Well then if they want to act like children treat them like children....cut them off from the house. Take the key out of the lock box, change the locks(one or more of them I am sure has made a key by this point) Tell them they are all adults and if they want to come to another adults home they need to arrange it first. I call my mom before I come to her house because it is just commen curtosy, my mom and I are best friends and I am always welcome but I know sometimes she just needs to relax alone. Talk to your husband and explain that they can come over but this has gotten out of control you need to ba able to feel like it is your home not a hotel.

Me - I would lay it all out to DH and give them a schedule of when they can and can't come. It needs to be laid out simply for them to understand. Who cares if they get upset? It is her house and she put money into it as well as DH. Stand up for yourself.

Wow, you are very generous, loving woman. They descend on your place every weekend and sometimes during the week? —Unreal! Then they invite so many of their friends that you can’t even park in your own driveway? Then if you don’t meet their demands they start bashing you and coach the grandchildren to do the same? That is just so cruel!

Seacat said she sold her beautiful home and put all proceeds from that money into repairing the ocean front property. That means seacat owns that property just as much as dad does. These thick, rude, adult kids seem to think they own the place and they don’t, and then they have the nerve to get indignant when the owners construct some perfectly reasonable boundaries.

As we age our needs change. Are these people going to come by and help you if you are bedridden or are they going to continue bringing over their friends for a big party in your home hoping that you croak sooner than later so they can claim your house?

They owe you a huge apology and a promise to never pull that backstabbing aggressive crap again. I would be asking for that before they set foot on our property even one more time. It is just horrible that aging parents, already overextended caring for others and themselves have to deal with the insensitive demands of children and stepchildren at a time when tranquility is so necessary for the maintenance of overall good health. Your health and well-being don’t seem to enter the equation with these alleged adults.

There is well-documented research linking psychosocial problems to heart disease. It is time they started thinking about you two rather than their own good times.

I am struck by the fact that you have to read the forum title in order to know the ages of these little demons. There is not a thing contained in a post, other than stated age, that would indicate any of us are dealing with adults.
I wish you very good luck because you are on the brink of something that will make a big difference in every aspect of your life. You will find out if your husband is all the things you thought/hoped he'd be. Only you know if sitting down to explain your feelings to him will be of any use. If you feel it might, plan what you will say and go over it a thousand times before speaking aloud. Be prepared to thank him for being considerate and understanding your need to be able to use your home as a refuge, at times. Be prepared to find he will give in to the squeakiest wheel, which will likely be the Preciouses, and you will find yourself alone in that crowd.
You've been given some sound advice, particularly regarding courtesy. Be courteous and considerate because approaching someone about changing their environment often makes them feel defensive even if they agree with you. Say nothing that can be thrown back at you. Treat your husband as you'd like to be treated in the circumstances. I say this so that you can look back and feel no guilt for the way you handled things.
The only new suggestion I can make would be to seduce your husband in a public area of the house at any time you feel there might be an imminent visit from one of the steps. You'd need to add very little to make your point if any one of them barges in only to find Dear Ole' Dad's rear end blinking myopically at them over the arm of the sofa.

I have this exact same problem, but his girls are 52, 51, and 50. They have gone as far to tell me they need the house on certain dates and do not want us here. They have asked us to leave our home for their teen age boys (grandsons) to come for a vacation with their girlfriends. I recently had and experience of loosing a brother in law suddenly, and you will not believe what went on. First off the brother in law that passeda way lived in the country next to where we also have a country house/hunting camp. We were called the day before leaving to attend the services and was notified that their mother would be sleeping in our bedroom and we should bring our camper. I must say this was quite a shock to me since the ex wife had not seen nor had contact with the deceased nor his family. Therefore I decided not to be a part of the circus, and not be a part of this at a funeral service where all would be gatherinf at the our country house after the services... As it turns out I am the bad guy, my husband is mad at me? The deceased wife called me and said she totally understood and had no idear what her brother was thinking of, and that his ex should be at a hotel if she wanted to attend the service of someone she has not spoken to in 40 years.. But i am the bad guy. And no they are not getting back together, and yes I actually like her and have attended many functions with both of us being there, I hug and greet her. Please tell me if I m wrong, for I feel this is a fine line that was crossed. I also feel like sending a book " Miss Maners" tot hem all. But my husband's youngest (50) is a control freak, and is still trying to get these two back together at any cost. I mean they have been divorced 40 years and both remarried and divorced again before I ever came into the picture... So my husband has not been home since August and wants me out of the house? I feel like he stole my anger. It is actually funny at this age. Anyway the advice you are being given as to make sure you know what you say and please be aware of the ramifications of your talk. And if anyone has any advice for me, please chime in. There is so many variables in my situation, and so much dissappointment, that I am not sure it is not such a bad idea, we getting a divorce. But as for me leaving and he not being here, well that is just not going to happen. He will have to come and resolve this in person, for I also have invested a lot of money in this home... HELP... who would think a SD would be calling the shots in your marriage at 67 years of age. It is amazing, if she says jump he ask how high. Not exagerating...