Step Talk

No, I don't think one can know what it's like to step-parent unless you've been there. Much like not knowing what it's like to be a parent unless you've been one. That's why we have these forums so we can share/vent our concerns when it seems like we have no where else to go. Step-parenting can be very isolating at times.

Can I suggest you do some reading about step-parenting? Through reading, I learned from the beginning about the dynamics that occur with all the parties involved in a family. I wasn't a parent, so needed some professional advise. The book really helped.

It helped to validate what I was feeling and how I could deal with those feelings. I read "Step by Step Step-parenting." Of course that was 11 years ago and there may be better ones out there today. I didn't have this site to go to, so the book was a "warm and cozy" for me to lean on.

fix her picture? It's distorting the view!

Welcome SShoho! I know you will find this sight useful; what to do, what not to do, and mostly comfort!!

We are a motley crew of different experiences. some are BMs only, SM only, or Both AND Ditto for the DH's. Each of us bring something to the table.

I don't think there is ANY way to know what it is like to be a step parent unless you ARE one. There is no way I could ask my ex to understand the relationship between DH and my girls...He never had a step parent and he is NOT a step parent. So, it is confusing to him and he doesn't always know how to react when things come up like family picnic day at my daughters school a few weeks ago... I couldn't go... so DH went. My ex commutes so I knew that was not an option. It was not an easy pill to swallow, but he dealt with it. Just like no one will truly know what it is like to be a PARENT until you have kids of your own, or become a step parent. It is the hardest and best thing I have ever done. And worth every heartache. I think it is asking too much to think that anyone would understand what it is like to be a step parent. There are too many facets involved. When BM and I sat down for lumch last month, I tried to give her a little insight on the things that DH and I deal with being step parents. It helped for her to hear WHY I do some of the things that she considers me "trying to be ss's mom" when really I am only trying to LOVE him and make everything EQUAL amongst the kids to make their childhood better than MINE. It is a TOUGH job, but I choose it, so I deal with it.

Daddys Gurl

It's Better To Have Loved And Lost, Than To Have Spent The Rest Of My Life With THAT PSYCHO!!!!

Actually I believe that it's the males who don't get it. (pardon me to all you guys who are actually trying)
I think that stepmothers have it the worst cos the men seem to think that we are in the dark ages where the woman is reponsible for more of the parenting. What's more............husbands dont think that their little princes or princesses NEED any parenting. They just think that the stepmum., their wife, is making an issue

Actually I believe that it's the males who don't get it. (pardon me to all you guys who are actually trying)
I think that stepmothers have it the worst cos the men seem to think that we are in the dark ages where the woman is reponsible for more of the parenting. What's more............husbands dont think that their little princes or princesses NEED any parenting. They just think that the stepmum., their wife, is making an issue.

What about the fact that you can't seem to talk to your DH's cos they are ultra sensitive to anything you say about THEIR KID, especially if you do not have any biokids yourself!!!
ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!