husband when he was in the navy in 1961, we got married had 4 children (the very best thing that came of this marriage was the children). We were married for 32 yrs. some of the time was good, and some of it was unbearable, but my children made it livable. He was pretty much of a womanizer, but never open with it. Then around year 31 he went "stupid" The children were all on their own and out of the home. We were traveling alot and showing Quarter Horses, and for the first time in years, what I thought was a really good time. Out of the "blue" and hit me right between the eyes, was a 23 yr old truckstop waitress. younger than me youngst son. She had a child and was pregnant.....not his. But they were having an open affair, yes I got a divorse. and for the past 6 years he is still acting like this has been my fault. I will not ever take the blame for his actions. For awhile I was so bitter, and constantly tried to figure out why he did such a thing. Now my life is so good. I have remarried, and live life the way it should be done. But because of the children this ex is always there in the background of my life. He is a total slug. My youngst son resented his Dad for years, and I did everything I could do to help him through his feelings, telling him, he didn't get to pick his Mom and Dad, and we were the only ones he would have, so try to repair his damaged feelings while he had a chance. Believe me that was hard to do, because I could care less. Even though I have a wonderful life now, I still can't get passed my resentment for all the years I "wasted" with my "ex"

I hate her because she makes the kids sleep with her boyfriends kids on a mattress on the floor
I hate her because she hit her 3 year old son
I hate her because she tried to have my husband's life ruined
I hate her for hurting 5 young children, 2 families, in-laws & subsequent children
I hate her for giving birth (I don't hate the kids, just her for having children with someone she was using the entire time, when she could have had the kids with his best friend, who's she with now anyway)
I hate her for coming to my door acting like she's something special when really she's not
I hate her for living, her own mother doesn't even like her
I hate her for trying to take the kids to dangerous countries, not realizing she has no chance
I hate her for looking like trash, not cleaning her house, and that nose (*ugh)
I hate her for having been married to my wonderful husband, because she didn't deserve him
I hate her for cheating
I hate her for breathing in our planet's oxygen

okay girls i need some help. i have the ex from hell all of the above describes her, this is the one who tried to get me charged for her showing up on my doorstep (last years post "i could get a criminal record")
so, after my own long drawn out battle of my own, things with my own ex smoothed out.
she searched him out on facebook and added him as a freind just to piss me off.
tell me how i can not let that get to me.
i called my ex and tried to speak with him about how she is and what she is capable of, and well, he is about as evil as her at times, so this is a deadly combination.
my dh is going back to court and she has been searching and seeking ways to make us look bad, and drag up crap. she is getting low now as she hasnt got much to work with.
i need some words of advise cause i feel like i could grind her face to the concrete about now. (thats not a threat its an expression of how i feel) just so we are clear....god knows we dont need to be charged for uttering threats....
when will it stop. i take the high road i stay dis connected i have no contact i dont see her face to face EVER dh does the dirty work, but she hates me so bad, she just cant lay the axe down.
uuggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Madison
"change occurs within"

I love the story about 'douche'. Now THAT's a real wack-job ex....but that story is so funny to read. Good thing that stepmum is able to have a sense of humour about such a crazy psycho! It totally comes close to my situation so I believe every word.

I personally do not care if MY husband's ex hates me. She's an ex, and he divorced her for being a cheating, lying, horrible insult to the human race. I don't care if she hates me. In fact, I welcome it. Bring it on! We are both bio-moms and stepmoms but she's not good at either job. The difference is that she's a 'biowhore' (in all areas) and I'm not. Nuff said.

Just read the last comment....

Just to point out - "Biowhore" is actually a word, according to Urban Dictionary (slang)...scroll down for the bottom defintion. I think this will enlighten many members

Here is the link: Just so you know - now THAT is even funnier! Found it soo long ago and sent it to a friend but I was waiting for a really good chance to use it! Thanks!

Remaining anonymous for this one

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=biowhore

Between my wife's exes, her insecurities, my insecurities, and the kids, I'm in a constant state of frustration. Here's the quick low down.

1 exes- from the begining her exes and her poor boundaries have lead to headaches. Continuing email and calls (He even called on our wedding night!) This plus a Springer-esque past has left me feeling very insecure.

