Stepmom_of_4's picture

Grow up already! The BM is making comment about me on Facebook....

Okay, I always try to be the bigger person and ignore that childish ways of the BM and her friends.... but this is just about to break my silence!

The BM is making comments on her friends pages & mutual friends of the BM, DH & I about me! Everyone wouldn't realize what they were about unless you knew the situation and the past situations of our "big happy family" but I know who and what she is talking about and so do many other people!

My DH and I refuse to have a "facebook fight" with her or even acknowledge that we notice her comments, but this stuff get old!!!! Not to mention the fact that the oldest SS has facebook and is friends with all of us...The comments are definitely stuff he would understand... WOW! She is setting a wonderful example foe him! Barf!

In the past, she always makes her status about whatever fight her and the DH have had.... and we just laugh it off.... but now she has just started making random comments about us/me. A year of this crap is long enough....

And if that isn't enough, she puts all these pictures of herself and best friend "getting wild" on there!

Why is it so complicated to set a good example for your children? Or to act your age instead of like you are still in High School?

AND SHE SAYS I AM IMMATURE BECAUSE I AM YOUNGER THAN HER!!!HAHA


overit2's picture

PEOPLE-Stay off eachothers

PEOPLE-Stay off eachothers facebook-no reason on earth to have friends w/a crazy ex wife...I don't care if it's because of all the lame excuses-we get to see updates about the kids, pics of the kids, etc...leads to snooping from both ends, animosity and stupid games!

Gosh I really think my bf's approach is right-he doesn't even WANT a FB page.

STAY OFF EACHOTHERS FACEBOOK PAGE-THE END!!

lm862003's picture

I have to agree with overit2

I have to agree with overit2 on this one. Set your FB to private and unfriend anyone who might be a mole to your husband's ex. I know all about this one, believe me, its for the best. While you might be taking the "high road" by not engaging in a FB argument, you are a participant just by being visible and being annoyed by her comments. The "real" high road is to not even be aware of her comments. If she knows that you are not engaging and do not notice the comments will stop eventually. Hope that makes sense.

Modern Blended Family Forum

DaizyDuke's picture

Agree with all above... BLOCK

Agree with all above... BLOCK her ass and stop looking at her page... SHE is winning! You don't think that she is posting that crap knowing that you and DH will see it?? If you block her, you won't be able to see ANY of her posts whether they be on her page or your mutal friends pages... she will cease to exist in your FB world... I would highly recommend it!!

I like my FB and don't ever want to have to see BM's nasty mug or stupid comments... she's been blocked since day 1!

Dear BM, if you can't be the sharpest tool in the shed, you can always be the hoe.

My first instinct when I see a dog is to say "hello". My first instinct when I see a skid is to avoid eye contact and walk away

1dawoman's picture

THIS

THIS

Asher10's picture

Step away from the

Step away from the facebook.

i swear facebook causes more hurt feelings than anything out there right now.it's ridiculous.

Arya's picture

i love this comment. where's

i love this comment. where's the like button?

Go now. There are other worlds than this.

Milomom's picture

Yet another post about the

Yet another post about the drama that Facebook causes to reinforce what I already know.

This is EXACTLY why FDH & I do not use Facebook.

I truly believe that Facebook is one of the MAJOR reasons for the downfall of the morals & ethics in our society.

If people would spend just HALF their time & effort on making something BETTER in the world than they do on Facebook...this world would be SUCH a better place for it.

Sorry Stepmom_of_4, not trying to aim my comments at YOU, at all. Your BM (DH's ex) obviously fits right into that category of immature, pathetic morons with simply too much time on her hands. Don't I WISH I had HALF the free time these idiot BM's spend trolling the internet "lookin' for love in ALL the wrong places" and trying to cause destruction - lol!!!

My advice (regarding pathetic BM's that try to "stir the pot" and make trouble): NEVER let 'em see you sweat! The BEST revenge is to live the HAPPIEST LIFE POSSIBLE in front of them!! Show them the REALITY of your HAPPY LIFE - it'll make them do inevitable comparisons to their OWN miserable life sitting their fat asses on the internet in their fantasy world.

Milomom's picture

Can I get an AMEN SISTA'?!?!?

Can I get an AMEN SISTA'?!?!? LOL!!

FormerAAGirl's picture

Amen, sista!!!

Amen, sista!!!

AVR1962's picture

FaceBook causes problems. I

FaceBook causes problems. I recently took all of my family off my page because of an issue that got all messed up and passed around. I closed my account shortly afterward because of yet more family who it was terrible that I had taken them off. Bottom line for me is I don't want the stress. I did reopen my acct but I still have no family on my friends list.

I think it would be very hard to have mutual friends with your husband's ex and be on FaceBook. She is more than likely making the statements so you will see them. I don't think I would do well with this either. I would probably close my acct.

