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What do I do????

confused2585's picture

I am new to this...I was wondering if anyone has any advice for me...My boyfriend and me have been dating for 6 years (yes he has asked to marry me...but i just dont know)...He has 3 kids which all have different moms...I came into his life and he only was raising his daughter which was 5...In the six years we started are own business and had a kid which is almost 3 now (9/9)...I have been dealing with his daughter that is know eleven turning twelve on 9/9 too (yeah they were both born 9/9 and are 9 years apart)...I just dont know what to do...I have been raising her this whole time (her mom is a nut head and dont want her most of the time unless she want to sleep and have her watch her other 2 brother by a different father)her dad dont make her listen cant even get her up for school, the time i did it she had the counselors at school have the cops called for abuse...Her dad lets her get a way with slapping me in my face...if i tell her to clean her room she wont (wait anytime I tell her to do anything she wont) because her dad wont make her. It got really bad, he talks to me only when she is not home...the second she gets home it you wannna do this you wanna do that, BUT I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHAT THEY DO, they go somewhere he dont ask if I wanna go...I wouldnt want to go anyways because I cant stand her know more....She teaching my kid bad stuff like not listening to me...All he thinks is I am jealous of her and that not the case I am disgusted with her...she complains about her weight (11 and weighs 150...I am 25 and weigh 115) her and her dad will fill there faces with food at midnight and she know it drives me nuts, she will get in my purse,drink my last pop, do anyhting to make my kid cry and all of it she knows not to do...she writes papers saying she hates me and wants me gone, why cause she wants her mom and dad to get back together which I didnt not come between her mom already had another guy and was pregnant with the guys kids and they are still together, which the daughter dont like either....Now she got her dad believing she is afraid of me so he will not leave her at home with me, which in turn I cannot go to work with him...are life is statring to revolve around a 11 year old liar...should I leave and make my 2 year old miss her father or should I try to get it through to him want his daughter is doing... I am sick with stress will you please help??? Sorry this might be all over the place, but I just have to get it out thanks for reading

shouldIrun's picture

I agree with Stepberg. Leave your boyfriend. What you are in is not a healthy relationship. You need to think of your own child. He is not much of a father and his parenting skills are proof from what you have described.

Rags's picture

Let me get this straight. Your BF has 4 kids w/ 4 (3 plus your child) different mothers?????

He did not figure this out after the first kid?????????

And he lets his daughter slap you?????? What is worse is that YOU let his daughter slap you??????

Time to go lady. Go now, go fast and go far. And nail his idiot ass to the wall for as much CS as you can get because the only thing of value your child will ever get from this idiot is his money.

If you stay, get a video camera and record his daughter slapping you. Once you have that on tape drop the camera and beat the ever loving snot out of that kid then dial 911 and have her ass hauled off to juvenile hall never to return to any home you and your child inhabit again.

Just my opinion of course.

Good luck and best regards.

Insane's picture

Damn I feel your pain. My monster is now 19yrs old, no diploma,no driver license, no job and one daughter. I'll call him sperm donor not father

Insane's picture

Damn I feel your pain. My monster is now 19yrs old, no diploma,no driver license, no job and one daughter. I'll call him sperm donor not father

purpledaisies's picture

I have to agree with the others as much crap my ss14 does and the attitude has my dh would NEVER let him slap me :jawdrop: RUN NOW! If he can't step up and be a father and stop the abuse crap to you it is not worth it.

pat's picture

That is a very sad situation. I would leave asap and start a new life with someone that will treat you the way it should be. Good luck.

stepmasochist's picture

I don't think you really need anyone to tell you what you should do. Just re-read everything you just wrote. You knew before you even wrote it that you need to leave him. Maybe that's the hesitation you're feeling that's kept you from marrying him. After six years, don't you know you can't fix this? This girl is a product of bad parenting and you can't change that for her as long as she has BAD PARENTS.