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BM is putting SD13 in harms way and my SO feels hopeless!!

Tabitha255's picture

Submitted by Tabitha255 on Fri, 07/31/2015 - 8:33pm

Sad well my last blogs explains what is going on with BM.. She put SD13 in bed with her and her new boyfriend!! My SO said he just wants to cry because no matter what he say to BM nothing will change. I told him he needed to get social services involved. A 13 year old girl should NOT be in bed with a grown man!! BM just met the new boyfriend Memorial Weekend! We have had SD13, so the new boyfriend hasn't even been around Sd!!. So BM thinks it's ok for them to sleep in the same bed! BM should know better but she only keeps SD to get the child support check and the welfare. I am so pissed off at BM and my SO!. I don't understand why he will not say anything to her. He said he just feels hopeless!.. I just don't know wha else to do besides calling child protective services. it's not just the new boyfriend, it has me worried about all the men BM has lived with. I know that when it's just SD and BM they sleep in the same bed.. So all I can think is has she let all of these men in bed with her daughter?!?!?!!! I am concerned about the safety and well being of SD at BMs house! Help me!!!!!!!!!

Comments

ChiefGrownup's picture

Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Fri, 07/31/2015 - 10:11pm

I'm not one to advocate calling the police every time BM sneezes but I think I would do it on this one. Just call up and say my 13 year old daughter tells me she is being put in bed with her mother and the mother's boyfriend. As in all night. I want both adults investigated.

Let the police tell you the answer. My guess is they will want to investigate, too.

Tabitha255's picture

Submitted by Tabitha255 on Fri, 07/31/2015 - 11:02pm

I keep thinking the worst also... This isn't the first man BM met and moved in within a few weeks! About two years ago she met a guy online and moved in with him!.. The past few years it's been man after man after man.. So that is my big concern that something may have happened to SD... It would explain why she is so clingy with SO.. She can be clingy to the only parent that is concerned about her safety.. This is sooo stressful!.. When I was single my kids never met anyone I was dating! The men I dated didn't even know where I lived because my children's safety was my first goal... So BM just letting this b sleep in bed with her 13 year old is just f**king crazy!!!!!!

MidwestStepmom's picture

Submitted by MidwestStepmom on Fri, 07/31/2015 - 9:40pm

Someone needs to do something for this 13 year old girl before something happens to her. Who cares who it will piss off or insult, just report it!

Tabitha255's picture

Submitted by Tabitha255 on Fri, 07/31/2015 - 10:55pm

Thanks everyone... I have been around SD since she was born so I do care about her and her safety... Well in this situation it wouldn't matter if I had just met her, I would be just as concerned.. So and I were best friends for 12 years before we finally started dating.. I don't know why he feels helpless..
I told him that his daughter needed to be protected and he was the only one that can step in and put his foot down and he has every right too!.... My brother in law is a police officer and I will go see him tomorrow and see what can be done.. What type of mother just thinks it's ok for their teenage daughter to sleep in the bed with a man she just met..well any grown man for that matter! Some peoples level of stupidity is just shocking!!!!!

steplife's picture

Submitted by steplife on Sat, 08/01/2015 - 12:02am

This continuously happens with my SD7 at her mom's house. When DH told authorities about it they told us that if BM co-sleeps at her house that's her own lifestyle choice and that it didn't matter if there was a man in the bed with them or not. Since its in the presence of BM it's up to her to make sure nothing inappropriate is going on (umm ok but what about when BM isn't around) basically they said they wouldn't do anything UNTIL SD says something bad happened.

Tabitha255's picture

Submitted by Tabitha255 on Sat, 08/01/2015 - 3:04am

Wow!!! They know that children rarely tell if something has happened to them!! And I know this to be true because I was molested by a family member and no one knew until I was in my twenties.. ( I was pregnant and the day I found out it was a girl, I went to this family members house with my loaded Glock and explained to him that I had forgiven him and that I knew now that it wasn't my sin or guilt to carry around, that he would answer to it on Judgement day, not me... But that I hadn't forgot and if he was to ever come near my daughter the next time he was see my gun I would be sending him to met God..).. Well if the police can't do anything what about child protective services.. I have se family that works at DSS.. I will see if they can personal cal anyone in the child protection side before I go up there to see what can be done.. I know that every one has to have their on bed and SD does.. But I am just praying at this point they think like we do and it's a very unsafe position to put a child in... I pray something can be done! What is wrong with these women thinking it's ok for their children to sleep in a bed with grown man they barely know!!!

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Submitted by notsurehowtodeal on Sat, 08/01/2015 - 3:40am

I think it is worth a call to both CPS and the police.

Has your DH thought about a "man to man" talk with the boyfriend? I don't see much point in talking to BM - obviously she thinks it is ok. My DH can be as non-confrontational as other DH's here - but I asked him about this situation and he said he would confront the boyfriend and inform him in no uncertain terms what would happen to him if he kept sleeping with DH's daughter. I realize there are certainly pros and cons to this approach...

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sat, 08/01/2015 - 7:32am

Another option is for dad to buy a twin bed. Of course he shouldn't have to do that
But if mom is using that as a reason for this foolishness, then dad should remove the excuse

Tabitha255's picture

Submitted by Tabitha255 on Sun, 08/02/2015 - 5:50am

We bought her a bedroom suite for BMs house last year.. We just bought her new linens for BMs house last week... So we know she has a bed!

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sun, 08/02/2015 - 7:21am

So why isn't she sleeping in her room? She's 13 not 3.

Is mom MAKING her sleep in her bed or is the kid just plopping down in her bed and mom is allowing it to happen?

Regardless of how it occurs, it's time for dad to man up and go talk to the boyfriend. If he does it the correct way, the BF will put an end to this. Most men aren't willing to deal with a father who makes it clear that he will do anything to protect his little girl.

Tabitha255's picture

Submitted by Tabitha255 on Sat, 08/01/2015 - 8:06am

I don't care if I piss of BM or SO or anyone else.. I am doing this to
Protect SD.... She is the main concern!