2 her insecurities- She focuses on things I'd consider trivial. And is very controlling

3 Her kids hate me because I have had run ins with their dad when he's drunk/high. And they have so many issues (psychological) that I don't even want to be around when they are home (70% of the time)

I want this marriage to work but in the past few months it is so overwhelming. Doubt there is any advice out there. probably just wanted to vent

Its ssoooo great to find such a support group!!THank you so much everyone for sharing all your stories...it really helps me feel less isolated...
Ive been with my husband 3years, we have a 10month BD and a 10yr SS. I love my husband and my step son ALOT- its just 'her (the ex)' that i cant stand!!! She doesnt know how to communicate anything and her only way of talking is yelling!!!!she looks down on me and I really really cant stand the thought that she's going to be in the picture for the rest of my life/marriage...!!!!
We are struggling sssooo much financially because my husband is self employed but the greedy woman wont stop nagging for more child support!!Her new man and her drive a four wheel drive and live in a nice suburb but she still wants to squeeze every cent off us to a point we cant even afford basics after paying rent!!!
I HATE HER!!I HATE HER!!I HATE HER!!!! she has said the most hurtful things to me that i cant even write them down!!she moved SS an hour away and the deal was we'll meet halfway for our weekend visits- now she's changed everything and the story is- if hubby wants to see his son, he has to pick him from home and drop him back!!! its RIDICULOUS!!!!the horror stories are endless...i just wish he had never met her and i was there first!!

anyway it felt really good to vent !!!

Her current husband divorced her, citing his complaints about her grossly co-dependent relationship with her daughter (my husband's daughter). So she kicked the daughter out of the house as a last ditch effort to try to get her hubby to take her back. Stepdaughter is 17 years old and had only 3 weeks left in her Junior year. So we got custody of her and now she has to go to summer school to make up all the classes (that she was getting As in) that she didn't get to finish because the mother has this crap drama with the hubby that she created. The poor girl is so brainwashed, she makes up all these excuses for her mother, even though the problems with the hubby are entirely the mother's fault (lying to him, cheating, manipulating him, etc. etc.). But the mother's fine with the daughter believing it's all her fault. sick, sick, sick, sick. I could go on, but man I HATE that EVIL vile sick woman. I HATE her for what she's done to her kid. Her kid is SO screwed up in the head and now we have to try to help her and deal with her, pay for counseling, etc. etc. etc. I am happy to do that, but I just HATE the woman for what she's done to this poor kid's life. This isn't the only issue, just the latest. And on top of it, she LIED to her daughter and told her she was only going here for a week, so all she had with her was a week of summer clothes and a swimsuit - nothing appropriate for school. And the mother absolutely refuses to mail any of her clothing, shoes, toys, games, CDs, etc. NOTHING. So my husband supported this child fully financially for 17 years (because the mother worked under the table and claimed she had no income even though she was making more money in cash than my husband was clearing)... and she won't do ANYTHING to support this kid by just sending her things she ALREADY owns. Sick, evil, vile hateful woman. ARGH! This is just the latest in years and years of emotional neglect and abuse she's created with this kid.

OK, I'm done.

I dont hate the prostitute. We laugh at her together and get loads of enjoyment out of it. I dont hate the fact they share children together as he never planned them with her like he is planning them with me.

Sure we dont like her, and the kids are selfish retards but they will not affect our life together. I know he would never sleep with it again as it is fat and old and he never liked her to begin with. It was a teen romance and they met up again in their twenties. He was about to throw her out so she accidently got pregnant whilst on the pill. What sort of a threat is that?!

I knocked on her door two years ago and saw her silhouette in the window. I thought she was pregnant, and when she opened the door she could not look me in the eye. She is older than me, single and struggling with money. I have a husband, a nice home and a nice life. Whats to hate?

"Dispute not with her, she is a lunatic."

I hate my husband's ex wife. I tried so hard in the beginning to be nice and make this work and she just wouldn't let me. She is mean, overweight, and 10 years older than me. She is also a crappy mother in my opinion. Not bad enough to lose her son, but bad enough that it makes me wonder if she's crazy.