Halgsmom's picture

It is also a very great

It is also a very great resource for the Judge in the middle of a custody case. We learned this one when BM added SD a friend and then SD saw all the junk she was posting about us. The judge was not happy at all. BM claimed it was an invasion of privacy except it was SD who saw it and SD who told us. We didn't look at her stuff until SD was ticked off.

Echo's picture

For the life of me, I simply

For the life of me, I simply CANNOT understand why anyone would put themselves through that kind of crap?? Simple solution to her posting things on HER page that you don't like: Stop reading it. Ta Da !!! Problem solved.

Look...you can't make her stop. You can't change what she posts. You can't make people believe that what she spews is garbage. You have control over NOTHING when it comes to her FB page. Let. It. Go. It's all you can do.

You HAVE to know that she's posting that crap because she's fully aware that you're reading it, right? She's baiting you and your taking that bait. As long as you do, SHE wins. Ignore what you cannot control...or keep looking at it and allowing it to eat you alive.

If it's important to you, you'll find a way. If it's not, you'll find an excuse.

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.
Mohandas Gandhi

Jsmom's picture

I don't understand people

I don't understand people that are "Friends" with their Steps or BM's. It is just opening yourself up to problems. I recently figured out that one of my DH's Friends was actually BM's Stepsister. Made him defriend her. I only inquired about it, because she comments on his stuff all the time. I let him have it that that was inappropriate. He got it and defriended her. His answer was they don't like each other anyway. Don't care she is her friend and she could see our stuff if she commented. Block away. Make everyone happy.

BellaMia's picture

Like many of you said, DH and

Like many of you said, DH and I deleted our FB accounts last year. That is Pandora's box! More shit gets stirred on there. We decided it was SO not worth it.

I WOULD apologize for having a potty mouth... but that would only make me a potty-mouthed liar.

kerryann67's picture

I have to defend the people

I have to defend the people who use facebook. I personally love it and I'm not on there bragging or snooping. I belong to certain clubs and we receive important updates there, and my brother lives in Japan and usually communicates with the whole family there. If I started getting mean posts on my wall from my SS or the BM (great word for her, since she's a poop stain herself) I would immediately block them. We can't control what people say to their own friends, but we don't have to know about it or engage in it.

My Ss posted an unkind thing on my facebook page yesterday and I'm going to use this as a way to communicate with him and see if I can bridge the gap. If not, I will definitely unfriend him.

giveitago's picture

The people who really know me

The people who really know me are much better informed and that's what matters to me. I honestly do not give a sh1t what is said about me by people who do not matter to me.

I forgive but I am damned if I'll forget!

foxxystep's picture

I love Facebook, as it keeps

I love Facebook, as it keeps me in touch with friends and family all over the world. Here's the trick, and someone mentioned it earlier: block whomever you don't want access to. If she says nasty stuff, you'll never see it. They don't exist. But before you do this look and see who your 'mutual friends" are and block them too.

foxxystep's picture

duplicate post

duplicate post

wizeguy1032's picture

This whole Facebook stuff is

This whole Facebook stuff is getting so out of hand. Full of so called adults who are acting like teens. Get off the computer and get out in the real world. My GF and her daughter will communicate with eachother on FB and they live here together. That is hilarious and sad at the same time.

uncommon's picture

Just don't read it. I made

Just don't read it. I made this mistake awhile back and there isn't going to be anything there you want to hear. Block her and her posts on other people's pages won't show for you and you can avoid it.

(In my case, it was XH and STBSM who were making the rude comments, but same difference.)

august_time's picture

Hi Similar situation that I'm

Hi

Similar situation that I'm having - really feel for you. It's worse because my family and I have known her all her life, through nursery, school, drama groups etc. Until a few years ago, I still went to hers for parties and things! Mad really.

I have blocked her on Facebook and Twitter now, but can't stop using them as it's for my business. Unfortunately I still get comments and things, which I am made aware of through different avenues and it really makes me want to tell them all to DISAPPEAR and delete my account. But it's a useful tool for business so I'm at war.

I dont think it's a case about Facebook and Twitter and all those other sites - stop arguing over them. Everyone has different views and uses them for different reasons. THEY ARE NOT THE CAUSE OF ALL THIS HASSLE - it's HER and purely HER, and HER cronies. She just has a public forum where she feels like she can spout - and so do you, so why complain?! You could do it too, but YOU choose not to, and YOU choose to rise above it.

Tell whoever you have a problem with TO THEIR FACE that they should stop, and if they have something to talk about they can talk about it with you like adults.

My S2BDH is going to take her out at the weekend for a coffee and talk about all this silliness. She wants to shout at me? Ask me questions? Ask me to stop doing something that I'm doing? Fine! But ask me to my face for Gods sake.

You should speak to her about it.

And if you dont, it constitutes harrassment and slander and you can sue Smiling

xx

StepAside's picture

I haven't had a problem with

I haven't had a problem with FB.

