Skidly is Due to BLESS Us with His Presence This Weekend...
... The kid (14) hasn't been to see his father in nearly 3 months... including fathers day, which was SO's weekend... He said he had a party to go to that weekend, but Fakebook would show this differently. The public post on skidly's wall (Not SF's wall, mind you) showed a photo of SS and his SF with post (an edited post) saying how he was the best stepdad in the world, and how thankful he is to have someone to teach him things, bla bla, bla - puke. The SF replied how it was so wonderful to spend the day together with him. All BM propaganda.
So far, up till last night, he was coming - things can change at a moment's notice, so I reserve some doubt (or hope) that there's yet another last minute change of plans, but I guess we'll see.
I suppose I shouldn't complain, because it is clearly the middle of the end with all this crap, but still...STILL I feel that all too familiar anxiety building and there is already tension in the house.
It's hard to pretend that I give a rat's ass that he's here, when his actions seriously hurt his father. I have absolutely zero use for these people.
Ahhh... there you are! You
Ahhh... there you are!
You know - I thought about that. If there is any conceivable way to nicely get that conversation going, I absolutely will.
His father tries to behave as though he understands and makes excuses saying things like, he's at the age where he'd rather be with his friends or when I was his age, I didn't want to hang out with my father... all truths I suppose, but, shit - he's already lost his daughter, and the crayon is ALL over the wall with his son now, too. And this brings out something akin to pure hatred in me.
Edited to add: He didn't even SPEAK to his father on father's day.. he sent a text..
The possibility is great that
The possibility is great that the crayon could be all over his face and he'd have a reason to not see it. I know it's like that with my SO.
Yep. I have had several come
Yep. I have had several come to Jesus truth bashing conversations with SO over the years about the reality of the crayons... Seriously beating him over the head with Facts. He finally seems to get it... sorta...
I never NEVER use FBook
I never NEVER use FBook anymore... But after that weekend I did some poking around... I'm not sure if SO saw that post or not, and I want to show it to him, but I haven't brought it up. No reason to rub that salt in the wound... yet. I'll save it for if he goes on some rant about SS and how wonderful he is.
The really sad part is that this kid was always very sweet with his father. For the first year or so after the divorce, he'd call his dad multiple times a day, and always at night, hiding under the covers on the phone or on facetime because his bitch MOTY wouldn't let him talk on the phone. It was a constant chorus of "I miss you", "I love you".. now, she's all but destroyed that relationship, too.
Just fills me with hatred and contempt
Yep... done that I am
Yep... done that
I am pretty good at waiting it all out for the right moment.
So far, he's still, really coming this weekend. Makes me ill. I was getting used to the idea that it was over - I'm hoping this visit lasts him 3 months like the last one. We'll see if he sticks it out this time or finds some lame reason to go home early. I cannot even remember the last time he actually came and stayed for the entire weekend... has to be like 6+ months ago. He can leave anytime he wants to, as long as he has transportation to do so.
Well I'm certainly with you
Well I'm certainly with you on that but the pig moved and round trip would take over two and a half hours which will further shit up my weekend. So no if he wants to go someone's going to pick him up close by.
Yeah that. that's why I
Yeah that. that's why I always have a pretty horrible attitude whenever the kids name is even mentioned. there is no way I can hang out and pretend like everything is groovy because it isn't and it makes me angry. As a family I'm guessing there was some good amount of dysfunction because no one ever talks about the white elephant in the room. well no one except me. certainly this kid is old enough to know that posting that shit on Facebook was just below crappy.
the thing is that he's never had ill words with his father. Maybe part of it is my doing as I cut out the party ponies and circus clowns when he comes around. If we were planning on painting that weekend painting is what's going to happen. So I guess it's no fun being at dad's house. Oh well. as far as I'm concerned they have all burn their bridges with me and I'm the new sheriff in this town.
I feel exactly the same about
I feel exactly the same about SS16. I could've written every word you did. My DH is over it. He feels the same way yours does: IF (big if) SS comes back around, he'll need to make a sincere, sustained, heartfelt, apologetic effort before any type of relationship will be reestablished. If he can't take ownership for what he CHOSE to do and admit that he was wrong in the way he dealt with DH, he's not welcome. At his age, PAS or no, he absolutely has in choice in how he behaves and needs to take ownership.
That's what I pretty much
That's what I pretty much what I told my SO. that I guess there is a way back but in my mind it will take a lot on the skids part and I don't think any of her offspring has that kind of humanity in them. I seriously don't understand the warped hold from these kid's mothers. I swear neither of his kids are capable of having an original thought.
Yes, me too - much angrier
Yes, me too - much angrier about it. I guess maybe it's because they love their kids and we, well, we certainly do not. My SO gets hurt, not angry. In the past he'd turn the angry on me. That never bodes well. I'm vicious when attacked and although I loathe it, I'm good at fighting. It hasn't happened in a while, so we'll see going forward.
I am all done hearing that someone is "just a kid". When he used to get riled up that was the retort. I kept reminding him that he's not 7... he'll be driving in 2 years. Nothing excuses horrible behavior, not age, not anything.
I think I'll always carry these feelings. I told SO that the way things are now, (and where I am sure they are going) I won't have any involvement in the future... graduations, weddings, babies, whatever, I'm out. If he wants to go play with the animals, go for it, but I'm not going there. My intention is to live a life wherein I never meet that piece of shit Bowel Movement. Her offspring are none of my concern.
Kids should have to take
Kids should have to take responsibility for their behavior toward either parent!!! I could not agree more.
I had a convo with SO last
I had a convo with SO last night... It started when he said that the house always feels strange when skidly is here - that I act differently, etc... I told him I'm doing the best I can, that I AM uncomfortable and I try my best to be 'normal', but I'm not normal when he's here.
The conversation went on and he started getting a little ruffled and a bit up my ass, saying why can't we all just hang out together and have fun... so I asked him: "Have you seen DS's Facebook page lately?" No. "Well, why don't you take a look. Do you know what he did on father's day?" No. "Well, why don't you take a look.. he spent the day with SF and posted it in a effed up way to ENSURE you could see it. I still think it's really very fucked up that he blew you off that day - didn't call, not a word". Yes, I know. "Well, I am not cool with that. He is certainly old enough to know what he was doing and you expect me to be happy and fun with this kid? YOU are my concern SO, not skidly, his warped mother or his uber c*nt of a sister. Each time he's here you are asking me to live with the enemy, and be happy about it... I am not that talented of an actress".
I told him that I am not the kind of person that can easily stuff something that I really want to say out loud. He, on the other hand, just never talks about anything real, deep, personal, etc with his kid and wants it to be make believe ponies and unicorns, and that's just not my style. When someone does something that is effed up or that bothers me, I say something about it. It's not my place to say anything, so I stuff it... You refuse to say anything, so I stuff that, too. Here you go - the new "normal".
Whatever - 2 more days.
omg... Is it too early for
omg... Is it too early for wine? It's almost noon where I am.
I feel like i have had SD overload, and she's not even staying with us. She's with my inlaws. I'm like OP- have zero concern for her and she causes me anxiety when she comes around.
Now it's like anxiety by proxy. DH goes over there every day to see her and do homework bc she's in summer school. EVERY damn day there is drama of some kind and it affect DH's mood. OVER IT.
Everyone else in the family treats her with kid gloves... where is the wine????