Fed up

Downtowncrabby's picture

So heres the issue. Dh expects me to be the mom to his kids along with our kid together. However when skid are here he pays more attention to them then anything else. I have asked if im gonna be a step mom id like to know whats going on with things ar our house. I want to be respected since i do most of the cooking cleaning. Rules at our house are simple however when i ask skids to do stuff around house im ignored and ive had a gut full of the lies and the NO's and just beung ignored till they want something. Dh wants to be a family and i told him its impossible when im out of the loop and you talk alone to them and then he gets mad when i start to just worrt about my child and my life. Sick of being on repeat. How to get on same page with rules and things.

Sparklelady's picture

What Sally says is true, it's time to disengage. And she's also right, when they make a mess, you don't ask them - you ask your DH to clean it up. It's totally fine if he gets the skids to do it with him, but if he isn't going to support you then he's the one who needs to do the cleaning/get the skids on board.

This will NOT get better for you if you do not change. If you continue to do the same things, you will reap the rewards of feeling resentment and frustration. It's truly not hard to start setting boundaries. Even just begin with any time you're ignored - the moment you're ignored, call out "DH, I need (dishes put in the sink/dirty clothes picked up/towels hung up, etc)!" Eventually, he'll either get mad at his kids for not doing it, or he'll cave and just do it himself or it'll shine a bright light on your relationship and you'll be faced with a choice.

Believe you deserve better. You do.

Downtowncrabby's picture

Ill have to try to start calling out to dh to do their crap. I have to pic up my bio baby's stuff. Another thing that pisses me off is he never includes me in talks he has about things going on with skids and plans. It seems when i bring issues up dh just doesnt care...but he can say shit about my niece and nephew not listening and tgey are mych younger.

Downtowncrabby's picture

Dh is now playing a disneyland dad and letting bm get away with anything she wants from changing weekends to dropping skids off whenever she feels like it. Ugh.. how to get dh to stand up and follow co...