I don't want ss13 here on Mother's Day
This coming weekend is a skid weekend. BM texted dh if he was going to swap weekends like they talked about a few months ago. Dh said no, and reminded her that they never discussed anything, that she demanded they change weekends or else she would get her "free" lawyer involved. I'm so mad at Bm, because if she just would of asked dh nicely he would of said yes. I don't want ss13 here anymore then I have too. I can't come out and say I don't want him here, my dh gets hurt and upset. I tried to explain to him that Mother's Day will now be spent driving ss13 home, which is a 5 hour trip. I also work in the morning, so no time for me and BS.
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I'm surprised Mother's and
I'm surprised Mother's and Father's Day are addressed in the CO. Ex's order stated that the kids had to be with mom or dad by 9am regardless of whose weekend it was.
Speak up. Why should you day be ruined just because your husband wants to stick it to BM? Her not asking him nicely isn't an excuse for him to be ass. Besides, his choice not only hurts BM, but you as well.
In my country CO addresses
In my country CO addresses both Mother and father days and birthdays. Mother's day and BM bday are always skid days, as well as Father's day and father's bday. On skids' bdays, they are supposed to have lunch with one of the parents and dinner with the other.
Was Mother's Day not one of
Was Mother's Day not one of the 'holidays' set out in the CO schedule agreement? I'd think Bm would want SS on that day just as DH would want SS on Father's Day.
Can't Dh take SS back to his mom on Saturday evening? If not, while not ideal, maybe you and your BS can find some special time to be together after you get off Sunday. Mother's Day is about mom and kiddo/s , DH being on the road taking SS back is a bummer, but at least you can stay home with BS?
I've spoken up a lot this
I've spoken up a lot this year to dh about how I feel about ss. If I say much more I feel if the marriage might get a little rocky.
Just let him do the drive.
Just let him do the drive.
you and your child go and enjoy mothers day together.
First of all, I absolutely
First of all, I absolutely cannot tolerate the BM!!! But my DH works with the Evil Ex for all of our sakes. Me, my husband, my child and his two children, and the other parents all work together despite our differences. It's Mother's day, whether or not she may/may not be a great mom it's still her day to see her children c.o. or not. That's a gimmie, besides I would mention to your DH that the CO is only there for a guideline just incase both parties don't agree, it's something to fall back on when one side gets a stick up their ass.
Just tell him you want to be with your child on mother's day and let her child be with her for your SS13's sake, (not knowing the situation), wouldn't ss want to spend time with his own mother?.....just putting ideas in your DH head.
I don't think he is being a
I don't think he is being a prick. Bm is notorious for not following through on "swaps". She had the cops at our house last time when plans were changed from the CO, stating that we have kidnapped SS. So for his same he follows the CO 100%. She never requested Mother's Day in the CO. She only wanted her birthday and 4th of July.
Before I was fine with whatever DH wanted to do, because I knew that if he was nice it would get him no where with Bm. But now that I have BS1, I don't much care for this petty drama anymore. And with ss13 behavior issues going on, I do t much care if he is here anymore.
I'm in a rough spot. I've spoken up as much as I could this year. Dh already knows I don't care for ss13 and if I push it anymore then there will be issues in our marriage. BM is an absolute b!tch and I won't risk getting into an argument with dh for her benefit.
Disagreeing with you here
Disagreeing with you here Echo - what if Mom intentionally keeps Dad away from his kid on Father's Day? Damned pathetic - but this is our situation. I hate the "tit for tat" games too.. drives me bonkers... but you learn to accept it 'cos when you're dealing with a manipulative controlling bitch - the headache and emotionally crap is too damned draining.
Tit for tat is very
Tit for tat is very exhausting. We did this for 8 years. It's still going on (50%), but I'm trying to take myself out of the equation and just let dh do his thing.
If you're afraid to speak
If you're afraid to speak your mind, then you already have HUGE issues in your marriage. So you have to sit around with you lips sealed until January 1st?
