Step Talk

I call myself LOW MAINTENANCE!! I don't get my hair done, I love baggy clothes, I hate lingerie, I don't paint my nails, I love football, I wear jeans most of the time and my footy jersey and baggy shirts are my favourite things!! Yet just on Easter break I had a manicure and a pedicure and my nails and feet look all girly!!

It was nice for a day but I quite happily sit here in an old beer shirt and a pair of sloppy pants writing this to you. My hubby is georgeous looking and I am sure people wonder why he is with me but he always says you cost me less...High maintenance is expensive!! LOL. My point is let her know it's ok to be who she is comfortable with being and who cares what her mum thinks. I agree with you that it is a crappy thing to say to her daughter but it would seem she has you to talk to...lucky for her!! No one has the right to confuse her while she is just growing into a woman and who she wants to be. DH should talk to BM and put a stop to this now.

Catch xx

I was one of the biggest tom boys when I was little. Now I enjoy having my hair and nails done and even lingerie but most days I am still a jeans and hoodie girl. Why wear heels when I can wear comfy sneakers. My h2b likes it when I dress up nice but also tells me how hot I look in my jeans and hoodie.

Let her be herself and how she is most comfortable. Don't let someone make her something she is not.

Crys

I am extremely high maintenance, I do it all, hair, nails, feet (and YES it is EXPENSIVE *laughs*.) but at the same time I can be extraordinarly UNGIRLY (belching, farting, etc...) AND I hate lingerie and high heels, they make my feet hurt. I wear jeans and a comfy T-shirt of some sort most days.

I am a girly-tomboy today. How's that for an oxymoron?!! LOL! I loved boy-things when I was a kid. But I am all woman today, let me tell you!

I agree with the ladies when they say it is important to let her be herself. Stifling a kid is terrible for their self esteem, and I am sorry her mother is behaving that way-I think that is terrible. Let them be who they are

Hugs,
Fearless

You have made me laugh twice this week!!! AFRO...Hahaha. Not laughing at your afro, just the way you say things. LMFAO!!

Thanks for the continuous smiles!!

Catch xx

I also feel "stupid" wearing that stuff. Just the whole idea of parading around in silky lingerie being "eye candy" for any guy annoys me. We accept guys with droopy drawers, bellies that hang over the pants and don't expect them to wear thongs...why should we be uncomfortable for them? However, I love looking good...but for me...not for them. Toes painted...nails not...Hair always done or in a pony, wearing jeans and tees! (Lipstick A Must!)

And, wornout, any mother who tells her child that should be expected to take parenting classes..How horrible. You handled it great.

My husband has taught my beloved little girl (4) how to fart and burp on command. So imagine, if you will, this gorgeous little blue-eyed thing with her tiara on, dangly earrings, necklaces, bracelets, frilly pink tutu, high-heeled dress-up shoes with her finger up her nose and passing gas with the best of them. Meanwhile, my son (9) would positively DIE if anyone ever thought he might have occasion to fart, let alone actually hear him do it. It would be the end of the world.

They are who they are, let 'em be. (At least, when not in public.)

~ Anne ~

Nothing can come of nothing.
(Shakespeare, King Lear)

Thanks everybody for your thoughts.
Here is a little more info too. My SD has lived with my for the last 9 years, and from what people say she is a lot like me, of course I see little things but I don't know about a lot. I think that gets on BM's nerves also.
My...character...style..(??)..is at both ends of the spectrum, I grew up in a very male dominated situation, so I like and do a lot of "masculine" activities, such as wood work, ranching and welding, but I am also a woman, and love to look beautiful and so on and so forth, for example my closet is full of shoes, but more than half are boots. LOL, and my SD is very much like that too. She's growing up with livestock around and loves to be around them, but wants to do it in a dress and tights.
So I see no problem with the way my SD is, and I told her that. She is just so consumed with what this maniac (BM) thinks it makes me crazy.
Again, thanks for all the comments.

That's all I can say about you. You sound like a wonderful woman, full of love and concern for your kids. (S's or not). I think your doing the right thing by letting her know that you accept and love her just as she is and that you see nothing wrong with it. My question would be for the BM, is she jealous that her daughter takes after you so much that she has to try to undermine her confidence? What a sad little woman that would do that to a child. Love all my kids.

Hey, sorry, I'm still coming out of shock from this weeks events.
Anyway, I have to agree with Cruella on this one. BM is throwing her image on to the poor kid.

You all make me laugh. The dress up lingerie thing. I love it. Don't get me wrong, most nights I wear just a tee shirt & shorts to bed and the guy is turned on by that. But to see BF's face when I 'don' something slinkly. He's like a horny teenager. To me it is so funny. He will actually bounce up and down on the couch like a 5 year old. Men are such idiots.

First off... it's BM projecting her own insecurities onto her daughter. Second, it's wonderful that she feels open enough to discuss this with you. Keep that communication open and let her feel comfortable to express how she wants to express herself. If she doesn't want to fuss with the girly stuff, then let her know she doesn't have to, and that by NO MEANS MAKES HER A BOY! That is appalling to me that a MOTHER would say that to her DAUGHTER.

I grew up a Tom boy. I hated dresses and bows in my hair. Now, I don't fuss with my hair, I don't fuss with my nails. I don't wear makeup everyday- only on special occasions or going out, and I do take care of myself. I like to pamper myself with bubble baths, perfume, and the occasional pedicure. I like having my nails done from time to time, but it's not necessary for me to feel like a woman. I feel like a woman simply because I am one.

StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...