Cyber House Hunting - Starting to Look at Gated Communities after hearing from Twit this morning
Yep, Twit called and DH listened to the message. Oh, she is just soooo sorry that she didn't send him a card. She has been soooo busy (yeah, busy burning up our land line leaving messages demanding to know why DD was here). IMHO, being sooo busy means that DH didn't mean squat to her, one makes time and effort for those one loves. So, she now wants "the 3 of us" (yes, that one has me wondering too) to come for a BBQ on July 4th. We should come after 12:30 as they are going to start eating at 1 p.m. DH should let her know.
Of course, when it played, I heard it, but paid no attention. DH, he just shook his head. I did say that if he wanted to go it, without me of course, it was fine with me. Nope, DH said he wasn't going, that it sounded like the ole Twit tricks, invite him over for BBQ early and then she leaves because she has other plans. She has a pattern of doing this in the past and even at Thanksgiving dinner. I didn't respond....not my problem, though I did remember the Christmas Dinner she invited us to where she served frozen pizza and a can of pop and pretty much pushed us out of the house in an hour and a half!
BUT, the better part is that I have found a nice home in a gated community in the area I am looking at. Could be just what I need because in this day and age Twit will always be able to find out where we are. In a gated community she couldn't get to me like she does here. Never thought of a gated community before but it does have its draw. If it is still available when DD and I go down there I will be looking at it or others like it.
Perhaps I am thinking of safety from the Twit because, as I have learned from learning about what Twit is and her pattern, this offer of the BBQ is just one of her many ways to try to get him back. And if this ploy doesn't work....and DH says he isn't interested.....she will get madder and madder until there is another confrontation.
Heck, I want peace and quiet not to have to watch my back when I go places or to auctions. AndI know from her past that she has no qualms about going ballistic in a public place. She is, IMHO, crazy.
Anyway, just wanted to make note that I am looking and DH is, for right now, holding off another Twit trap.
Good luck on the gated
Good luck on the gated community home. How far is it away from Twit? From what you have written about Twit, there is no doubt she will get mad because you and DH are not taking the 'dinner' bait again.
Hi Sandye - The state is way
Hi Sandye - The state is way away, hundreds or miles, from where we are now. But, with the internet, one can always track us down
It is the area I wanted to move to before Twit started her campaign, and I didn't know what she was back then, about being close in our old age so she could help us out. Now, knowing Twit talk, what she really meant is being close so that she could use us to watch dogs, help her out, take care of her Drunkie, etc. If she doesn't need something, the h*ll with us. And if DH needs help, well she will let him know because she is SOOOOO busy.
And, now with information about how the tick tock goes in the Twit brain, we both know that the storm is coming. This is usually how she starts, to see if she can sucker DH back into her web. And when it doesn't work she starts frothing at the mouth, getting nasty, attacking me, etc. starting trouble with DH with lies about me, etc. She will never change, and she is going to be furious when she finds that we are moving away from her web. Trust me, the victim will come out of her with the crying, and the neediness etc.
I live in the land of gated
I live in the land of gated communities, and there are varying levels of "guarding" going on at those guardhouses. From "lemme check your drivers license and copy your license plate, ok go thru" to "let me call the resident and they will tell me right now whether to let you in or not" - yeah. That's the level of security I prefer }:)
Hi arjuana - Thanks for the
Hi arjuana - Thanks for the heads up on that. Will have to keep that in mind when I look at these places.
After 10 years, we are
After 10 years, we are finally able to move out of a gated community since BM's level of crazy has subsided. We had to move to a gated community because in the beginning she would show up at all hours and was a general nuisance. We don't have a guard but we have to buzz people in and there are cameras all over the community. It really does make a difference. I absolutely would recommend looking into gated. It gives you a sense of security knowing that you have an extra layer of defense.
Never lived in a gated
Never lived in a gated community because I never felt the need to. Perhaps, if I find a place, it will give me the peace and quiet I so desperately need after 4+ years of dealing with Twit.
FWIW, DH hasn't called the
FWIW, DH hasn't called the Twit back about the "invite". Maybe she will get the message. Thankfully, after DH's relapse on her earlier this summer, HE has gotten my message about it.
Well, Twit may be, at least
Well, Twit may be, at least yesterday, getting my message. She showed up at the same auction we were at. I didn't even notice or know she was there and that was just fine, but DH did.
Twit new tactic to get at DH was - guess they were leaving early so Twit sent her husband over to ask DH if he wanted a ride home with them. Yep, ignore him on Father's Day and then act oh so concerned about him only when she has to make no real effort (our house was not out of their way home). Interestingly DH declined -told him no, he was staying with me (even though I knew his leg hurt after so much walking and sitting in one place. Well, what DH really did was ask me and I took the chance and left it up to him because I know that Twit would blame me, cry that I wouldn't let her daddy go with her and her husband would set her straight that it was DH's decision, not mine. That, in itself, will cause a rage in her whether I had anything to do with him saying no or not.
