soon2bestepmum's picture

I HATE my husband's ex wife!!!

My husband's ex wife is crazy. Literally. She lies, she's emotionally abusive, and her sense of entitlement is just unreal. They share joint physical/legal custody of my stepdaughter. We keep SD 2 weeks out of the month, and then BM keeps SD 2 weeks out of the month. BM moved 2 hours away from my husband when they separated, and has made promises to move closer ever since. So far it hasn't happened. She is now living with her boyfriend, and they have a new baby. BM told us that she wanted us to enroll SD in preschool in a town close to us, because they were planning to move there by August. We plan to move there as well. They haven't moved. SD and my daughter start preschool on the 26th. BM told my husband that until they move down here, we should keep SD with us full time and she will pick SD up every other weekend.

All seemed fine and good until child support was mentioned...

Of course, we shouldn't have to pay CS if BM has SD only every other weekend. If anything, she should be the one paying him CS. We would be willing to wave that for her, though. We would be willing to pay SD's preschool tuition and all medical costs ourselves, and of course her day to day expenses while she lives here. BM would only need to worry about picking her up and feeding her 2 weekends per month. That isn't good enough for BM, though. She feels he should still be paying her what he pays now. She went nuts when he broached the subject. Called him names. Told him he's a loser.

She turns around and says that if she's going to have to stop collecting her money, that she will keep the 50/50 even though she lives so far away. She'll have to make a 4 hour round trip to get SD to school, and she'll have to have her at school @ 9am. They meet at a middle point every other weekend to do the exchange, and she can barely do that on time. I don't know how she thinks she'll pull this off. He told her that it's obvious that this is about money, and not about SD. She says that it isn't about the money, and that her boyfriend makes more money than he does, and she just wants to take him for everything he owns. Because she can, and because as a man he has more responsibility toward their child than she does. (She's a real winner, ain't she.)

She texts him an hour later and says that she's sorry she blew up at him. That she's "working on herself" and trying to be a better person (HA!). She knows it's better for SD to be here to start school, and she realizes she can't keep her at the moment. She tries to bargain with him, and tells him he can pay $250/mo and the full preschool tuition until they move down here. UM, NO!

Now let me say, that my husband is far from a dead beat dad. He pays her a good chunk of $ in CS on time every single month, and covers all of SD's added expenses such as medical costs. According to the state calculator, he pays her more than what the state would require him to pay. She has walked out on SD numerous times, and basically doesn't support her child. If you factor in everything that my husband pays for, and time spent with the child, she has it MADE.

I am so sick of her berating my husband. Bringing me into arguments. Trying to tell ME that I'm not allowed to buy a new car with my own savings because it isn't "fair" or that we shouldn't have anymore kids. I have tried so hard to be nice to this woman. I love her daughter, very much, and I love my husband, so I try to keep the peace. I am cordial. But I am about to be done being cordial, because I have HAD IT! If she wants to be a bitch, fine, we will see her in court. I am not afraid of her. She is a dumb woman.


beachstepmom's picture

You are exactly right, it is

You are exactly right, it is all about the money and the control. Take her to court and in the mean time you need to be documenting everything that you can. Good luck!

Aster's picture

It's terrible, you are right

It's terrible, you are right she wants to control you guys and your life, through your money. My husband's ex knows we have more money than her and live a better life (my husband pays her all she should in child maintenance and more, even extras he shouldn't and that I'm sure she spends on herself) and that eats her inside so she wants to make our life miserable. It sounds like she just wants to make your life miserable too and get the most out of you, don't see why - you have the kid most of the time, you pay her what's legal and more, she says her husband earns more (so she doesn't need anything right? even if she did she can work!!) and she has the cheek to make comments on how YOU should live? amazing. I think it's all attention seeking and she would love to know you're worried and sick with all this... she just wants to create a mess. I would ignore her ranting and just get back to her with 'yes' and 'no' about things, even if through a lawyer. Also, remember you married your husband, not her - I don't deal with his ex, he does, and they barely talk because every time we tried to have a conversation with her and reason things would just get worse.
Believe me - the least you say and the more you ignore her (I know it's difficult if you take care of the child) the faster she'll get tired of this... what does her partner think of this I wonder? and her therapist? lol