When my bf went to work the other day I kept my SD with me instead of sending her back to her mom. Myself, her and my two kids went out to storytime at the library and MacDonalds and then I took her home in the afternoon. At the library the kids all made hats for St Patricks Day. The kids were happy, laughing, wearing their hats and then on the way to drop SD off she asked if I could pick her up the next day too. I said no that I had to work but her dad would get her on friday. Just before we pulled into her driveway she took off her hat and tore it to pieces and left it in the van when she got out. I don't claim to be a psychologist but I think she did that so that she wouldn't have to tell her mom she had fun. I find this very sad but it does explain why she lies to her mom about how horrible we are.
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That must have hurt?
Kids just don't take the NO thing well. In your head you had to work the following day in hers, you just said no to her. I am no psych either but don't take this incident on board. It's not your fault, it's just the way kids see things. How old is SD??
Owch
Sounds like she is young and acting out her frustration at what she might perceive as your rejection because you said "no" to the following day's visit.
There really appears to be a double edged sword when it comes to having lovely visits like you did because kids being kids want more and you are not always in a position to do it.
Don't beat yourself up about it. You haven't done anything wrong.
Realist
I think u should talk with her dad and then have dad
talk w/sd. There is an issue here that needs to be addressed before the child's anger comes out in other ways.
Funny, she can make u feel good one minute by asking if u could pick her up the next day and then 2 seconds later blow the whole day to shit!
Ahhhh, the steps.
I think
maybe she didn't want to go back to Bm's. Maybe she likes how things are when she is with you guys. Maybe she wishes she could be with you more and feels powerless. Tearing that up gave her some power.
That's my non professional opinion.
Dawn
She was lashing out because
She was lashing out because of her situation. You just happened to be the one to receive the collateral damage. She is not in a normal situation, at least compared to others her age. It was probably a way to vent for her. I would just let it go, and maybe relay to the BM how interested she was to attend the following day. Maybe BM will take her, or if it's not feasible at least she could look into other similar alternative activities.
Cheri~
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