One more interesting thing....remember Twit left a message inviting us to B-B-Q on 4th of July (actually brunch). I find it "interesting" that she would do that and yet totally ignore me (which is fine with me) at the auction. She hasn't changed...it was just a ploy to get time with DH and trust me, if we had accepted, she would have been the nasty piece of work she usually is. So now she is desperately trying to get to DH and it isn't working. In one way that is good, in the other I know she is going to explode and that is bad.
Hi 1stepforward - I remember
Hi 1stepforward - I remember you posting about the truck and how your SS didn't want to register it in his name etc. Great to hear you are going to get FAR away.
You ask if DH is on board with moving so far away. Well, where I am looking was where we were going to retire before Twit made her plea 4+ years ago. DH liked the idea of being close to some member in the family. He knew what she was but, since I had never been around her any real period of time, I didn't.
So, at this time, I am moving. If DH wants to stay here, I can still sell the house (in my name) and he can go live with Twit. I hope he wants to move, but if he doesn't....well, I just can't take it any more, dealing with Twit and her antics, blow ups, fantasies, etc. DH has so far agreed to move so I don't anticipate any problems. Heck, we are in our sunset years and deserve peace as we watch and experience the sun setting. And I certainly don't intend to let Twit send me to my grave early because of her rages and the stress and trauma she puts me through.
Thanks for the tip about the security. I am getting more of an idea what to look for. Believe it or not, some "gated" communities seem to just have a fence and a "guard house" that is sometimes staffed and sometimes not. That won't do.
Well done SDM, I'm glad
Well done SDM, I'm glad you're making positive steps to preserve your sanity
Ya, it almost sounds like one
Ya, it almost sounds like one of those 'cult' abductions. Maybe Twit, in her infinite wisdom, thought she would be able to 'reprogram' DH. LOL LOL
"Maybe Twit, in her infinite
"Maybe Twit, in her infinite wisdom, thought she would be able to 'reprogram' DH. LOL LOL"
I think you are so right on in that Sandye. You see, Twit is craving time with Daddy so she can cry and try to win him back to her beck and call. Things are changing and not the way she wants them to go.
Yes, I was surprised with Twit's hubby was sent over with the "offer." Made it sound like they were doing me a BIG favor by offering to take DH home so I could remain at the auction. Note that Twit doesn't have the courage to have come over and made her "offer" in person, she had to send her hubby.
I'm sure that Twit only found out at the auction we weren't going to her BBQ, as DH had never called her back. So she probably wanted to get to Daddy to cry about how terrible I am, keeping DH away from her. I know how she thinks and operates....to a point. That is why is was so satisfying that DH told him no thanks. Twit's hubby will report back that I told him he could go with them (with my fingers crossed) and DH turned down their offer.
Interestingly, since then, haven't heard a peep out of her. Had a nice 4th of July with some friends from our church. But somehow, I just know that the rage is building, seething, inside Twit as she isn't getting what she wants; things aren't going her way. An explosion is coming.
That is why I am so grateful that when DD and I go house hunting, my son-in-law will be here with DH, to keep the evil Twit away.
Hi Cat - You got it. She
Hi Cat - You got it. She only has time for someone when she really doesn't have to do something or go out of her way, AND she has needs being met.
I can remember Twit saying on that late Father's Day phone message that she has just been too busy to send him a card or call earlier. But with Twit, she is always too busy. Translation: DH is not important enough as she has better things to do.
Like inviting us for Thanksgiving and getting up and leaving to go shopping before the dinner was even over. Or inviting us over for the one BBQ and then leaving because she had the chance for a pot and pan party (making a buck) claiming that she had forgotten all about it until the last minute. She just doesn't get it. And then she wonders why no one wants to have anything to do with her.
Actually, I am hoping that
Actually, I am hoping that Twit has her eruption with my Son-In-Law is here because he won't put up with her tantrums and antics. I can only hope because the Twit would be told of royally and the police called if necessary.
I can't believe it....so far
I can't believe it....so far all quiet on the Twit front! That should be wonderful, but knowing her pattern there is a wicked Twit storm a brewing.
Feeling better as I continue looking at properties away from here and knowing it is only a month until DD and I are out house hunting. Even working on the solution makes me feel good. I was talking to DD the other day and she said she notices that I am more upbeat than I have been in years of dealing with Twit.
At least my stomach isn't turning and all upset as it has been due to dealing with Twit. THAT is a very good feeling.
