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Another vent

Newimprvmodel's picture

Dh continues to call one of his daughters. The same one who did not invite him to her college graduation, yet she was happy to tell him WHO she DID invite. He was the one who only paid 40 k for her tuition.
No calls in the past year. No calls on Father's Day, nor his birthday, which was last week.
He calls like once a month. They chitchat about her, and he chides her to call him when they hang up. Have not seen her in a few years.
So the family friends she stayed with abroad the past year will be in the states, and they posted on DH's FB page that they want to see HIM. I really have only met them once. They are huge fans of his daughter and dh never shared with them the estrangement.
Sooooo, as soon as I saw this I knew problems ahead. I have my own business and work many hours with clients booked. Dh is insisting that I cancel rearrange my work so that I see them with him. He is already angry with me that I am not overjoyed to see them as I imagine they will share memories of last year with dh, who will remain silent. Biting my tongue is not one of my strengths so I will be tempted to let them know exactly who his daughter is, or better yet, not.
I just don't understand why DH feels he can't meet with them alone. I am the opposite. I do many things on my own, he tends to lack the ability, and maybe that is how most men are.
Honestly, if I had the time I would meet with them.
And finally, dh needs to stop the phone calls to someone who just does not care. Call her once a year at the holidays, but let it go. Thanks for listening.

Newimprvmodel's picture

Well jaspercat, I have met them. Honestly, this is my busy season and I am working 50 or more hours a week. They are here during a weekday and I have clients scheduled until 8 pm. As I said, it will be a love fest about his daughter and I think dh can reminisce about her without me there.lol.

SugarSpice's picture

in time dh will learn but somehow men lose their testicles with their children. in my case dh was punished when dh did not buy what sd wanted. ignored his calls for eight months. it was painful to watch him call and leave whiny needed messages on the cell phone he bought for her: hey, hello sweetie, its dad. give me a call when you call. i miss you and love you and think about you all the time.

Newimprvmodel's picture

Oh yes sugar spice you know it well. And that behavior just makes The girls behavior worse.
Look, if they cared at all they would reach out.......either they will or won't, but chasing serves no purpose.

Merry's picture

He wants you to potentially lose income and clients for an SD lovefest? That's nuts. DH can be as mad as he wants to be, but I would not back down. If you can meet with them after work, great. Otherwise, he can meet with his friends alone. He's a big boy and can leave the house by himself, can't he? Maybe you can check to make sure his shoes are tied and fly zipped first.

It's nice that DH wants you there. That he NEEDS you there is pathetic though.

I would waste zero energy worrying about his phone calls to SD. Either he'll get tired of getting hurt, or she will in time come to value her father, or the chase will continue in the same pattern as it has. Most likely the last of those, which is really sad for both of them.

My DH is still chasing his son. It's painful to watch. Not a damn thing I can (or will) do.

notasm3's picture

Offer breakfast (not at home) at 6 am as that's the only time you are not booked. People do that for business all the time.

Bet they won't take you up on it.