She never cooks, she has no idea how. They only eat fast food all of the time. This is one reason why she's so fat. This makes it impossible on me to get my stepson to eat anything remotely healthy. I am of average weight, but have to work really hard to maintain it. I run almost every day and eat healthy and it kills me to see people not even trying. She's fake and is always at church. When she leaves church she takes the fake off and becomes the real evil witch she is. I hate two-faced people.

I never see her anymore, but when I did she would try to copy me. She tried to get her hair cut like mine and tried to dress younger, she just ended up looking like an old fool. Every time we have my stepson she makes it hard on us. She loves to not be home when it's time to take him back.

How are you supposed to not hold a grudge on a child when his mother makes your life hell? When your nice life is interrupted by a child that wasnt raised ANYTHING like you would raise one? He has no interest in anything but video games. I try to get him interested in other things, but it never works. I have just given up. Sometimes I wonder how my husband married such a piece of trash and then married the total opposite years later. I just don't get it but every other weekend I end up miserable.

Let me tell you, I can so relate to much of what I am reading. I have been with my fiance for a year and throughout our relationship his ex has been guilting him thru their 12 year old son. She says I am the reason they did not get back together. He had no intention of going back with her. She shows up to pick up their son wearing revealing clothing and flirting. She constantly tries to make small talk. I have been very good to my stepson and love him as my own. It is hard to build our relationship when she keeps making me the villian. Now she has new tactics trying to keep her son from my fiance. In turn he feels guilty and will do almost anything to appease her in order to see his son. I am finding it extremely taxing and I think she is a wing ding and I wish she would find a man. I am at my wits end now trying to deal with my stepsons resentment towards me. When he visits he causes nothing but trouble. I believe she talks to him about adult issues regarding her relationship with my fiance. I am curious to know if anyone out there can relate to my circumstances.

I never knew until now I wasnt alone.. Ive got great friends, they are simply blessed to not know nor understand the situation I currently find myself....

My husband && I knew eachother along time ago.. Oh, what a time that was... But with life, we went our seperate ways.. && I truly believe we fulfilled a destiny, we were meant to live.. It was at a time we both so desperatly needed eachother that we came back into our lives.. Almost 6 months to the day of our chance meeting, we were married... I have one son, and he has two children, with a woman he spent over 10 years with.. I dont like to dislike.. but gosh, i have tried, for far tooooooo long! Ive done everything I can to dodge her self righteous, selfish, pathetic attempts, at splitting us up.. and doing everything she can to hurt me.. starting with the kids && ending with him.. I simply do not know what to do anymore!

More than life, I love him... I know that we were meant to be.. I dont know how to handle all the drama, the hate, the selfish ways of a woman, who gave us his children after hacking his emails to find out we sometimes argued about their wild ways.. I love them as they are my own.. Ive never favored any of the kids over another, and have always gone out of my way to make them feel at home when they were only coming half the week... Now they are here full time, with only a three or four window of visitation she chooses each week...

Totally honest: I honestly believe she only visits the kids because it is her way of keeping in touch with him.. I tried everything to be nice to her.. invited her into my home, ignored her insults and sarcasm... yet with her its never ending... I know he loves me.. but when will I actually be able to enjoy my hubbie && kids when she does everything she can on a daily basis to intrude? Am I being totally selfish in wishing her away? I want her to see the kids, I do.. I spend the majority of my time with the kids, as I was asked to quit work to stay with them.. && make sure to do whatever I can to let them know their mom loves them && does miss them, although I often question it myself? What good mother would totally give custody of her kids up? But know this.. Through it all.. the good ole state revenue office is still deducting a ridiculous amount of child support to assure the kids are cared for?!??! How is this when we have them?

I simply want to feel as if I am part of this marriage too! Instead of a stranger formely known as me.

You have a child with a man, he bails for years and years then comes back and you sleep with him?

WOW!!!! you certainly have no respect for yourself.

This is typical baby momma syndrome! They SWEAR that because they had a child with a man it gives them a backstage pass to play a role in the mans life forever and ever. If my husband told BM to open her legs SHE WOULD! Because in her twisted little mind it would mean he loved her.
Sad...Truly sad...