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his ex and her family

sammysue5's picture

Hi, I have a question is this normal? When ever we go to my Dh kids activities we make sure to keep distance away from his ex but close enough to see kids. The problem is the ex or family stares and it's getting really old! We go to leave and get hugs and kisses and litterly there were about 7 of her family there and they all just watched . He's the father shouldn't he be able to have his time! The last time was so bad I just walked away and all this Ex drama is really getting to me! I have a man who o know loves me but he also can not stand up for him self with anyone . Makes it so much harder. And also don't help when I'm taking clomid ....me get pissy! Lol thanks for any advice!

Aeron's picture

If all they're doing is staring, I'm not sure what you expect DH to do. Saying something to them, letting them know that it bothers you is not going to make them stop. It will probably just amp up the behavior. It doesn't sound like them stopped him from saying goodbye and giving affection so.... yeah, I get that it really irritates you but there's not much to be done about it.

You can't dictate who shows up to the activities and if they aren't being aggressive or threatening you don't have any recourse. Going to the cops or the court and complaining that someone is looking at you is just going to make them look at you like you're the problem. It sounds silly. Your options here are basically to ignore them entirely or to not go to these kind of activities.

omgstop's picture

You can't let that stuff get to you. I know it's a tired phrase and doesn't see at all helpful at first and you're probably rolling your eyes and I don't blame you lol. HOWEVER, if they wanna stare, let them, no skin off your nose. They can spend all day gazing upon you beauty and try to stare you down, don't let them. Wave. Wear a shirt that says, THANKS FOR STARING. Dogs and other animals stare to assert dominance, so in essence they're all a bunch of bitches. Eff them. The next time it happens just keep doing what you're doing and remember that you are, evidently, SO CUTE, you have a little fan club.

Indigo's picture

Don't sweat it. He's with you now, right? Besides, clomid messes with your emotions and you might be feeling more sensitive or over-reactive right now. Are you planning a wedding on top of this? There's a lot on your plate. Smile

Mrs. December's picture

Here's what I do....I just make certain to look good, wear something that makes me feel confident and smile through it. I too get the stare, glare, BM even will totally follow me walking across a room or sports field or whatever to the point other people have noticed her do it.

I'd actually like to walk up to her and punch her right in the face, but I just say to myself, "even on my worst day I look better than you, that's why you stare" I really don't have that much self esteem, but I have to tell myself that or I would feel so defeated every time, every kid event.

Stepped in what momma's picture

I like the shirt suggestions, glasses are good and looking exceptionally hot and laughing is always a good way to piss of the new fan club. Try it out and let us know.

sammysue5's picture

Thanks all! I will definitely do. I have not much confidence but I can say in looks I have nothing to worry about! I just have to figure out how not to let her get to me! I did say I wouldn't go to activities but he said no he and kids want me there. The ex did put in a fb message she would do anything legally to get me out of pictures and then her family said let's gang up on her, I'm not worried there all talk but gets so old! Then she told Dh that she does not want me at their activities. But anyway I will take all your advice and smile and strut it! Lol

omgstop's picture

Yeah girl, she sounds like a cast member of Mean Girls. If they have nothing else to do other than plot against you, let 'em. And do absolutely everything you can to make sure you know NOTHING about what she or her idiot clan has to say about you. Whenever you're feeling negative about this, just remember that your dh and skids want you there and that alone is INFINITELY more important than whatever the Bowel Movement club is up to.

misSTEP's picture

Make sure to let your DH know that your expectations are: if he isn't paying attention to skid, he is lavishing attention on YOU. }:)

sammysue5's picture

Now to add to all the excitement!!! My DH found out this morning that the BM had a baby and "didn't now she was pregnant"! But yet we wondered our self if she was pg cause you could tell! She said she didnt know whatever , She had to know... Just more attention she's trying to get. So with this maybe she'll back the hell off! Lol