You are here

How do blended families make it work finacially?

plainjane1's picture

Just out of curiosity........How would it work if a blended couple equally brought in the same amount and 1 parent had 1 BC and the other parent had 3 BC? does everything go equally into 3? because how could hat be fait from the kids point of view?

Just wondering for future reference

plainjane1's picture

That makes sense. So at the end of the year when the parent with more kids is broke who pays for the holiday and the house to get a renovation etc? It sounds so separated because one parent would have more money than the other, it would be awkward going out for dinner

SugarSpice's picture

could not have said this clearer. not a penny of mine will be spent on loser in laws or skids. period.

best to have a prenup.

Monchichi's picture

We agreed a formula before we moved in together. 50/50 on rent and utilities. 60/40 on food and housekeeping. I pay the 60 as PPP lives full time with us. He pays the 40. His son was Eowe plus mid weeks and half every school holiday. We now have an ours and I haven't changed it. Hope this helps.

You need to find what works for you.

Monchichi's picture

dtzy I read your post. I'm sorry it's come to this. SO and I are not always peaches with money. But we've been honest with each other about it and we help each other. We keep it separate. We don't access each other's accounts and we don't ask about what is given to the kids. That's just a big fat no.

onthefence2's picture

I read your other post and I'm not fully in agreement that your dh is wrong to think some of the cs money should go into the family pot. I also agree w/ dividing into the number of people and/or rooms/space being used by each person to decide amounts. But here's an example without knowing your lifestyle. My kids are CONSTANTLY on the go to dance, basketball, drama rehearsal, etc. etc. etc. I do 100% of that driving. It's like a part time job. I don't use their cs money for the real expenses and then give them what's left. I consider it to balance out the fact that if I wanted to make more money and get a part time job, I can't, because I'm driving them everywhere. So the extra goes into a pot (my own) and pays for any extras that come up. If I were to marry, that money would still go into a pot, where we have already previously decided how it is split. The problem comes up where the other person gets greedy, and for each person "greed" is defined differently. A room makeover might be necessary for the family, but a man cave would be "greed," even if he wants the same amount of money for either. Hope that makes sense.

plainjane1's picture

That makes sense - the word greed comes to mind with my DH, He prefers all my DD CS goes to family pot

sarahmj's picture

Me and my oh share all our money as a household. If his kids lived with us we would still do that. I don't agree with this his and hers money! If your married your vows say 'what is mine I give to you'. My partner earns double what I do but I work less so we don't pay childcare for my girls.

Monchichi's picture

I'm with dtzy. I do not accept liability for my spouses divorce agreement. I did not sign to pay US$800 per month plus living expenses in my house and a never ending mountain of medical expenses as BM won't cover anything. My money that I earn is not there to support this agreement.

I have a daughter which I support 100%, there is no maintenance from her bio dad and I have a daughter with my current partner. Diluting our finances is a bad idea and I need my funds to support my children.

I don't agree with shared bank accounts in any shape manner or form where situations like mine and many Steppers here exist.

plainjane1's picture

Ideally I love the comment someone made earlier, We are trying to have a blended family work as a nuclear family, I wish it was like that, theres just so many dimensions in a blended. Very interesting that a lot of people separate funds, Its a bit sad but it seems to work for some.

Monchichi's picture

Have you tried quite simply put applying a maintenance model? It's more or a less how we reached ours. For example:

Rent: $1000
Household Expenses: $1000
Utilities: $300

You have 2 adults and 4 children in the house. I will assume they all live there full time for the purposes of this example.

Adults portion is 60% of the above.

Adults = $1380
Children = $920/ 4 children therefore $230 per child

All clothing, schooling and individual children expenses are paid separately. So in the above example you should be contributing $230 to the family pot of living expenses.

Sometimes you need to be clinical and not emotional. Money happens to be one of those times.

Good luck.