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DH has light bulb moment...and it only took 16 years.

godess-clueless's picture

DH has been in charge of paying all bills since we reconciled 8 years ago. When we married almost 16 years ago, he was retired, a financial disaster, Mr. Generosity to his leaching group of friends, and disney dad to his adult girls. I was the penney pincher all my life.

I eventually gave up trying to " fix" our life , just to have him take us 2 steps backwards for every 3 steps we had gained. Quit my job, refused to contribute any more of my finances toward the household and told him to " figure it out " on his own monthly retirement.

Fast forward to present time. He now has great grandchildren. Grown grandchildren , and all the children of the baby mama's and baby daddies of their significant others previous relationships that he generously hands out gift certificate to for Christmas. Never do any of these people that he sees once a year reciprocate. Some of these people he has not seen for years.

Dh just informed me he told the adult grandchildren not to expect him to give them money next year. He has decided that he is the one on a limited income, and their reproduction rate just keeps on. He will give gift certificates to the ones who are children, but not adults.

Only took about 8 years for him to have this light bulb moment.

Limited income = Bills get paid first= wanting a few luxuries in his own life = does he get those few luxuries or give out the money to adults he never sees or hears from.

Those light bulb moments....priceless

godess-clueless's picture

Skeeter and ybarra 357 , I am happy to know we are not alone in having to deal with this problem. Dh has come a long way in becoming responsible with finances. When he was made responsible for budgeting and paying the bills each month, he did surprisingly well. Breaking free of the disney dad chains was not easy for him.

SugarSpice's picture

better late than never, but too bad it happened after the realization that we was such a sucker. lessons like these tend to stick.

with dh every one has a hand out for something from the skids to his parents.

misSTEP's picture

I really think that it would do my DH good to be in charge of all the bills. At least for a little while. My problem is with control. He has ADHD and does not care too much about something being late. I make damn sure that everything is paid on time. I am scared that he would really muck things up if I had him do it.

But on the other hand, he would actually KNOW the cost of things and not assume that it is about the same as when he last had to fend for himself over 15 years ago!

Freshstart's picture

Wish my DH now ex DH had a couple of light bulb moments.

Well done for you being os patient. Would it have take 16 years?