SS development
So DH says something interesting to me this morning. Out of the blue he says that SS 26 wishes to reconcile with me. Really, I say that's interesting. I said nothing more. It's been about a year since I completely disengaged and cut him and the other one out of my life completely. Don't know why he saying he wishes to reconcile but DH claims that SS says he knows he behaved hatefully and ignorantly. I had to bite my tongue, because what I wanted to say was "don't bother trying to reconcile until you have a check ready to present to me in the amount of $2500. The remaining amount of what you stole from us and have refused to pay back." If I ever hear from him or the other one this is what I will say "I forgive you for your terrible and hateful and hurtful behavior. I forgive you because it's the right thing to do for my own well-being. But forge a relationship with you again? That is something you'd have to prove to me would be in my best interest to do. The both of you showed me clearly that you have no regard for me as a human being whatsoever. If that's changed I'm sure I'll see that in your behavior".
Because I have no need to
Because I have no need to even engage in conversation with DH about it. He knows where I stand. And unless SS actually does something, which I doubt he will, to promote this reconciliation, why even waste my breath. DH and I are getting along well...I see no reason to engage in conversation about it.
Sorry, this made me laugh. I
Sorry, this made me laugh. I get that comment now and then, too. "Merry, SS really wants to know how to convince you that he's changed."
What I always say is that he needs to take care of his own business, meaning get a job, keep the job, pay his own bills (all of them) and stop asking DH for money. He's 30 years old ffs but has acted 15 for half his life.
Nothing changes. Six months later, rinse and repeat. SS just doesn't know WWWHHHHYYYYY I don't have warm fuzzies for him.
^^^I thought I wrote this for
^^^I thought I wrote this for a minute! Dang, my ss30 has an evil twin out there }:) Every few months I hear the same story about ss30 as well. He's got it together, he's working, he'll pay his own bills soon... Best of all now "He has a girlfriend. He does so much better with a woman in his life." The current pot head that ss30 is dating is talking marriage and kids with him, scary. If they do procreate we may have to hasten our plans to move out of state.
Exactly, forgiveness is
Exactly, forgiveness is really just what I do for myself and really has nothing to do with him. Having a relationship with him however is a whole different ballpark and I really have no interest. I feel like he's not worth it to hold a grudge against as that only takes time away from me. So I try to find forgiveness for myself but it certainly doesn't mean I want anything to do with the POS
I agree forgiveness is vital
I agree forgiveness is vital for your personal health and freedom...
Sure!!! Let's "reconcile" so
Sure!!! Let's "reconcile" so I don't have to pay back the money... acts all sorry and sweet for 20 min, then back to the same old. He just wants back into your life so he can find a way to GET MORE OUT OF YOU!!! A user. Like many of these brats are. Greedy opportunists.
Do not buy it. Tell him let's talk payment plan for the money you owe, then we can talk reconcile...
Exactly! Iim open but all I
Exactly! Iim open but all I hear are crickets!!
Without a doubt! The money
Without a doubt! The money would be the first thing I'd say. But in all honesty, nothing is gonna happen. SS may have said he wants to are up and DH probably hoped I'd be all happy about it. Instead I just said "interesting". SS will doubtfully actually do anything about it!!
You can let it go and try to
You can let it go and try to move forward but the hatred you have received and the way you have been treated will remain and that will influence how you can move forwards.