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10 year relationship, not married

r728c922's picture

Submitted by r728c922 on Fri, 04/17/2015 - 1:22pm

I have been in a relationship with a male for 10 years. During that time, I moved in, moved out, moved in, then moved out again. On my own now for 2 years. He continues to pursue me and wanting me to move back in again. Problem is: his adult children (2) are almost the exact age of my 2 adult children. His youngest has never accepted me from day 1. She is narcissitic, manipulative, demanding, entitled and spoiled beyond belief. Dad will drop whatever to return her call, do whatever she requires, give LOTS of money, etc. Her direct rudeness and disrespect to me (in front of him) has become intolerable. However, he says it's up to me to be the HERO and try to be accommodating. I don't believe that for one 1 minute, so I'm in my own place. Always hopeful, one day I think maybe things will change and she will all of a sudden accept me. Not sure that's going to happen. Moving back again???? Hmm, how stupid am I? I don't believe he has ever talked to her about respecting me. She doesn't have to like me, just be respectful.

Comments

justthegirlfriend13's picture

Submitted by justthegirlfriend13 on Fri, 04/17/2015 - 1:28pm

Welcome! Nice to see another here in a situation such as myself, which is not a "normal, expected" family setup. While not as long as you, I have also been with my SO for 5 years and we do not live together. I have never tried to move in, because I didnt want to give up my home and then have to move out and find somewhere else to go if it didnt work out. I'm totally fine with living by myself, quite enjoy it actually and plan to stay this way.

So, good for you for sticking to your guns! I agree that kids don't have to like you, but they should show respect and abide by house rules that adults put into place and if their father is refusing to make them do it, then you're in a much better place now on your own. My SO's kids don't like me either and my response is "Oh well, can't please em all!". And I let it roll off my back.

Enjoy your alone time where you don't have to deal with the crap any longer and enjoy your time here. I'm not as active as others but I do regularly check in and read whats going on and post my own issues from time to time as needed.

justthegirlfriend13's picture

Submitted by justthegirlfriend13 on Fri, 04/17/2015 - 1:35pm

Exactly! That's just man speak for "I know my kids are brats and I'm not going to do anything about it but you just need to put up with it". Little do these men know that we don't have to put up with it and we aren't! Biggrin

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Fri, 04/17/2015 - 1:46pm

If after 10 years he still refuses to stand by your side, then I think you can definitely find a better man.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Fri, 04/17/2015 - 2:12pm

THIS

You have wasted 10 years with this guy. He has shown you year in and year out what type of man he is. Stop wasting your time. Move on and find a man who will respect you.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 04/17/2015 - 2:00pm

He's not going to change, his daughter is not going to change.

Why should you accommodate a grown ass, disrespectful, intolerable bitch? That he helped create, I might add, and continues to enable.