Not tossing me under a bus anymore. Lets get real.
If I sound like a B*t*h forgive me, Its what being a step mom to adults has done to me. Been married 8 year,s to a man who has know back bone when it come's to his precious ADULT kid's. But tossing me under the bus may suit him but it doesn't to me anymore. I use to take it, not so much anymore. So here is the problem I'm here today with. He goes out of town on business stays with his daughter and her D*ck of a husband. They have treated me like shit from almost day one. I have put up with this Cr*p for way to long all because I love my husband. My husband has never been to my adult daughters home except for 1 time in 8 years. I stopped going to his adult daughters house because of the way they have lied and wont admit to their wrong doing. He says they apologized to him. I told him they don't owe him the apology they owe me one. Well now he is on this trying to make me feel guilty for not going to their home with him. When he brings it up I don't respond , I guess you could say I don't feel like fighting. He knows how I feel but feels the need to keep pushing the issue. What I want is for them to tell him the TRUTH all the BS they have told me but wont admit to him they said it, and to apologized to me to my face . Tell then I'm done with their nasty ways. You may say well why don't you tell your husband this. I like most of you have a husband that don't want to makes waves for his precious daughter.
Forever and ever, I use to be
Forever and ever,
I use to be nice, I have changed and I don't like who I have become, I just got to a point where I have never let my own adult kids disrespect me I will be dam if I will let his kid's do me that way.
"Well now he is on this
"Well now he is on this trying to make me feel guilty for not going to their home with him."
You don't have to go visit the skid and there is nothing to feel guilty about. It's pretty simple really 'no, thanks, I'm not going with you'. Nothing to feel guilty about. Why would you. The skid has not been nice to you and I doubt she wants you coming to visit her home any more than you desire to actually go.
Don't hold your breath for that apology or confession from the skid that you think you are due. It won't be coming any time soon if ever. I'm sure if she were asked about this she'd say it's you that owe her all this and not her owing you. You're not going to come to an agreement on this and you're not going to get what you think you deserve. I'm not saying you don't deserve an apology or that she hasn't been terrible to you. I'm saying, it is what it is. You two ladies have little use or desire for each other. Live your life and let her live hers. DH can STHU. You don't want to go visit, she's not a part of your daily life or a need for even an occasional acquaintance get together. You're done with her. End of it.
If DH is off on a business trip and stopping to visit his daughter, don't make that an issue. Either enjoy having a bit of down time around the house to yourself, or pack your bag and fly off to do something you do enjoy doing. Invite a friend to weekend trip in a new city to explore or just check into a local hotel with room service and have a pamper 'me' time.
You don't need this misbehaved adult child in your life, don't free guilty and don't put your life on hold waiting for her to come to her senses. Accept what it is and move on from her.
As long as you feel like
As long as you feel like someone owes you an apology you cannot let go and that is exactly what you need to do, is let go. Get to the point where you feel no apology is needed or wanted. It's simply not going to happen and wanting it will just make yourself miserable. I think it is time to let go of the steps.
<<<<<>>>>>>> I know where you
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I know where you are coming from when you hear that from your DH. He thinks all should be well, BUT the truth is that since they never acknowledged to you it is really no apology.
Early, when we moved here and my Twit would act out, and then apologize, not to me, but to DH for her actions --- mainly because she wanted DH to think she was being big about things. He would tell me the same thing. And I agree with you, apologizing to him for what she did to you is no apology!
The first few times I accepted it, let it go, but I quickly found out that, since she didn't apologize for her nastiness, she only repeated it again and again as, being the sicko she is, she believed I was a victim for her, someone to get an ego, narcissistic fix off of.
OP, I say leave them alone and do your own thing with your children. It is never going to get better once they get an attitude towards you. This is difficult, trust me, I know. And will require a lot of work, continuing work.
Wow, thanks for your post.
Wow, thanks for your post. My circumstance is a 28-year old SD, the youngest of 3 adult kids; my husband and I have been together less than one year of marriage, but nearly four years in our relationship prior to marriage. I didn't care then that they were nasty, but I saw progress in their 'coming around' or so I thought. I spoofed myself and found the real truth to be posted from her on her FB account, referring to me as a c***. When DH confronted her, she flew into a crying dramatic act about how sorry she was. Frankly I believe she is sorry and embarrassed she was caught. It seems to hurt more now, and I feel that depression. I find my perspective changed, and I'm having a time of it trusting any one or anything said in recent weeks.
Having a place to talk like this helps, and I just wanted to say thanks for sharing what you have.
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