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What does this mean

Suemm44's picture

Well, BM says to dh that I am a stranger. That she's in the right sending DH emails : itemized how he's a piece of crap. What he needs to do in order. Down to apologies to BD for putting her straight for treating me like shit. For treating him like crap , even at her graduation . Not telling her feeble grandfather who can barely walk there was a quiet sit down breakfast. Which of been perfect. He couldn't attend her graduation because he needed a wheel chair to do it. But BM hates him so he didn't matter. He put money in an envelope with hand written name on it. Well, anyways... Everything is do crazy with them.
I didn't go bc I wasn't invited. So DH went and refused to have any pics taken bc they end up on the Internet with a lie attached every time.
Sorry got off track....
He says do not email me about your feelings which she does.
So, he tells her that he's going to forward me all the messages. That's, when she says : I'm the mother of your children, she's just a stranger.
What does she mean by that ??
He pays for his adult children's car and insurance. Plus, everyone drives it. He's a slave to them. SD23 SS19.
They never come see him and they have a free ride.

Finally BM house is closed. No more demands for money. Which she's been begging since March !!

I can't wait for her to mind her own business and take some kind of financial responsibility of some kind.

I have a feeling this problem will continue but for how long ??????
Sad

Aeron's picture

For as long as your DH allows it.

His kids are adults. He needs to tell them that he will only deal with them directly, send BM an email of the same and then block her. Stop reading the crap she sends, stop answering her calls. Just stop. His kids are adults, there is no reason to interact with her at all, much less try to bring you into it.

The financial requests will continue for as long as DH responds. He gives money to adults, so why wouldn't they keep asking?

hereiam's picture

Why is your DH paying for cars and insurance for his adult children?

There is no reason for him to interact with BM anymore, he should just ignore her and so should you.

She's the mother of his children, so what? They are grown and don't need her to be their mouthpiece. Just because you didn't push out his children, you are a stranger? She is just trying to minimize your place in his life.

She is an idiot and has Golden Uterus Syndrome. Millions of women have kids, she is not that special. It does not take a special relationship, a special love, a special bond, or a special sexual position.

My DH has not spoken to BM since SD24 got married when she was 18 and was emancipated from child support. I take that back, she called once (just to test it) and he told her, "I have nothing to say to you." Click.

She has not not called, emailed (not that she knows his email), sent flares or smoke signals since. It's been heaven.

BM may be SD's mother but she is NOTHING to DH.

Rags's picture

It means that your DH needs to put his foot up BM's ass and quit giving her the time of day. Drop the auto insurance for the adult Skid's cars, and let BM and the prior relationship spawn wallow in their own toxic shallow and polluted gene pool without subsidy from you and DH.

At least that is what I would say it means.

He should share all of her psychotic drivel with you so you can both laugh your asses off about it over a good bottle of wine.

Enjoy!!! }:)

Suemm44's picture

Thank you all.
I think the golden uterus, as mentioned is what is going on.
Finally, after that convo. He conveyed that BM is trying to have a secret relationship with him.
I'm sure her drama will continue.
And I'm sure the AC will continue to beg for money.
It's sure hard for me. Some days it's an eye roll or other days I'm pissed. Idk...

ldvilen's picture

Like someone said in an earlier forum, and I wholeheartedly agree, it stops when you say NO. And, it is that simple. I almost think when SKs become adults, the burden shifts, and at that point it is up to them to have a relationship with BD and stepmom (or just BD, if they choose). At that point, BD and SM have generally done their best, and the SKs are adults and free to choose. AND, unfortunately, there is only so much you can do with a BM who thinks it is fun, enjoyable to continue to poison the well and pull everyone's strings. Keep your distance, stay cordial on the side, and, yes, you may have to wait years to see if the SKs finally get it. If not, then that is their choice and you and your husband take care of yourselves and yours. (This is more of an aside, but re: the insurance, I would definitely cut that off [oops!, just saw it was in divorce papers--cut off what you can]. The SKs are what they are at this point, and now that they are adults, nothing should be given to them if no gratitude is shown, and that is not only for SM or BD, that is for EVERY type of parent out there.)

Suemm44's picture

Yes. At first we were both at first really pissed at both of his BC. Now, after we see them being manipulated by BM , even though they are adults we understand she might have that power. But, we now see the BC could and will have to stand up to BM.
But BM is still writing emails utn. It has stopped. I don't know for how long.
BM. Is hoping DH comes back. She's tried to get him to even go to counseling. But saying if anything for the kids. Why ? Because she said she doesn't want him to be married to someone she doesn't approve of. Yeah, that made me madder then a hornet !!
BM did tell him that.
His BC also have been doing that running back to mom thing. I guess I heard they don't like me even though I've done a lot of things with them. That stopped because I thought everything was fine. Hmm. Their BM told me that.
Then in the meantime SD went on social media and looked at my BD's pages. I am embarrassed at my my daughters choices and posts.
So, what really hurt me was his BD met with BDad and preceded to tell dad how my daughters basically are white trash. That didn't go over very well with him. None the less , yep. I was hurt. And once again embarrassed .

So, now when this house is sold I told him the ex's emails should be blocked for good.
I feel if his children can't pick up the phone and have to go through BM apron strings something manipulated situation is going on