While I do hate leaning on DD in this Twit mess, it is necessary for my sanity and to make sure that DH knows that not only do I have options, but I have people that care for me that will not let his daughter drive me to an early grave. As I have said in the past....one can't deal with crazy.
Good to hear this. Hope Twit
Good to hear this. Hope Twit is mad enough to give you both the 'silent treatment'. LOL
"Hope Twit is mad enough to
"Hope Twit is mad enough to give you both the 'silent treatment'. LOL"
Fat chance. More than likely she is just refueling for the BIG blast. I do hope she holds off long enough for me to be gone and my Son-in-Law here with DH. SIL would really put a dent into her bubble. He has no tolerance for fools and nutz like her.
BTW, that is why DD and I planned to have SIL here, just in case Twit came around looking to snatch things, or if DH should let the cat out of the bag about us moving. The rage she will go in, crying about how she needs us around, would more than certainly pull at DH's heart strings.
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I would love to see this nut
I would love to see this nut on the Dr Phil show. He would politely make mince-meat out of her. I have a picture in my head of what I think she looks like. It would be most interesting to see a picture of her.
I keep checking your post for a twit update and it's great to see that nothing has transpired yet. I think you're smart to watch your back. Malignant borderline narcissists like her don't just magically disappear. You're right, she's lying in wait, waiting to make her next move. I would love to be a fly on the wall when she finds out that dear daddy is leaving. Pathetic mess that she is will probably collapse on the floor and let out a loud moan and cry cry cry; boo hoo hooey!
I hope she exposes herself when you're gone to your SIL. that would be most interesting.
Good luck to you SDM! We are all rooting for you. I hope you find the house of your dreams.
That bitch has what she's got coming too.
Amber
You're so right, Amber. When
You're so right, Amber. When Twit finds out there's a For Sale sign on sdm's house, she will come unhinged. Better keep a tranquilizer gun handy and the police on speed dial, sdm.
"I planned to have SIL here,
"I planned to have SIL here, just in case Twit came around looking to snatch things, or if DH should let the cat out of the bag about us moving." Very smart move!
Well, Twit has risen out of
Well, Twit has risen out of the slime again. This time she didn't get what she wanted
She called yesterday at our dinner time so we both got to hear what she wanted. Seems she is at the county fair (she always gets space to sell pots and pans) and was lonely. It was obviously she wanted something because she never calls without wanting something, but she didn't say - probably about her dogs as she is dense to say the least. She waited for awhile to see if we were around to take her call and one could tell she was disgusted and ended by saying she would try elsewhere (must have wanted something) and DH didn't have to call her back.
Neither DH nor I commented on her call etc. Could have been a telemarketer for all we cared.
She was at the County fair -
She was at the County fair - her pots and pans must not be selling. Yes, the only way you could take comment such as, "I will try somewhere else", is that they WANT something. Good for you.
Good luck with the house
Good luck with the house hunting.
DH and I have a condo in a high rise in an urban area with unfortunately a lot of crime. We have a secured parking lot, codes on the elevators and a guard at night.
I do not have a skids stalking me, but my old fiancé used to stalk me - for DECADES. Literally. I would move from the East coast to the West coast and 5 minutes after my phone being installed he would call. He would find out when I was going to be at my parents' home and drop by - 500 miles away from his home.
I promise I gave him ZERO encouragement. He married shortly after the end of our engagement (to someone he'd been dating behind my back) and has now been married to her for 40+ years. I did not want him 40 years ago, and I never wanted any married man. Years ago I even told his wife to make him leave me alone.
For most of my career I lived 2000-3000 miles away from my ex. My ex lives not too far from where our condo is. When he found out where I was he was unable to show up because of the security.
But he tried to buy a unit in the building!!! There's a lot of demand for these units and being on the board and knowing a lot of the owners - word got around that he was a crazy person so no one would sell to him. There are 2-3 buyers wanting each unit so no one had to sell to him.
Plus I think my attorney neighbor who used to work with (or more likely against him) as the ex is an attorney too told him wife why they should not buy a unit in the building. Some of it was to protect me - but even more so they didn't want him as a neighbor.
There are just too many crazies in the world.
Wow. What a terrible ordeal.
Wow. What a terrible ordeal. I'm glad you're safe. I've seen TV shows on ID Discovery about stalking. It's very scary and real. Your ex sounds like a nut. I'm glad you found a safe place to live and I hope he leaves you alone. I am sorry you have had to suffer and have probably been scared to death. I can tell from reading your posts over the time I've been on STalk that your a strong lady. I wish you happiness and peace. Stalking is scary and no one should have to constantly be looking over their shoulder the way that stalking victims do.
Amber