I need advice on how to handle this. My SD 24 & I have been getting along pretty well the last couple of years until recently. She's always been a bit of a flake but I've tried to understand & help her as her BM is non existent in her life. I've been her SM since she was 11.

Our current issue is mine really. About a month ago she broke up with her BF (27) of almost a year. He appears to have a drinking problem from what she has told her father & I. He was arrested for drunk driving a few months ago which she only told us about after the break up. They were beginning to have regular arguments while he was drinking due to his behavior. He can't/ won't discuss his feelings or deal with issues in his life unless he's had some drinks. So they got into an argument because he was being unreasonable again while drinking. She was okay at first with her decision but he kept coming to her work (she's a server at a restaurant) and drinking and hanging out trying to get her attention. This started to wear her down & she thought she had made a mistake. During this time I of course was where she turned for comfort & advice. She'd call me crying, come over crying on my shoulder & I was there for her in every way I could be. She found out he'd slept with a girl he picked up a couple of days after the break up & once again turned to me for support.

My first marriage was to an alcoholic so I advised her to run. You can't save him or change him he has to do that for himself blah, blah, blah. You can guess what she did. She's back with him. I am so absolutely pissed at her for this I can hardly see straight. She won't come right out & admit it but brings him up to me like how he "saved" her when her car broke down & how she just can't give up on him when he needs her (barf.)

Today was the real pisser when she was supposed to be at my house by 11am to go to my son & his fiancé's wedding shower, she's one of the bridesmaids. We had to be on the road by noon & I told her to bring her gifts & use my wrapping paper to save a few bucks. Well at 11:40 she calls me in a panic. She didn't hear her alarm & just woke up. I asked her if she was home (she lives with my other son as one of his room mates) about 15 minutes away. Nope she's at the BF's condo which is 45 minutes away. Well then sorry I can't wait that long so she'll have to drive herself the additional 40 min drive to the city the shower is being held at. She get mad at ME & starts bitching. I shut that down & told her that I'm not the one being irresponsible, that would be her. I left the wrapping paper out where she could still use it & left for the shower.

She shows up eventually, shower proceeds without incident. My issue is this jack ass she's back with. My son's wedding is in 6 weeks & it's quite likely that she's going to bring drunky to the wedding. I do not suffer fools very well, especially drunk ones. I haven't come right out & asked but it's pretty obvious to me that they're back together. DH is his typical self, she's a princess & walks on water & he caves to whatever she has ever wanted. I know I have zero control over her, she is an adult at least in legal terms even if her behavior is not. I am just so disappointed in her for going back to him. I shared a lot of the issues I had with my first marriage with her & so don't want to see her do through that. It all fell on deaf ears I guess. How do I handle this going forward? I fear we are headed for a big argument because I will not be there the next time to pick up the pieces when he messes up.