H, BM and BMH were going back and forth on an email. BM said in her email

"Also, one thing that I need to point out - don't use SD4 as your messenger, even if it is subtle. The first time I heard about you remarrying was from SD4. That is information that must come from you, not her. That is even broken down towards the end of our parenting plan. With that said, you will need to someday tell me what your future plans are now that you two are married."

Nothing in the parenting plan says that H needs to tell BM his personal life and vice versa. She only wants to know because H and I have been living in separate states. We just found out recently I can move with BS7. If H decided to move to my state, that would mean BMs family wouldn't be able to see SD4. If we moved to a different state, BM has no family to stay with when she's picking up SD4. It's convienent for BM if H and I moved to his state. Of course we would inform BM if there was any relocation involved, but for the past two years, there's been no new info.

And to be clear. We did not tell SD4 to tell her mom we got married. She assumed that