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- You tiptoe around your own house
1 hour 42 min ago - I would be sneaky about it
1 hour 53 min ago - Pffffffftttttttt! (as I stick my tongue out) :-)
1 hour 53 min ago - Man I would LOVE
1 hour 59 min ago - Oh my!
2 hours 40 min ago - Wrestling?
2 hours 50 min ago - OMG I could have written this!!!
3 hours 19 min ago - present for SD
3 hours 32 min ago - thank you.
3 hours 39 min ago - I pointed it out
3 hours 41 min ago
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Sometimes it just doesn't work out
That we are able to make arrangements to have ALL of the kids on days there is something special going on. I remember last year we took SS to Disneyland, but we could not get the girls. DH's family from out of state was there that day and wanted us to meet them, but my ex had something important planned that day too. My girls still don't know about it. They are so young they don't understand the details, they just know that brother got something that they didn't. So we don't tell them. Who knows it may change as they get older. Not sure how that one will pan out yet.
Daddys Gurl-
Life is as sweet as you sweeten it.
We simply just say...
Sorry, but it didn't work out. We don't hide it from either kids, nor rightly come out and say it. If they find out, they find out, but we don't have to always give them an excuse other than... because we want to.
Kids have to learn that it's okay for adults and siblings to go do things without them. They have to learn that life still goes on, it does not stop. Life is not always centered around them, and it's a lesson to be learned. If you always make it about the kids, then what disappointments will they learn from it, how will they learn to handle it, cope, etc.
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
You're right
Sometimes I think ss thinks that we stop living the moment he walks out the door. Like we are in suspended animation until he returns. Maybe that explains why he never calls when he is at Bm's house and vice versa.
So I think that once in awhile he needs to know that we do stuff.
Dawn
RE:
There were a few moments after I cast my vote that the screen was loading, and I thought, "What if I'm the only person that doesn't worry about it? Does that make me a horrible person?" I'm so glad to know that most people feel the same way I do. We do things all the time, whether SS is with us or not. We lead a pretty active life, and SS knows that. It's just a fact of life that sometimes we will do fun things without him. But we always do something fun when he's with us, too.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
I thought the same about my vote~
Am I the only one that doesn't tell the kids??? Maybe I should change my ways... but I see there are a few that do it our way. If they find out, we don't lie about it. We just try not to let them find out because they are so young and CLOSE, they would be crushed. We will teach them disappointment and how to deal with that. But right now this is what works best for us. They are so young that it is hard to say how we will handle things when they have a better understanding.
Daddys Gurl-
Life is as sweet as you sweeten it.
Sometimes
it just can't be done any other way. When our SKs were younger, BM wouldn't let them see us except at her convenience. DH and I decided early on that our lives would not revolve around her whims. Now that they are both older, it really isn't an issue since they both have their own families now.
It Depends
Everyone has a different situation, and you have to do what works out best. In ours ss lived in a different school district, and the fact that he didn't really get along with our family was a big factor too. We went on vacations when he was in school, and this kept everyone happy. He had the option of going with his mom to places, but we went all over Disney World ect. If he found out or didn't we really didn't care, he didn't live with us and if he and the bm were jealous it would always be about other things too.
As a bio (How many times I have typed that line?)
As a bio parent, I can tell you that my son never really cared about when his Dad and sm took their other children someplace. Vacations, dinners, movies, etc.
Yet, when he came home from a weekend with them and found an empty pizza box in my garbage can he looked like a hurt puppy dog. "Mom, when did you get pizza?" Thank God he never found out about the one time I went to McDonalds without him! He'd probably still be holding that grudge! (Lol)
I can honestly say that the only time my son seems "hurt" by what goes on over his Dad and sm's house is at Christmas time. Gifts being distributed to the girls from Santa, and then sm's family giving loads of presents. My son sits there and opens a few gifts while he stares at aisles 3, 4 and 5 from Toys R Us. I still feel bad when I think of it. He knows he gets enough, and sometimes I wonder if he's getting to the age where its just embarassing now. But in either case, his Dad should have been more aware of the uneveness of the gift giving thing.......
Janice
He Probably
doesn't care as much because he is only a visitor there. Divorce for the children means my family and their family. They are "their family", and I wouldn't worry about the father giving him better gifts. Unless their inappropriate or way too much or to old for the child, which happens. In those cases, you put your foot down or give them to goodwill.
We don't say much. Because
We don't say much. Because mostly we don't want BM to know what we are doing. If she thinks we are spending a little time or money without the 'girls'...she will later throw it in BF's face. Never fails!
I don't care but.....
my DH does. He'll hide our plans from SS which I believe is absolutely wrong. Children need to realize that things in life are not always going to be fun (or fair) and if they miss something because of scheduled visitation with the other parent, not my problem and I shouldn't have to guard my words regarding the fun event or be muzzled by my DH because he doesn't want SS's feelings hurt. I also see this as being sneaky and that's a trait that I do not care for in people. This is life and sometimes, feelings have to get hurt. Better to learn it now than later when the boy has to fend for himself and doesn't get everything handed to him on a silver platter.
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