so very hurt
Looks like counseling is going to be a total fail!!!!! Went twice dh was told to tell madam x only one call a week. he agreed at the session then backed out saying the councilor put words in his mouth. Very long story of fighting later he did tell her no more it lasted for three weeks she is however back to calling often. The second session when he reported that he did tell her and that he thinks I need to be okay with it the councilor looks at him and says last time I checked paligamy is against the law and one of the three of you is contesting it. It pretty much shut him up and when we left he tells me he is not going back. I'm so hurt, frustrated, and confused. How can he possibly love me and still be this connected to another woman?
Is it worth leaving if you have to share a 9 month old or do I just find some way to coexist there?
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No way, you do NOT have to
No way, you do NOT have to find a way to coexist with their enmeshment! Continue to see the counselor on your own, given she will have a very good idea of what you're dealing with re/ your DH. What you can learn; what are YOUR boundaries, how can you assert them respectfully and how to be confident about what you deserve in your relationship.
Is he calling her or is she
Is he calling her or is she calling him? If she is calling him, all he needs to do is not reply. He can reply once a week. If he refuses to do this, then it seems he would rather keep her happy and you mad.
I agree - keeping seeing the therapist for yourself.
Absolutely keep seeing the
Absolutely keep seeing the therapist for yourself. You will make it clear to your DH that you are working on your own strength and confidence and that things as they are now are just not ok. You don't have to decide right now whether to stay in the relationship or go. But you do need to know what your own boundaries are.
I believe they would. He now
I believe they would. He now hides when she calls but she was calling more often for things beyond the kids like her car breaking down or her families problems. He says he is tired of it and threaten with divorce when I make an issue of it but then turns around and says he does not want a divorce. I yearn to move back into my home so much but the thought sharing my baby even just every other weekend is scary. How do mothers cope with that? I don't want to loose any time with him
I went back to the councilor
I went back to the councilor by myself last week he says I need to learn to not care about them to live my life and be happy. He has recommend me to a different lady I will be going to see. She is calling but he says he doesn't mind that she calls that I need to grow up and be okay with it.
He's basically having an
He's basically having an affair. It's not a physical affair but an emotional affair. He is being unfaithful to you by giving another woman his emotional love and support. He is taking time and energy that should be spent and giving it to her instead.
I never thought I would of
I never thought I would of lasted this long in a relationship like this either. I was the type that left guys for stupid little things. swore I would never put up with anything less than what I thought I deserved. And now here I am trying to be okay with shit I'm not all because I'm the dumb ass that got herself pregnant by a man that thinks its okay for his ex wife to call multiple times a week!!! I look at my son and just start crying I hate being married to a man and feeling cheated on but sharing a child I can't stand that idea even worse. I can't even look at his ex with out my blood boiling and feeling hatred build up. I've never felt this much hate towards someone I always thought I could get along with anyone man was I wrong. She is just evil and he is so blind he can't see it. He's even mad at his family because of but its not her its them. How can you make excuses for someone that treats you bad even accuses you of rapping them.
He wont mind a set of divorce papers told me he would empty out some more of his bank account for another ex wife. Last week was two phone calls a few text messages and Saturday she called before picking the boys up to tell him they needed to talk so he went outside and talked to her for a while. That is why to much as far as I'm concerned.