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Really? WTF?

grace8205's picture

Un-f@$king believable.
My husband on Friday told me he is going to sell his mustang to his son on credit on a discounted rate. I totally disagreed with him. Anytime he lent skid money he has never paid it back. So now he is going to give him a second mustang? Are you F-ing serious?
When me and DH married August 30th of last year, he hid $30K worth of debt from me, I found out and he said he would have it paid off in a year. It is near the end of July the debt is $45K, partly because we went to an auction and bought a second corevette. He likes to tell everyone it is his, however we bought it together, I already owned a newer vette before his time and his has always been jealous that I own a vette and he has a mustang.

Skid and his GF came by today and DH apparently told him he can have the other mustang if he sells the one that was given to him by DH and gives over the cash and that Is it. Also he let skid drive the vette, when I talked to him before about that, since it is my insurance on it. He said he will only let him drive it with him in the car. So what does he do today? Gives skid the keys, and opens the passenger door for GF
and sends them on their way.

I am so livid. I manged to get skid a $2400 tax return instead of the $1200 that is a standard return on the deal that skid starts paying his own car insurance but that never happens, and now this. Well f@4K DH,

He gives thousands of dollars over to his kid each year, if I buy my kid who just graduated high school a bus pass in July I am questioned.

At one time he pointed out that he made twice as much money as me however I have bought more of this house than him which he seems to overlook, I own 87% and he 13%, I have savings of $25K and RRSP of $168K and he has $45K in debit. Really?? WTF! I am so flipping mad!!

misSTEP's picture

Poor guy only having a MUSTANG while you drive a vette. I think my eyes might roll right out of my head.

Of COURSE he will put himself into more debt for a different car. Obviously, this guy is shallow and all about appearances. Which means that, just like you fear, the skid will not make payments. It is told you to that he will for "appearances."

Rags's picture

Time to take the Vette and lock it up while giving DH the message that YOUR asset will not be put at risk by allowing an uninsured driver to use it and until DH clears his debt he better think before he gives up his only free and clear form of transportation (The Mustang).

If DH can't self motivate to deliver on his commitment then you will need to grab him by the short and curlies, tug firmly, and give him clarity.

I would were I in your situation with my SO.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Perhaps you should suggest to your DH that he sell the car to the SS for value, which is probably less than SS could buy it at a dealership, but more than your DH seems to want to charge him.

I am against giving children, even my DD, freebies on things such as this. IMHO it is their life to either make it or break it. The school of hard knocks can do wonder for some of them.

Even when DD was younger, I had my will so that she couldn't touch anything until she was older and no longer wet behind the ears. Any one hear the latest story about the girl in college who is now suing her parents because she went through her $90,000 college fund in three years and now doesn't have the money to finish? She is suing her parents claiming they didn't teach her how to budget and handle money! There you go....what more can one say.

grace8205's picture

DH said he will sell it, to his son, however it will not be full market value. My DH has already given skid a different mustang 2 years ago. But this one is nicer. The deal was originally that if he was to by the corvette at the auction he was to sell his mustang at market value so that his debit does not go higher, it would be the same, just he would have a vette and not a mustang. DH has always wanted a corvette, and has been jealous from day one that I have my own corvette, I had it before I even met him, I paid cash for mine and it is much newer and nicer.

Anyways the night I posted that we talked and he told me he was going to sell his mustang to skid for $10,000.00 ($5,000.00 under market value), which I was not happy with, and I asked him where is skid going to get the money. DH told me that skid will sell the mustang that he got 2 years ago and has $3,000.00 in savings, so there would be no payments. I told him that he needs to stop with the guilty parent syndrome, I am not going to put up the B.S. anymore, especially since I can't even by my high school kid a bus pass or shoes without him making a comment. I thought he understood, but I have a feeling he didn't. I guess I will find out tonight, since skid wanted to stop by our house tonight and talk to DH, however DH did not want him to come over asked if they could meet for dinner at a restaurant. DH never mentioned it to me, I overheard it. I am not sure when he was going to tell me about their dinner date, I told DH I was going to make one of his favorites tonight and he then told me that they were going out to "chat". I asked if it is a father-son dinner, he said yes. If is skid, his GF and DH, then I will be pissed because it is everyone but me and everyone knows what's going on but me.

sandye21's picture

Are you paying for any of this? If the money is coming out of your pocket, stop contributing now. Then separate your funds. Good luck.

grace8205's picture

we have our accounts together, except my savings which was pre-marital funds. He has no savings before or after marriage. So I would be helping ensure that the debt is paid, the only reason he can pay those kind of payments because of my pay cheque paying half for the house hold expenses and because I put so much money into the house the the mortgage is lower.

In my province I could be responsible for half his debt if we were to split. Good thing I recorded his debt the day before marriage (and he hid that from me too). But anything after I could be on the hook for.

Merry's picture

Yep. No freebies. That is not the pattern in DH's family though. DH's dad bought DH several cars, and DH wants to do the same for SS. But never apparently bought a car for SD, who is quite self sufficient and successful. Huh, any coincidence there? So a year or so ago DH gave SS his car, and bought a new one for himself. Car payment was NOT in our budget and we are carrying major credit card debt. AND he still pays for SS car insurance too. (SS is 30 frickin years old.)

Last time DH saw SS he had a new tattoo running across his back and down one arm. I think next time I see SS I will remark positively on it as a demonstration of his financial self sufficiency, then ask for the name of his insurance agent so I can have our agent get the insurance change going. Because SURELY SS wants to take care of his own business at this point in his life.

stepmomdavis's picture

I feel for you. It really hurts when decisions that should be made jointly are unilaterally made by ones DH. Mine does the same thing. Loaned his son 2,000 dollars and we have not seen a penny of it. Yet, he eats out at restaurants everyday!

When I buy food for my son or shoes I get the third degree. Needs to know what I bought. I could spend 40 bucks and I help accountable but he can loan his kids our cars, our money and pay for expensive dinners and I am not allowed to say anything.
I like the idea of putting it all on paper. Let him see it in black and white.

notsobad's picture

Putting it all on a spreadsheet is a good idea but be prepared for it to backfire on you.

Most people don't like seeing their mistake in black and white. You may get crap for rubbing his nose in it. An angry reaction takes the blame off him and puts it on you.
What kind of a person does that? Points out faults like that? I thought we were a couple, in this together? Who cares who's paying for what? Stuff like that.

Just be prepared that he might not look at it and start apologizing.