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SD30 thinks it's a competition with other stepgrandkids

dadswife's picture

OK so July has been a busy month. Our anniversary, 3 grandkids birthdays, my husband's birthday. I took SGD14 to get a professional manicure and bought her some cute clothes...after a length of time of not going around any of them much. Next thing you know SD30 takes SGD13 home with her out of town...along with BM. All of a sudden SD#) takes an interest in SGD13 and cuts and does her hair. SD30 is a cosmetologist. But has never shown an interest except when she wants these two to help watch her kids.
See I'm not the real grandmother and anything I do I guess makes them BOTHERED. Maybe because BM doesn't do anything.

Then I get great gifts for SGS10 and SGD13 for their birthdays....they are brother and sister. I gave SGD13 a cute sparkly manicure myself. I'm guessing the manicures bug the crap out of SD30 because she does that for a living.
We took SGS10 and his friend to movies to see Minions. And also took both SGkids to see Inside Out.
Well now SD30 is back in town, just found out.
DH said she is taking both step grandkids to movies. Knowing we'd seen both kids movies that were out with THEM...I said to see what? Minions.
In 5 years she has never taken them to the movies or done anything for them except use them to help watch her kids.
DH says well she lives out of town and she just wants to spend some time with her nieces and nephews.
Since when. Why does it only happen when I start spending time with them and doing things for them?
I don't know why this bothers me. I guess because every time I do something, she tries to compete. It's not a competition. And I don't care of she wants to do things for them/with them. It's her timing. I see through it.
She wants to be the favorite young hip aunt, and I am way younger than BM and I do cool fun things with them and they've loved it, they tell me so...and I think it bothers SD30. Why can't she just act normal and not try to compete. What does it hurt if I do things with these kids??
The only reason I know she is here is she came to her sisters across the street, and I looked out window and saw her just as DH got home from work and it's her kids I am referring to. Funny how she shows up over there just as he gets home too.
Not having a good week. I lost my job of 23 years. I am NOT dealing with this girl. If he wants to see her, he better go see her else where. She is apparently going to be in town a few days. BTW, she's doing all DH's sister's hair. Great bonding opportunity to make sure they know I have nothing to do with her and her kids. RA happening in this family.

dadswife's picture

Forgot to mention on 4th we had grandkids over for cookout and fireworks. I guess "sparks of jealousy" are still in the air

Andie91801's picture

I'm sorry about your job. One door closes another will open. Stay positive

You should pour yourself a glass of wine, put your feet up and laugh about a whole thing because obviously it bothered the heck out of her that she has to go out of her way to show ppl that she does everything better than you. Don't waste your time to think about those fake-relationship. Just do whatever make you feel good and screw them.

Best of luck.

A.

Rags's picture

Keep doing what you want to do with your GSkids. Let SD-30 wallow in her idiocy and don't sweat it. As for your job .... get your resume polished up and get back out there. There is a bunch of work for professionals. You will find a good fit. Be confident and give it time.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

You sound like an awesome grandmother and I bet the kiddos are bragging about their fun experiences and that she just can't stand it!

notsobad's picture

Sorry about the job loss. I just got laid off too. I'm actually enjoying my summer of freedom!

How lucky are those kids to have you in their lives!? They get to do tons of fun things and because it makes their aunt jealous they get to do stuff with her too.

Kids aren't stupid, they'll see what she's doing and most likely play on it. And hey, why not? I'm a child of divorce, as are my kids and the one up side is all the attention because the adults feel guilty or are trying to out do each other.
Don't play her games. Keep doing what you're doing and enjoy the time spent with the grandkids.

dadswife's picture

I should be able to get unemployment and so will be able to take some time off and then I have no idea from there. Scary.

dadswife's picture

thanks ladies. DH said tonight he was going to his moms to see SD30, in from out of town, and when I didnt say anything....he asked me why my attitude all the sudden changed when he mentioned it! I replied I was already in a bad mood before he got home, and I was, over my job.
But I had to ask, but tell me why do you have to have a favorite child? He denied it and said it was a lie.
whatever. There are 4 girls, 3 live here and he never sees them but when she comes to town, here we go!
He then said she keeps asking to come by so if I have an issue with him going to see her, she'd come here. I said no she won't. I don't want her here, I am dealing with enough and Im not putting up with her. So I know she keeps asking to come over, to make me look bad. Again, whatever. Sad

dadswife's picture

Ughhh DH rushed home from work to meet a contractor who never showed up. He went to farm and found a sick calf just as it started storming, he got it up to barn and treated it, came home. One already died this week. I THOUGHT he might stay home since it's 8:30 here now and after al the frustrations, but nope...he showered and said he'd be back. Gone to see his favorite daughter. My car needs work and we were supposed to drop it off today but he didnt have time because of contractor who never showed and he just asked me, if I'd be ready to take my car when he got back from seeing his daughter? Uh NO. It's storming. I have a mammogram scheduled for tomorrow early along with another appointment and I am not driving 30 minutes to drop my car off at 10 pm.
I told him as he was leaving to not make any excuses for me. (she will ask where am I?)
He said he wasn't going to mention my name. I said well she will. She will ASK to make a point with your family. I said if she does, tell her I am home worried about a mammogram. They don't know about my job loss yet. Going to avoid that for as long as possible.