I am selective as to who I will be friends with. Also, a few of the folks I'm already friends with do some pretty stupid crap (like brag hourly), so I set it so that I don't see their updates.

I haven't had anyone I know IRL post hateful crap, fight, or talk smack about other people except one very distant cousin who I've met once.

She's 50, posts pics of herself and her relatives at the lake with their beer coozies and smokes. She is missing teeth, wears a string bikini, and is covered in nasty green tats (look like the do-it-yourself kind). Most of the men in the picture have mullets or camo ballcaps. She's posted pics of her and other relatives humping each other at dive bar. She's pretty raw.

And frankly, that's the type I picture who would post that kind of stuff. I laughed a few times when she and someone else would have a smackdown, but ultimately, I defriended her.

I would drop anyone who engaged in that crap. If I was mutual friends with someone who was also friends with someone I didn't like, I'd drop them too if they kept any comments on their page which were disparaging to me or anyone else I knew.

(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

Sweetnothings's picture

Ahhh, Facebook, or as we call

Ahhh, Facebook, or as we call it FAKEBOOK......DH and I are not on any of the social networking sites, is that shocking in this day and age???? I cannot believe the stuff people post on there???? If I had to have one I would lock it down sooo tight, that is all anyone would see, unless they knew me and were really, really, CLOSE and real friends !!!! What is it with the status thingy, look how popular I am with 750 FRIENDS, ummm, okayyyyy ??!!
Skids, BM etc, do use it to vent or show how wonderful their lives are at the mo, hummmm, okayyy. With the skids venting on Fakebook would they sit across the table from you and say those things ???? I think not !!!
It is crazy, my SD invented whole new worlds on these sites, and it was all terrible....awful thing to go through....if you kids or skids are on these, be careful...very, very careful.......

ybarra357's picture

^^^ Agreed. I do not have

^^^ Agreed. I do not have facebook, myspace or twitter.

buttercookie's picture

My crazy BM and youngest SS

My crazy BM and youngest SS started crap on facebook, they were both BLOCKED immediately, I don't need the drama and won't participate in it. We all know a lot of the same people, for years I was villinized as the woman who stole her husband, funny how when she started posting her psychotic diatribes I received a ton of apologies from people who now know it wasn't me. All I did when she started this was refuse to participate and let her hang herself. Moral of the story. Facebook is suppose to be for fun and keeping in touch with people, anyone who brings drama and chaos should be blocked, don't just unfriend because they can still stalk you, you need to click block this person and move on in life.

overwhelmed_underappreciated's picture

Ha ha ha... not laughing at

Ha ha ha... not laughing at you but this sounds just like BM... I blocked her and her bf because he was stalking my page and starting a bunch of drama by taking things I said out of context and telling her who in turn called DH to argue about me... lmao... I asked her nicely to speak with me about any issues she may have as it could be taken out of context... she just decided to cut the skids visitation with their father back to the minimum allowed by CO... yeah that wont last long!!! She always wants us to take the skids when she needs a break or when she thinks it will be inconvenient for us... Needless to say I unfriended both of them and blocked them from my page as I didnt think it was necessary for them to be a part of my life. DH also did the same b/c he got sick of the stupid drama. Its freaking facebook for god's sake... not worth the stupidity.

btw I had them as friends so we could share pics of the skids and updates about how they were doing... Im glad they are gone now tho b/c I no longer have to wonder how much of what it said is misconstrued or whatever. My suggestion is just to block her and dont let her immaturity bother you. Its just her own insecurities coming out to play Smiling

Good luck Smiling

DuckiesGirl005's picture

ahh the joys of

ahh the joys of facebook...just last monday it was my future MIL's birthday and the crazy BM commented "happy birthday to the most wonderful MIL ever!!!" im thinking your the EX wife, your divorced, she is not your mother in law anymore, get a life!!! sheesh Shocked

That dont kill me can only make me stronger

Very Reluctant Step Mum's picture

Block her and any friend who

Block her and any friend who entertains the comments ... if she is going to do it and you don't react anyway, then best not to know.

Limit what the SK's can see too of yours.....

hbell0428's picture

Facebook is deff a problem

Facebook is deff a problem starter. I am not even friends w/ BM nor am I friends with ANY affiliates of hers!! no thank you! If I happen to come across a comment made on SD from BM - I don't even comment or LIKE it or anything! So far, so good. You can be the bigger person!

“My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.” - Buddy Hackett

trrmls15us's picture

We're not friends with the ex

We're not friends with the ex but we were FB friends with the kids and it was great for two years. We finally had a way to talk to the kids and keep in touch without the BM being involved. Then SD19 put the FB ap on BM's phone and the next time I posted something about how proud I was of my kids on FB she jumped right in and said they were not my kids. That was it for me. I blocked and unfriended every single person conected to her. Even my husband because I didnt want to see any posts on the kids pages where she might comment.