You are here

Any ideas?

Mrs. December's picture

I need ideas for just pulling my own emotional plug and not letting it bug me every time BM does something ridiculous. I could list countless things that are childish, invasive, annoying, etc. Probably most of us have a list. I have gotten better over the years, yes, but sometimes I just want to scream and I know I have NO CONTROL over anyone's behaviors, but how do any of you just unplug that emotional, horrible urge to want to strangle somebody? I know that sounds terrible, but sometimes I just really, really want to SAY, WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM! STAY IN YOUR CORNER, WE'LL STAY IN OURS! ENOUGH!

Any thoughts on how to control that feeling better, it really sucks.

hereiam's picture

I'm pretty good at letting go now that a lot of years have gone by and SD is 24. BM's idiocy affects mostly herself, whatever man she's with, and SD. Although I get pissed at how she is convincing SD to live her life (working the system and depending on others), there is nothing I can do about it. It had just better not EVER affect my life or sanity again. If that bitch dies, leaving SD helpless....

In the good 'ol days, when SD was still a minor and CS was still in play (and possibly court), I drank. I drank and talked it out with DH or a friend.

Hindsight2020's picture

It's hard. I could never say anything to the BM or the SDs because it inevitably would make things worse for my DH..and he'd be the asshole, no matter WHAT the issue, and me the wicked stepmother. Ouch. So mainly I just smile & change the subject or walk away if we are in her presence and she's being what she always has been.

Rags's picture

Time to shift from giving her space in your head to barring her idiot ass any time she crawls out from under her slime covered rock and learn to enjoy smacking her with her own drama bullshit.

The key is to see it for what it is IMHO. That is pathetic manipulations of a toxic idiot with no life of her own.

Own her ass. Have fun!!! }:) Blum 3 :?

Mrs. December's picture

Thank you for suggestions, and very much for understanding. My current 2 things that make my skin crawl are SS9 plays football, DH coaches him with a couple other dads. Anyhow, games are once a week and clearly BM is there with her BF and SD13 (SD is with her cuz games happen to be on "her day" Well SS9 is such an entitled spoiled brat who thinks he is 21 and owns the world that he will generally throw a fit during the game, say he doesn't want to play and one of the coaches will tell him, fine sit on the bench then and stop complaining. My DH totally ignores the situation because he doesn't want to play into it. Now, BM will first send SD13 out of the stands to stand behind the bench rubbing SS's shoulders being all nice, like poor baby. Then a little while later if SS9 doesn't get up she send BF (who acts like he is SS9 father, which is a different story and makes me want to strangle him since he's only been around 4 months and BM and him have broken up twice during that time)BF will stand there with his hand on SS9 shoulder trying to get him all pepped up and to play. Finally, if that hasn't worked BM will go down and start rubbing his shoulders and babying him. I sit in the stands ready to smack all of them. I am there to support SS9 and DH, so yes I choose to go and do want to go. It's pretty fun watching little kids try to play football and some are pretty good. DH and I have also have been in the habit since day one of supporting each other and all the kids by going to events together. I don't want to stop that part of it.

Her other thing is of course, most BM's have done it, wiping DH off all contact info for the school, which we didn't realize for the first couple weeks, until BM starts texting him swearing about SS9 not doing his homework and how the teacher has been texting her to talk about it! OK, bullshit, the teacher uses a certain program where you see what your kid is doing, she doesn't text anyone. But....BM rants and raves in multiple texts about what a horrible dad DH is and of course DH didn't know homework wasn't done because every time he asked SS9 he got "No" or "I left it at school" or "I don't know" typical kid shit. So DH only responds to BM that it will be done when he is here from this point on. Well, we talked to the teacher as we know her, 2 kids in our house have had her and funny enough DH had her when she was a student teacher long ago. Well BM had told the teacher that she called my DH and they had a long talk about SS9 and she would keep checking with DH about the situation. Like they are fucking friends!! NOT!! I HATE THAT FAKE SHIT!! It drives me up a wall. The show she puts on is friggin ridiculous!!! Another 'MOTHER OF THE YEAR', right. I know that was long winded, point being what bothers me is her putting the idea of her and DH being buddies out there and them being this little "family" when the truth is she's texting him and acting like a total bitch and they do not communicate whatsoever. DH always has direct communication with school for both SD13 and SS9, nothing to do with BM.

OK, I can breathe now for a minute. Sorry such a rant.