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Update to the insanity

Sweet T's picture

So one of the really great things about being good friends with BM1 is the fact that my stepsons tell her all the crap that transpires so I get a accurate view of the weekend. Additionally I know that my stepsons ( former ...but they always say I will always be their step mom so screw it) watch over their brother and their mom reminds them of the things that need to be done, like sunscreen ect... I always treated BM with the respect I would have wanted because some day I knew there would be weddings and grandchildren and I never wanted their to be issues. WHo knew thatshe would end up being my friend and a great source of support. ( tuck that away ladies...you never know)

Any ways after ex asshole made such a big deal about who BS almost 8 rides with and how his GF does her own thing on his weekend I learn the following. She was with them most of the weekend. He celebrated BS's birthday ( well gave him his gifts) from her and him w/o his brother's present. Told BS that he would not be getting him a dairy queen cake like he did his brother in May( there was no cake at all). On Saturday they went to a party at GF's brothers and then he sent the kids in his car ( SS is 17) to his brothers house on their own while he stayed at the GF's brothers for a couple more hours. And he let BS who turns 8 next week and is a small kid ( 55#) ride in the front seat of his car and no booster.

When I picked BS up from day care last night the first thing he did was apologize and told me he realized that his dad would never have changed and he knows why I couldn't stay married to him. He also said to me mom why did dad "celebrate " my birthday with GF and not when my brother's were there the next day. They are my family. Thing is he could have done it on Friday as I am giving up my Friday night so exc can take BS to a ball game for his birthday and then will return him home to me the morning of his birthday. The cake thing really bothered BS, probably never would have thought about it until ex told him he was NOT going to do it. I told him not to worry that actually my BF was getting him one for the dinner on Sunday. ( BF is all excited to do so.. I am not sure if he has ever bought anyone a birthday cake before )

10 more years on my prison sentence.

Comments

furkidsforme's picture

Poor kid. Sounds like he's struggling to balance the Dad he dreams he has with the reality of who his Dad actually is.

Sweet T's picture

Very true. Trust me the ex had an audiencethis weekend and gave an amazing performance o I am a super dad. In a way he knows that he has lost the other two kids so he is working our son.

kathc's picture

As expected, your ex showed his true colors again. I'm sorry for your BS that he's got to have such a blatant display of it, no kid deserves to be told they're not getting a birthday cake.

We don't go nuts getting skid a fancy cake and all because BM does his birthday parties but get a small cake or cupcake at our house. Shit, at least get the kid a donut and stick a candle in it!

Your son is lucky he has a brother who looks out for him and has you as his other parent.

Sweet T's picture

Unfortunatly both his teen age brothers have plans over the weekend otherwise they would be at my house for his family party. He is feeling bad that they are not coming or my brother's family as they are on vacation.

I have always made a big deal over his birthday and my skids when they were with us, so it is no wonder why ex is struggling. Last year he did NOTHING for the older two boys and for BS had no money for a gift so I signed his name on mine and we took BS out to dinner together. I also had a kid party and a family party with my side.

This year I am taking him and 3 buddies to the minion movie and then we are having a sleep over Saturday. Sunday my parents, aunt and my BF's family are coming to dinner.

I did do a disney mom. Because I am not having a huge party just the movie and the sleepover... nothing big like Pump it up or Dave and Busters, I took the money that I would have spent and bought the Wii U. He is going to absolutely love it. We have the original that I bought his brother's 8 years ago when he was born and I am bringing that over to my BF's along with our rock band so we can play it when we are there. He has a house I live in a town home and my neighbors don't need that.

Bottom line I do all the homework and rule enforcing so I figure I should get to do the fun stuff too.

kathc's picture

Awww, I don't think it's a Disney move to buy the WiiU for his bday, I think it's a great idea! It sounds like you've got a great party planned and he will get tons of use out of the Wii. It'd be a Disney move if you just bought it for him on a random Tuesday in August. Wink

Sweet T's picture

He will get a lot of use out of it because we have a ton of Wii games that can be played on it. I am waiting for him to tell my EX about it. I know he is going to demand the old Wii. Not happening, that was bought with a gift card I was given by my former employer when BS was born. I chose to spend a portion on my skids as a gift from the baby. Bringing it o my BF's gives BS something else to do when we are over there.

I gave him the PS2 for the kids when we split.

learningallthetime's picture

I just want to add to the comment regarding you becoming friends with the BM. I have the same situation - she said she was sad when I left because at least I reined in exes crazy and it was easier to deal with me for the sake of the kids. We are now good friends, and take the kids all out together. Drives ex nuts, and he thinks we do it to screw with him, but in fact I really like her, we often have coffee dates where ex is not even brought up as a topic. I am very glad I kept it civil.

I look at some posts here and wonder if posters are so caught up in their DHs drama they fail to see where the problem lies. Yes, there are problem BMs, but also problem DHs. And often 2 sides to a story.

Sweet T's picture

I think I have a girl crush on you learningallthe time ! I have said this so many times myself. My ex fed me so much BS against BM and I believed it in the begining. I have been on here a long time and know that in some ladies places their husbands have either made BM have to be in bitch mode and the SM as well.

I even told BM if she needed me to testify for her annulment with the church as to his mental illness I would.

learningallthetime's picture

Sweet T - my ex definitely played his latest GF (who has left him by the way) - she clearly thought I was crazy, and would scream at me about things I had apparently done, while I was thinking WTH?! And he would take a grain of truth and build a lie. I saw it, because I lived it, and I was sad for her as she clearly was wasting her life believing his crazy. I am glad she left and is out of state - partly for her, as she is safe, but also for me and my son, as ex cannot handle his life without someone helping! So, instead of being busy trying to mess with me, he is busy putting out the fires in his life of his own creation!

Sweet T's picture

You just described my ex. BM1 and I have debated whether to warn his latest victim. BM's brother actually works with the GF's brother. We all know that would result in a world of hurt for us, so we let it go. Besides we doubt she would believe us.

Sweet T's picture

You just described my ex. BM1 and I have debated whether to warn his latest victim. BM's brother actually works with the GF's brother. We all know that would result in a world of hurt for us, so we let it go. Besides we doubt she would believe us.