In the most recent custody agreements I've seen in several states, visitation is no longer called "visitation" but called "parenting time" instead. I think this change was intended to facilitate a situation where the child does not feel like and is not treated like a "visitor" when spending time in the NCP's home, but rather like it is a second home. Unfortunately this also assumes that the NCP will actually "PARENT" during their "parenting time" rather than treating it like a sleep over.
Parenting typically includes discipline, & any NCP who doesn't agree with that just provided one if the likely reasons as to why they are the NCP and not the CP.
If NCPs would actually PARENT their children then I'm sure most SPs would be less resentful and more supportive. However, if NCPs treat their child like a "visitor", a GUEST that needs to be entertained, catered to, & treat as though they are somehow more "special" than the others who live in the home, well then don't be surprised if SPs wish to limit these SC "guest visits" to as few and far between as possible, as is typical with most other kinds of "guest visits".
Funny how ss feels that we
Funny how ss feels that we should cater to his needs. Refused to help even clear the dishes from the table and then reported to the GAL and BM that I was mean and made deal out of nothing, lied about helping and they believe him. Even when BF backed me up it did not seem to matter.
Until parents are encouraged and allowed to parent and until step parents who have been placed in positions of feeding clothing and supervising children will there be any changes made.
We need to start understanding that this attitude of do what ever makes you feel good crap, has harmful affects on families and children. Until we start holding adults responsible for poor choices that "our" children as a nation are only going to continue to be hurt. Will not matter what you call it Visitation or parenting time = the same thing.
I've heard BMs and the new
I've heard BMs and the new "daddies" (guys they re-married or live with) still keep pounding away that the NCP bio(usually)DAD has NO right to parent and that it should be a carnival like atmosphere for said "visiting" skid. They don't like the idea one bit of co or even parallel parenting with their ex. It's a power grab plain and simple on the part of CP bio (usually)MOM and her new sweetie. They want all the control over the child(ren) AND control over their ex's life and if SM is dragged along, all the better; more bang for the buck!!
They can change the terms all they want but UNTIL they change family court law to automatically grant 50/50 with no CS (aka cash prizes) changing hands and actually PUNISH bioparents for committing Parental Alienation, then not much will change at all. Oh and CPS should overlook frivolous "get back at my ex" calls usually on the part of CP bioMOM and investigate REAL child abuse!
The percentage of income that a man pays a BM in CS is inversely proportionate to the amount of real parenting performed by said BM
I agree that most CPs do not
I agree that most CPs do not want "parenting time"...they want "treat my child as the king/queen" and butt out of my parenting choices...
I actually agree here. As a
I actually agree here.
As a BM ALSO, there was no force in the known cosomos that would have prevented me from raising my now 19 year old the way I did. I did this all at a very young age while still at the university.
It is pops or ma's fault if they deny the chance to properly raise their kids. No excuse. If it "upsets" the CP, SO WHAT? PARENTS MUST BE JUST THAT, PARENTS.
These children must have structure. If you think not, just wait and look at the prison population in another 10 plus years or so.(you think it is bad now)
If my husband does disney
If my husband does disney time, I LEAVE. The kid needs to see what a normal life is like, not chunky cheeses.
If dad is "guilty", that's BS. He is just afraid of his children and his ex-wife/ hag, whatever.