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just thinking Im done

Katie8's picture

okay...I am so angry...had a full panic attack yesterday because I got so worked up about it.

DH has been doing little things I find odd. We got into a huge fight a few weeks back about him not telling me what's going on. if plans change..he should call and tell me...communicate. tell me what's going on in his life..even if it's about SS and his family who hate me...that's bieng in a relationship.

So...Friday night we are tucking our 2 year old into bed and told him Mom and Dad are taking him to the beach on Saturday because all the other kids are away this weekend. (my 3 kids are with thier dad and SS8 it was his Mom's weekend).
Which brings us to Saturday"
DH worked until 11AM...then I guess he got a call to drive SS8 to his Mom's but she was visiting at DH's brothers house so he brought him there...didn't call to tell me this....so he calls me at 1pm..2 hours after he got off work and told me he's helping his brother with some house stuff. I'm pissed he waited 2 hours and we promised our son the beach. He did not get home until 5:30. I left with my son and went out for dinner and the minions before he got home...we got home at 7pm...he left at 6pm and went to his Moms' to go swimming with SS8...came home at 9pm...as I'm putting our son to bed...he hasn't seen him all day...and broke his word to him.

I am so tired of bieng a last priority in his life...and him not having any consideration for us at all.

notasm3's picture

He's avoiding you on purpose. We see SMs who do this all the time when they're done with their spouse.

Start making some plans for your future.

Katie8's picture

I tried talking to him this am...I was told to fxxxx off....he thinks I'm mad because he helped his family ....not for not calling and breaking plans with us

Rags's picture

Call your attorney and file for divorce and custody. Call the locksmith and rekey the locks. This asshole needs to be your CS bitch for another 20ish or so years. Get your son as far from the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool as soon as you can and protect him in any way you can legally.

I have zero tolerance for men who tell their wife to fuck off. He is the one that can fuck off.

Make it happen.

IMHO of course.

Take care of yourself and your child as you put this asshole and his entire shallow gene pool in your rear view mirror. Set the example of a confident and caring parent to your son and he can overcome the toxic genes contributed by his father.

ChiefGrownup's picture

1. He spent BM's kid weekend....with his kid? At his family's house? As in his ex-wife's former in-laws?

2. He told you to "eff off?"

To me, there is little hope for this marriage. Echoing what notasm says. Putting it in black and white for you. Talking to you like that is well below the minimum standard for spousal behavior. Spending the weekend away from not only you but also his toddler with you so he can spend it with his older child and other relatives --WITH BM PROBABLY HOVERING AROUND SINCE IT WAS HER WEEKEND--is a screaming nuclear missile aimed right at your marriage.

I doubt his relatives were involved much more than providing a cover story. He spent the weekend with BM and his "real" son.

Repeating notasm's advice in big red letters: Start making your own plans.

furkidsforme's picture

The whole "he thinks your mad that he saw his FAMILY" is just a gaslighting ploy to distract you from the real issue, which is he doesn't give a shit about you or his promises to you, and he doesn't want to spend time with you.

Katie8's picture

Here's the new thing...so DH pays child support to BM for his son and his step son (who we never see). his step son just graduated high school...turned 18 and is not going to college/post...so yay..good buy part of his child support payment...HOWEVER. BM won't sign the change and DH won't get big enough balls to enforce so here we are still paying for july / august.. I told him the payment in august better have the change on it...I am not giving her that extra cash. He doesn't pay much into our home... So to have the extra 300/month coming in to help would be huge.