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not cut out for it

SMLIFESUCKS's picture

I have to say after being in step hell for 4 years and being dh's wife for 2, I am not cut out to be anyone's stepmom. I mean not even in the most general of sensea either. I am a bitchy, angry and resentful person when SDs are here or I know they are coming. The stuff that I am told shouldnt botherme does.

I shouldnt care if the in laws are hanging out with bm and skids at 9sd's softball game but wont drive 20 minutes doen the road to see OUR daughter right? The ils drove an hour and half to go to this game today. Stayed 1/2 the day, paid for softball pictures, shirts etc; fil didnt even come with mil to drop them off here, he was just too tired. Mil stayed for like 20 minutes, dh told mil he was inviting them to stay for dinner as a thank you for bringing them here, dh worked and I refuse to babysit.

Dh was home before they were due here. It shouldnt bother me they will watch the sds but not our daughter right? they have watched our daughter like 5 times since birth and she was at least 9 months before the first time.

It shouldnt bother me that they are taking sds to get food or ice cream or etc but not.our daughter.

It shouldnt bother me that dh allows his kids to do whatever they want, dress how they want, talk how they want in our house that I fully pay the mortgage for right? That he will buy sds clothes they never wear at the drop of a hat but has bought our daughter 5 outfits total, 2 things of diapers and 3 things offormula or food right?

it shouldnt bother me that dh is all goo goo over them but until recently barely had a thing to do with our baby right?

im not cut out for this, all of this and more eats away at my soul. Im miserable even when sds arent here now. Everytime dh opens his mouth i want to say stfu and go away because you are a hibitual liar. I am NOT happy and it isnt going to change. I and our daughter will always be last and have to sacrifice for those poor little entitled cod sds.

Dh is off to the store right now, just left said i gotta go to the store, left their asses here and took MY SON. I am not watching them, if they do something to get hurt so what, they put a hoke in the wall jumping on the bed so what. I already made my kids turn off the tv. No skids hanging in my living room because if i get up to go in our room its "where you going baby?"

Im so over this shit life.

Comments

No saint's picture

Leaving seems the right thing to do, even if not permanently. It seems like you are hanging in therev by a thread and thats' not good for you or your daughter. Why not stay with a friend/ relative until you know for sure what you want to do?

SMLIFESUCKS's picture

i wish i had that optiin but i have noone. No where i could even go for a weekend to just get away. I think my last straw today was him and that damn lawn mower. He has to cut tye grass everytime they are here, yep not fooling me to get away from them. He threw a rock and busted out the rear passebger door window. Now i just had the insurance replace the other cars windshiekd. I cant afford what I pay now, 2 glass replacements in a monh and my rates are going through the roof.

SMLIFESUCKS's picture

It sucks because DH wanted us to move out to the country near them and it was all this talk about "mom will be over so much".

I'm not looking for a babysitter, I just wanted my child to have involved grandparents. My exH's dad is dead and his mother is the pits, so my older children never had it either. I guess my disappointment is what bothers me most.

My baby doesn't deserve to be pushed aside. I understand she's young but she'll catch on. She already doesn't even care to go to them or see them.

I guess StepHell doesn't afford the SMs kids any favors, that's for sure.

I won't even go into my weekend from hell. It wasn't as bad as the last but damn, I'm thinking margaritas are the way to go. LOL