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SD got police called on me.

porcelian-doll's picture

I haven't posted in a while since SD ran away with a boy. She did end up going to BM's house after being missing for almost two days. I have been trying so hard to disengage because I just can no longer take any of it mentally or emotionally. She was back home with BM for a while but BM couldn't handle her so DH stepped up. Things in my life where finally normal for once ina long time and I could really enjoy my marriage and DD without constant stress. But I reluctantly told DH I was ok with her coming back as long as she has got her act together until she turns 18. Stupid stupid stupid! I should have put my foot down and said not in my house. I think it's ridiculous that her parents keep pawning her off back and forth anyways. Fast forward to yesterday.

I have the police at my door telling me that SD ('at school at the time) reported violence in the home. Constant fighting between me and DH . She said I threw her up against a wall and cursed her out. She is afraid to come home and BM doesn't want her . I'm tired of having to defend myself. DH and I rarely argue if we do its not when the kids are around and there is no yelling and screaming so I don't know where she got that from and I have never laid a hand on her or cursed at her come on now. I'm dead serious. I barely even talk to her and try so hard to keep my distance.

SD later when questioned said that she was just joking around with a friend and her friend took it too seriously and told the counselor. She didn't want to look like a liar so she went with it.

She acted like it was no big deal. My whole life could have been ruined. I could still be under investigation for all I know.

I really can't do this anymore. I love DH and I don't want to leave him. But I've been contemplating. I can't live in the same house with her anymore. I'm at my absolute breaking point. I don't even know what to do . I can't explain what's going on in my head right now but I've seriously reached my breaking point. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't just suffer trough another year and couple of months until she turns 18. I really don't know what to do anymore.

Comments

QueenBeau's picture

Can you just tell your DH this is your breaking point & she has to leave? Or live separate until she's 18?

I'm so sorry -hugs-

porcelian-doll's picture

DH is torn. He doesn't want to give up on his daughter but he can't handle her. I've been thinking of just living separately. I know it will hurt but a lot less than I'm hurting now. I'm suffering I'm not living. I have talked to him . He told me to please think things through before making any emotionally charged decisions. DH is drained and I'm over it I can't do this anymore the more I sit her thinking the more I come to the conclusion I just can't anymore. Not our marriage but SD.

fakemommy's picture

You're right about her being tossed back and forth. That's gotta suck. Have you considered temporarily moving out until SD is gone? Not a divorce, but just living separately while married. Also, make sure you are NEVER alone with SD.

Jsmom's picture

You need to move out and take your BD with you. Sorry, but the police being called would be a tipping point for me. Not worth my reputation to live with someone so toxic.

Unfreakingreal's picture

I think this is where you have to say "Her or me" and be ready to walk out when he chooses her. I would file charges against her for false statements to the police.

AllySkoo's picture

Yes, this would be the breaking point for me too. If SD hadn't backed off her story, you realize they could have taken your daughter out of the house as well as SD? That, right there, would be it for me. SD is endangering your child's welfare with her lying - that would mean I would be DONE.

Live separately. See what your DH wants to do. But YOU, and your DD, cannot live with SD any longer.

Bojammies's picture

Obviously she has no repercussions for her actions. Maybe this will adjust her attitude somewhat. Has to start somewhere! She's crying out for attention, well this will get her a lot.

HungryEyes's picture

Been thinking about you! I hoped you were staying away because you were enjoying DD and life had improved and I'm sorry that wasn't the case. I think living separately is a good idea in this scenario. I would be making an exit plan.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

Realize that you could have been arrested. Handcuffed. Put in the back of a patrol car. Taken away from your young child and and fingerprinted and photographed and made to sit in a jailed cell with prostitutes and meth heads. Oh yes that very well could have happened to you yesterday and very well could be your future. This girl needs to go into foster care. If it were me, I'd rent a mother in law suite or a one bedroom apartment. Very cheap rent and leave. You need to send your DH a clear message. Across this line, you do not cross. SD crossed that line. Your very freedom is at stake. Your reputation. Your good name. If you are important to him then he will see that you mean business very soon if you move out . It will also send a very very strong message to SD. This aggression will not stand man. This is not okay. In no world not even My Little POny Equestria Land is this behavior acceptable or will be tolerated. You do not make up such blatant lies.

porcelian-doll's picture

Thanks for everyone's input. I talked to DH yesterday but he doesn't seem to see the severity of the situation from my point of view. He is livid with SD but doesn't want to give up on her. I give up Im sorry. I'm not losing DD behind her. I'm packing now because I already know DH is just gonna break beg me to stay and not change anything. I can't suffer anymore. DD and I will probably stay with a friend until I can sublease a place or something.

DarkStar's picture

Hallo Porcelian!!! How is that beautiful baby of yours?

I agree with all of the above^^^
A phony CPS/police call would be a deal-breaker for me. No second chances, no get out of jail free card, that is IT.
Your precious baby could have been taken away because of the cruel, careless words of a spoiled SD. Nope, no way. You know that SD has NO REMORSE for what she did and if nothing is done, then more of the same will continue and NEXT time will be even worse.

Protect yourself, protect your little one. Hopefully your DH will pull his head out and agree to see SD out of the house. There is no reason why he can't and shouldn't do that.

((HUGS))

ChokinOnLemonz's picture

Porcelain, my oldest SD did the same thing! Ran away with a guy. Then went to a friend's. Pretended she couldn't come home because SM abused her! The friend tells her parents that called CPS.CPS asks her, she has to go with story she sold her friends.

CPS comes. I show them text this drug dealer sent me telling DH and I to piss off. Then her journals about everything she was up to and what she was REALLY doing to SM. Those journals and texts saved my ass.

Shortly after that she attacked DH. Then me. That's when she had to go.