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I really dislike teenagers and this one trying to ruin my marriage

Mega Mom34's picture

I have been married to my husband for 12 years and I have been taking care of my SD since day one but, it has gotten to the point now where I just want to give up and as Usher said " Sign them papers". My SD is very, VERY sneaky, she loves to play one person against the other and the only time I'm her mom is when I am paying for something for her. I try so hard to get my husband to see how sneaky this child is and what she like to do to get her way by manipulating him to get mad at me and say I'm being to hard on her. Every time we argue its always about her and when she knows that we have been going at it she has this stupid little smirk on her face and then she wants to act like daddies little girl.

SM's am wrong for making this "young lady" learn the proper way to wash dishes, cook and clean? Am I wrong for teaching her about the world and how cruel people can be for no reason at all. Am I wrong for telling her how to take care of her "womanhood" so that she can represent herself respectably? I try to remember when I was in her shoes as a teenager with a step parent but, I was never as disrespectful, ungrateful, and sneaky as she is. I have gone as far as not buying something for my own children just so she could have what she wanted.

To put the icing on the cake, I stayed awake for more than 72 hours strait watching over her in the hospital when she was hospitalized for kidney stones, almost causing me to lose a very good job. Lately she has had her face buried in her phone texting an aunt that she was told not to have any contact with and her BM when she has been told not to. It blows my mind how one child can disrespect the woman that has taken care of them but, love and respect a woman that chose a man over her own child.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Sounds like my SD13 who can't do shit on her own. She thinks that whatever she asks for, she'll get. I used to keep DH in check on that but not anymore. SD13 asked DH why I hated her last week. I called her out on springing into action to do her laundry right when she heard me pull up.

Which reminds me, today is laundry day for her. So we'll see. I also told her that yesterday morning it would be in the 30s when she went to wait for the bus. I came home yesterday and she had shorts on. Today was even colder. I've tried to teach her manners and hygiene but I think I'll leave that to her peers. Esp the hygiene thing.

~ Moon

FrackturedBradyBunch's picture

OMG!

you just wrote my life X 3.

I don't do anything extra for Fulltime SDs 13, 14, 15.

I've been around for 10 years, I'm now ignored....good night Dad! etc...

Like someone else mentioned, if nothing else I've earned a bit of fucking respect, just like a teacher or a nanny....and so have you!

Notacelebration's picture

I have the same SD! It NEVER changes.
Hopefully you just start to care less.
I'm at the point where my motto is: The more I don't give a damn, the happier I am.

AdviceSeekingSM's picture

This is a tough situation; one I myself am going through. Eventually I just took stock of all that I've done and in what ways I've tried. Buying all of the extras (or even groceries) and completely disengaged. I pulled all the smelly bath lotions, etc anything I could think of that was not a necessecity. When the girls came asking for it "I'm sorry,I didn't realize you were using it as I never received a thank-you". No more grocery shopping, no more party organizing, when their dads running late I don't pick them up. I keep out of situations where they have opportunities to lie and contrive against me.
Girls noticed. DH noticed. I told him until he encouraged them to be more respectful and appreciative. I'm tired of being the one who tries but experienced all the fall out.
Good Luck!!