BM phone calls...I wish she just wouldn't call
BM has been on vacation for two weeks now, and she promised SS6 she would FaceTime him every day. Since I have an iPhone and DH doesn't she calls my phone. The first six days she was gone, not a single phone call. Now typically she doesn't call when he's at our house anyways, so SS didn't notice. Then she finally called, while I was at work, I had SS call back right away when I got home ....no answer, no call back that day. The next day he tried again and she answered but said she would call back because she was busy. When she finally called back she talked to him for like 2 minutes and then had to go and it just broke his heart. The day after that, she called again....and again only talked to him for 2-3 mins and then had to go, right as he was telling her about all the stuff he's been doing. Finally yesterday he said to me "She acts like she wants to talk to me and then doesn't answer or hangs up right away! I don't get it!" and then threw my phone down.
Now I can fully appreciate that she's on her vacation in Mexico and wants to enjoy every minute, but if you're going to call, set aside 5 or 10 mins to talk to him...see how he's doing, something. Don't just blow him off! Or don't make promises you can't keep!!
I seriously don't even want to answer the next time she calls because it puts him in a horrible mood! But I can't do that, because then I'm the bad guy. UGH!!!! I feel so bad for him. 
It's so frustrating!! Just
It's so frustrating!! Just don't call at all if you can't be attentive.
It's in their agreement,
It's in their agreement, unfortunately. But I think it's a great idea!!
It's in their agreement,
It's in their agreement, unfortunately. But I think it's a great idea!!
We have the kids full time.
We have the kids full time. Bio mom INSISTS on calling US on OUR vacation to talk to the kids.
We are on vacation and can't even get away from her for a 3 day weekend! She has gone weeks without seeing or talking to the kids but EVERY time we go on vacation she has to call everyday and talk 20 to each 3 kids...
I can count on less than one
I can count on less than one hand the number of times the entire Sperm Clan ever called to speak to my son in the 16+ years of our CO. I can count on a single finger the number of times the Sperm Idiot called to speak to him in the 16+ years of our CO and that was the only time anyone in the Sperm Clan ever called just to speak to the kid.
When Sperm Grandhag would call to arrange for visitation travel she might or might not ask to speak to the kid but never once did she call just to speak to the Skid.
Once we got him a mobile phone, when SS was on Sperm Land visitation we would call him once a week. Sometimes he would answer, sometimes he wouldn't. As he got older he answered more often.
This is just one of the plethora of transgressions that the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool perpetrated to piss off my son. Fortunately the kid is sharp and has been able to develop his own perspective on the sperm Clan over the years and can now protect himself from their bullshit and insulate himself somewhat fro their seemingly constant state of idiocy. They still hurt him upon occasion and his mo and I always have his back but that is now only a support function rather than an active confront and destroy role.
These toxic idiot parents who play the emotions of these kids have no clue how destructive they are and if they did have a clue they are of so little character that they don't care.
We adopted a confirm and support tactic when the Skid would get upset about Sperm Clan idiocy. "Yes son, your "dad" does not call you. We are sorry that he doesn't and we know that hurts your feelings. If you like we can give him a call so you can talk to him. Would you like that?" "No, I don't want to talk to him. I am too mad right now." Then he would get back to what he was doing. He would be very quiet for a few days but eventually no contact became status quo and the entire SPerm Clan began to fade in importance to him. He did go through a phase where he would justify their non-contact. "I am sure they are busy. I will see them when I go visit next time." That is one of the things that his mom and I used to tell him when he would get upset about them not contacting him. He adapted it for his own use.
And sometimes, it's equally
And sometimes, it's equally annoying for the skids to have to stop what they are doing to "talk"
BM would insist on calling DH's phone 2 or 3 times a day when we were on vacation, and good ole' DH, not wanting to rock the boat would answer it, the make the skids stop what they were doing to talk to her.
One day we were at a water park and DH's phone was locked in the car (for obvious reasons). Even though DH TOLD her we were going to be in the water all day and he wouldn't have his phone, she took that opportunity to call at least 15 times, leaving VM's, with the last one threatening police action because she was just *sure* we were kidnapping the SK's.
But, if we were home and the SK's wanted to talk to her, 99% of the time she wouldn't answer her phone. Or better yet, wouldn't answer the call initially, then call drunk off her ass at 3am insisting that her "babies needed to talk to her."
It's a control thing. And a "lookey me! MOTY!" act. I agree that if it was a promise she couldn't keep, she shouldn't have made it.
Shoot, when DH and I go on vacation for a week, I don't even call my OWN kids every day.
That's exactly it! I don't
That's exactly it! I don't have kids of my own yet, but I would make that promise. You're on vacay with your husband, it's not a crime to enjoy it, it doesn't make you a bad parent to have down time without your kids....but don't pull this BS!!! Ugh, this morning was a struggle with SS. He basically blamed me for her being gone so long. Typically I don't argue with him, but this morning I just wasn't having it. I told him it was absolutely NOT my fault she chose to go on a three week vacation. I have no control over what she does and it's not fair to take his frustrations out on me. At the end of it, we hugged it out and we both apologized and went to school/work with smiles on our faces...but it still just pisses me off.
Aside from this drama though, it has been SOOO nice to have SS all to ourselves! No "day of adjustment" from one house to the other and all that fun stuff.
BM often says she'll call SS
BM often says she'll call SS when he's here but sometimes she forgets. or says she left her phone somewhere.
Then she'll contact DH out of the blue to discuss a non-urgent issue, and will leave voice mails and texts saying it's urgent and it turns out to be nothing.