I have been in a second marriage and my step son is a get
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Hi all. I am very new to this type of thing but have had to get this off my chest. My stepson has been a nightmare since I can remember. he is now 16 and I have brought him up since he was 5. His mother NEVER has let me discipline him in any shape or form. On Sunday after years of distrustful comments constant answering back, I flipped and went to attack him. I simply had had enough of him. Red Mist. His mother stopped me.. I have now moved out of the family home as I can not stand the sight of him or his voice.. What the fuck to I do. Totally }:) lost
He's pretty clearly a
He's pretty clearly a stepdad, so the mother he mentions is his wife or partner.
Honestly? I think you stay
Honestly? I think you stay gone.
OK, so you do know that "attacking" him (red mist or not) was wrong. You hate him, that's clear. You cannot possibly continue to share a home with someone you hate, no matter how much you love his mother.
I don't know if your wife will consider staying married to you. (To be honest, if someone physically assaulted my kid, I wouldn't.) But if she will, then maybe you just stay married but living in separate homes until SS is old enough to move out. There are people on here who do that, and it works for them. (Hopefully Sally will chime in!)
Unfortunately, I think that's your only option other than divorce.
You keep on doing what you
You keep on doing what you are doing is what you do. Don't go back, if it has been this many years what or who are you expecting to change?
Essentially the skid got exactly what he wanted= YOU GONE. You allowed yourself to be provoked and now you are paying for it. But really it has to do with how you look at "paying for it". Now you can have a life free of a asshole skid and a wife who doesn't have your back. Why would you want to even go back?
I feel that that stepkid
I feel that that stepkid needs to realize that your the adult and he needs to respect you, which he is refusing to. He's at an age where he should realize that rather than starting an argument, the two of you should just avoid each other. If that kid ever touches you I think you should fight him back to defend yourself. Your wife is lucky you helped her out with him and there is no way that you can be in a relationship and NOT discipline a child. I would tell her, "This is ridiculous."
I have seen two different step-sons threaten to shoot their step-fathers. That is absolutely insane.
So, I think you have every right to leave her at this point, because no one should have to deal with this kind of unappreciation and disrespect from a kid that was never their problem in the first place. Although if you've been together 10 years, you might want to save your relationship, unless you think things are going to escalate with her son.
Oh don't even get ME started.
Oh don't even get ME started. My SD20 has been an ass as long as I've known her. She'll never grow up because she's needy and has Daddy on her side.
I just moved out last week. Right now I'm looking at the beautiful countryside from my parent's home, flashing back to 1986. It's weird but it's peaceful. I so desperately needed this. My new journey has just started.
Click on my name, then my bookmarks and go back to June 16th, or further. I got the hell OUT.
~Moon
wow that brings back child
wow that brings back child hood memories of my step father coming home absolutely pissed from the pub and I remember saying as a 16 year old to him cheerfully...."hi David" (not knowing he was drunk...and when he looked at me in that surly shut the fuck up sort of look he gives you then you realise he is pissed as a mute, I went to my room to do what ever not really caring (used to happen all the time).
I heard mum come home asking him where I was and I heard him yell belligerently at her that In was in my room ans something about me not saying hello and blah blah (implying I was the rude bitch) and then mum came to my room asking me did I say hello and by that time I realised things were "turning" and I said of course I said hello but like normal, he ignored me.....
then shit hit the fan...he snapped and dragged me to the lunge room and started punching and kicking into me and trying to fight me...a GROWN man with a 16 year old teenager. I remember trying to defend myself as I was angry too and telling him to fuck off and leave me alone and he isnt my father (and Ive never said that to him before and Ive been living with him since I was 8 .....heavy shit...
He apologized to me for losing his cool the next day.... and of course I was expected to suck it up and be all cool with it as we cant expect mum to have to protect her kids from the abuse can we? Like lets not have this little incident split a family up.... Sorry for my cynicism...I was raised to not have expect that my needs, opinions etc were valued. Its been a long road to heal.
Whether you like it or not,
Whether you like it or not, attacking that boy was unacceptable.
As Stormy says " be all cool with it as we cant expect mum to have to protect her kids from the abuse can we?"
I hope you have enough self respect and maturity to not go back. I come from an abusive childhood and let me tell you, it is no alright even if it's only once as you state. Stay away from them and call it a day. You have nothing to be proud of.
Has his behavior always been
Has his behavior always been that bad or has it just gotten bad? I find it hard to believe someone would stay in an uncomfortable situation for 11 years. From what I am understanding is that you did not physically harm the boy so there should be no fear from social services. You have to decide what you are willing to accept happen to you. Once you make your decision stick to it. If you are not going to allow a child to be disrespectful toward you then let your wife know. If she does not correct the behavior then you have to make the decision on whether or not you want to move on or just live seperate until he moves out.