The petty drama was fine when BM was the only one hurt by it. Now that his silliness is impacting you, you want it to stop. Wrong is wrong no matter who it hurts.
It's possible BM didn't request Mother's Day during the divorce because she thought is was a no brainer.
Regardless of what BM has done in the past, or how nasty she may have spoken him, your husband is an ass for not allowing the kid to be with her on Mother's Day. He's using the kid as a pawn.
Having a similar situation
Having a similar situation here. Mother's Day here falls on SO's weekend with SS13. SS13 returns to BM late afternoon Sunday. I know that SS13 will ask his Dad if he can go early to spend the day with his Mom. SO has already decided he's going to say no. This is because for the last 3 years, BM has kept SS at her home on Father's Day. As a matter of fact, SS doesn't evem ask to spend Father's day with his Dad if it falls on his weekend with his Mom.
SO is sick and tired of getting hurt and manipulated by BM. She does this all the time to him. SO and BM's Mom share a birthday. If his birthday falls on skids weekends, BM doesn't allow SS to visit. SS will call to wish him happy birthday and that's it - same thing with Father's Day.
So, it's pointless lashing out at Dad if he chooses to keep his kid with him on Mother's Day - particularly if she's been an absolute bitch to him and uses these special days to hurt him him intentionally. He's opted out and no longer "compromises" with her.
And no... there is no court order in place 'cos BM refuses to agree to anything.
Our CO says nothing about
Our CO says nothing about Mother's Day or Father's Day. I use to want to "win" when it came to the weekend swap, but now having a child of my own I only care about that.
Our BM is a huge b!tch as well. We had to get a lawyer involved just to have ss on our wedding day. She plays mind games whenever she can and likes to interpret the CO as much as she can. This is why my dh doesn't swap weekends anymore.
However, I don't much care about winning anymore. I just care about quality time with my BS1. I know that I'll "win" at life compared to her, so there's no need for this petty drama anymore.
Update: I just sat DH down
Update: I just sat DH down and tried to explain to him how I feel about missing out on Mother's Day with BS1. He understood and will contact Bm in the morning to swap. I guess I need to change my approach to these type of things. Instead of saying I don't want ss here, I need to explain my feelings on missing out on stuff with BS1.
Is she wanting DH to get
Is she wanting DH to get kiddo as regular schedule (Friday evening) and then return her early Sunday morning for Mother's Day? Or is she not wanting SD at all this weekend? I would think the CO awarding her Mother's Day would mean just Sunday's schedule is altered and the rest stands as regular schedule.
IDK, but what a witch she is to threaten to fill a little kids head with lies and crap.
Our divorce agreement
Our divorce agreement addresses holidays and such but exH and I agree kids should wake up with kids on Mother's/Father's Day whenever possible. I would let BM have SS for Mother's Day, idk it just seems like the right thing to do. And you're allowed to want to spend the day how YOU want to spend it. Dh can be hurt but should understand your feelings.
My SD14 won't be here but if it fell on her weekend I'd have no trouble telling SO no way. Too bad if he's mad, he should require SD to act like a human being.
Mothers Day falls on our
Mothers Day falls on our weekend. It is BM day per court order. So we return him the night before. Have half a weekend and I prefer it that way.
Try putting it a different way to your husband. "darling, I really think it would be very sweet of you to let SS spend mothers day with BM. I think that would be the right thing to do"
Wow just wow. Our BM tried to
Wow just wow. Our BM tried to force us to take skids on Mother's Day last year, which was our first year of marriage. First off, this makes me so mad! A mother should spend Mother's Day with her children! Secondly, I feel that skids that spend Mother's Day with their sm are probably uncomfortable. I think that this is an uncomfortable thing for sm and skids alike and should be avoided. DH had originally agreed to take the kids on Mother's Day last year and I freaked out. His response? Don't you want the kids to give you presents and hugs on Mother's Day? Um NO! They are not my kids and that would be uncomfortable!