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skid independence

Raggles's picture

Submitted by Raggles on Fri, 07/03/2015 - 9:48am

SO and I are currently arguing/disagreeing over sD18
She has a part time job partly due to me pushing she needs to grow up and be independent
However SO is always taking her and picking her up. Its about a 40min walk (or a bus) and yes when she finishes late at night i agree she needs picking up. I cant understand why he needs to be at her beck and call and yet again tie up his time running around after her. He doesnt see my pov at all .Her shifts start at 1pm in afternoon or even 5pm and he still feels he needs to take her.
I am seriously finding his 'devotion' to her a big turn off and today have actually told him that. It seems to have gone in one ear and out the other.
I just cant seem to get through to him....

Comments

Raggles's picture

Submitted by Raggles on Fri, 07/03/2015 - 9:57am

Sally it makes me sick and the more it continues the more i prefer my own company!!!
What is sad is he only does it with this one child ( i would say adult but she doesnt act like one)
He treats the younger skids so much better and more appropriately.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Fri, 07/03/2015 - 9:58am

Then what I would do is plan a romantic Interlude and then nix it saying "No wait, SD will need a ride to work/ ride home. No time. I think I will knit/read/watch PBS instead."

And then go about making your own entertainment independent of DH. This doesn't mean the End of Days. Just that you do not need him to enjoy yourself.

Drac0's picture

Submitted by Drac0 on Fri, 07/03/2015 - 10:13am

>and yes when she finishes late at night i agree she needs picking up<

I dunno. We had a problem with a serial rapist in our a town a few years back. He would abduct young girls in the middle of the day even. Thankfully, he was finally caught two years ago but that *sshole gave the whole community quite a scare. If my daughter was 18 and working part time, I would gladly be picking her up and dropping her off.

I did the same with my wife and my ex-wife(when we were still married.

Where I draw the line is when I am being treated like a taxi-service. If you want me to pick you up at X time, I expect you to be there at X time. My ex was notorious for being late and once had me waiting for her for two hours. If I am kind enough to pick you up and give you a lift, the very LEAST you can do is not make me wait.

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Fri, 07/03/2015 - 10:19am

Does she drive? At least, she has a job. I agree with Sally and Oneoffour entertain yourself. I understand DH and Draco's perspective about safety - I'd be pushing for SD to save and get her own vehicle.

Raggles's picture

Submitted by Raggles on Fri, 07/03/2015 - 10:35am

Draco i agree with some of what you say but how is she supposed to become independent if daddeeee always takes and picks her up. He is going out of his way to take and fetch. Where is his life when he is running around after her all the time. And its not just work, its college,gym and swimming.
I know its his choice but still..

Drac0's picture

Submitted by Drac0 on Fri, 07/03/2015 - 11:15am

WOAH!!!!
Back up a minute!
*rubs eyes*
Did I read this right?

Your SD is 18.
She goes to college
She swims and goes to the gym
AND SHE HAS A PART TIME JOB!?!?!?

:jawdrop:

Tell you what Raggles. When your SD graduates, send me her CV, I can get her a job easily! Trust me, I don't think this girl will have any problems becoming independent.

Fuck me. If my SS was even half as active as your SD, I'd gladly drive him anywhere he wants to go.

Raggles's picture

Submitted by Raggles on Fri, 07/03/2015 - 1:20pm

Graduates.... hmmmmmm no comment!!!
All activites done because daddeeeee takes her and wont happen unless he did!
Oh and in her eyes means dadddeeeee with her amd nowhere near me!

Tell you what Draco you have her for a month and tell me what you think. No manners, doesnt clear up after herself ever and expects to be waited on hand and foot.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 07/03/2015 - 8:15pm

Why does your SO not encourage her to get her license? Does she not have friends that can give her lifts?

Raggles's picture

Submitted by Raggles on Tue, 07/07/2015 - 2:13pm

She is having driving lessons. Has been since last October. Hasnt passed the theory practice tests yet and i cant see her passing for a while. Also she doesnt have any friends.....