Step Talk

I have not seen a "bill of rights" but that would be cool. But what we do have in my house and at 1st it was posted on the fridge but now we have it stenciled over our hallway to the bedrooms is what we call "The Platinum Rule" (named after the golden rule) "Do unto others as THEY wish to have done unto THEMSELVES". We have many, many (and many more to come) family meetings on this subject.

I used to have a copy, I looked around a bit but can't find it. I will see if I still have it somewhere...

It is what it is...

I have it on my fridge..let me know if thats the one and I'll put it online..

Stepparents Bill of Rights

I will be part of the decision making process in my marriage and family at all times

People of outside ny immediate family, including ex's, in laws, and children cannot make plans that affect my life without my consent.

I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits.

I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit and how long.

I will not be solely responsible for housework; chores will be distributed fairly.

I will be consulted on all family financial matters.

Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission.

I will not be treated like an outsider in my own home.

My spouse and stepchildren will treat me with respect.

Our marriage is our first priority, and we will address all issues together.

No I don't know who wrote it..someone posted it here a couple weeks ago

That was just what I was looking for thanks sixxnguns.

Thank you! I have printed this up to put up where DH can see it. I doubt it will make a difference, but it will make me feel better.

Hi, I'm new here and I have a question which me and my husband can't answer. What are my rights as a stepmom? As far as I know, I don't have any rights regarding my two stepsons who live in my husbands and my house from sunday night until friday night. I am the main caregiver of the boys - will say that I am the one that parents them, takes care of their school stuff, takes care of their appointments with doctors and dentists and whatever else comes up. I actually do everything what their bio parents are supposed to do. My husband and his ex have shared custody, but my husband has the living rights. For the last four years they lived half of the week with us and the other half of the week with their mother, but she is not a lot into the kids when it comes to responsebility. So she asked my husband already twice in the last 5 years if he wants the younger boy for good because she doesn't come along with him. Back then I still lived in Germany and my husband couldn't have done it by himself. We started this year now that they live during the week with us and on the weekends with her. She asked us we would do it and of course I said yes. My husband thinks I have the same rights as a bio parent, but like I said already, I don't think so. Is there anything my husband can do to give me rights?

I think it might depend from state to state. But when you say rights what do you mean? Like medical decision rights or sending a permission slip for a school activity?

You are beautiful too. Is that you and your baby?

Kelly Kathleen

In PA, if a BP dies, custody automatically goes to other BP. Steps have no rights to visitation either. I do not sign any permission slips, go to MD or dentist with Dh's son be/c I don't want the responsibility of any of it AND don't want the BM griping.

Also, sending a child to therapy requires the consent of both biological parents.

Be very, very careful of what you're taking on. It may seem like BM doesn't care but sooner or later, she'll get a burr up her ass and start to care and you'll be the ones suffering.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

You need to get your H to sign a Power of Attorny, (PA) statement so that if he is not present and the kds need medical care you can sign for them. Usually it just states that in an emergency if neither BP is available you have the power to sign for medical care. You can also add that since they are with you 75% that you have the power to sign school docuements, sign them in and out of school or any other event that needs tending to and the BPs are not available.

I have two SD and 1 BD. I have been married for 2 years and since we got married the kids have lived with us. the BM has been here and gone, goes months without calling kids, when she does call she says that I have been screening the calls which never happen. The oldest SD is not my husbands it is his daughters sister, we have no custody and my husband won't do anything to obtain custody. anyways I have no support and feel like I have no love. I constantly feel like a prisoner in my home, I do all the mothers dirty work but get no benefits of a mother(like love) I am the only that feels like we should have rules my daughter gets disciplined but when it comes to the SD I think that my husband is afraid that she will want to go live with the BM. I just feel like saying good riddance with the whole bunch and take my baby and run I need to talk to someone that knows how I feel soon before I go and commit myself to a mental institute. No joke