" In New York City, it is the single mothers who have it rough!" - OMG, he is talking about BMs!!!

Director of an elite private school, an old, distiguished-looking guy with a patrician nose, did not mind sharing his opinions with us. I was with a group of professionals touring an expensive private school on the Upper East Side. The visit was predictably boring and took us to see the facilities, admire the library, enjoy a few classes for a few minuites. Then came Q and A time in the conference room. Soon the Director launched into a well rehearsed soliloquy. He had a lot to say, much of it quite sensible. The school is trying to help out the parents who cannot afford it. Tuition is higher than that of many universities.

I was losing focus. And then it came, the pronoucement that struck me as a stink bomb:

"One group that has it really hard in the city are single mothers. I don't know what those fathers are thinking - they refuse to pay! They just up and leave - and then there they are buying jewelry for 23-year-olds, a rock on her finger and the guy is enjoying his new girlfriend while the single mother is left to pick up the slack. Horrible, this is just horrible..."

He droned on. I was stuck on what i heard though: the demographic we are talking about are well-heeled denizens of very desirable zip codes. Single mothers? Really? They are greedy BMs, divorced first wives, who want and get CS, alimony - and i guess 40K in tuition on top of that. Isn't it a crying shame that some fathers are refusing to pay? Why else would the school people be so upset? Instead of tens of thousands of dollars going to them they are going to Tiffany's, obviously. I could just hear single moms aka BMs spew vitriol about "deadbeat" dads who are not able to cover every fee and every bill for Junior.

The guy at the head of the table seemed to be too well versed in the ways of the world to just buy that crap. But he obviously did. So did everyone else who sat around the table nodding and taking notes.

ST, you are my touchstone! I am glad i have this forum to keep me grounded.

Pilgrim Soul's blog
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All i can say i am happy to

All i can say i am happy to see that there is a groundswell against lifetime alimony - legalized means of financial abuse of -- mostly -- men by women. I live in a state where permanent alimony seems to have become a thing of the past only a few months ago.

GoAwayPlease can tell you more about this subject than i can, but in my opinion, it is an abomination. DH had no money left to live on when he was paying alimony on top of CS on top of all the extras. It was ridiculous. BM felt she was entitled to all of that, plus her own successful business. Give me a break...

Interesting about the private

Interesting about the private school and aspects of the law. What an insane woman your BM is though... as a divorced mother of two teens, I just don't get it: her son is failing ( so was mine last year) - get everyone on board! Get the father to intervene, the school, the town mayor, the local priest and the boy scout leader. Jeeze...

All through my son's freshman year i was trying to do the opposite of your BM - get my ex to take an interest, have the school send him progress reports so that he could not claim innocence and my son could not spend the weekend watching movies. Nothing worked... his wife sees any interest he takes in my sons' well being outside of EOW as me trying to control him - when it is her prerogative to control everything. What a bunch of lunatics we all are dealing with..

That is one brain washed guy!

Yes, men in general are

Yes, men in general are dreadful and could never possibly care about their own children and they certainly do not deserve their own life after making a big mistake when young. Really, they ought to just go extinct. The only humans truly worthy of the world's resources are those women who've had babies, extra points if she manages to drive off the father. Those women are completely holy.

Maybe he makes this little speech because he knows "those" women are the ones who make it their life's work to spend as much of the ex husband's money as possible and he dangles that out there to let them know that he is here to help them spend it at his school.

.... extra points if she

.... extra points if she manages to drive off the father. Those women are completely holy.

Totally! I have a modest proposal: we should designate them as such. Her Holiness, BM.

Describes our BM to a T... the poor woman tried again and again to drive off DH who had this weird idea that once you get married you stay married. Took her 20 years, she had to do all the heavy lifting herself and finally demand a divorce. What a jerk her husband was! Couldn't he treat her like a lady?? Now she will make sure he pays for it!

But I digress. Your satire is appreciated. What a sad and sordid scenario...

BM drunk dialed DH once. Told

BM drunk dialed DH once. Told him he was supposed to go away. After she got custody back she moved SS across the country to her home state her mom and friends told her that if she made it as hard as possible for him to see SS, DH would eventually go away and just send a check every month.

DH had SS two weeks every month. So roughly 50-50. When SS was to start school and that wouldn't be a possibility anymore he quit his job, dumped his girlfriend and moved here. BM was pissed. She tells DH that him being here makes her life hard. I guess it's hard to lie about when you have your kid when he's being tagged in Dad and SM's FB check ins when we do stuff....

"She tells DH that him being

"She tells DH that him being here makes her life hard" --- this is rich! What a loon....

I'm on the fence on this one.

I'm on the fence on this one. I worked with a lot of wealthy guys who actively hid their assets during divorce. They pled poverty to the courts when the truth is the made serious money. I don't think the ex should get everything but they should get help with the kids if possible. The guys I'm thinking about should have helped but they were just to selfish to share.

I am sure that happens. The

I am sure that happens. The opposite happens too. BM here is a case in point. But what gets my blood boiling is the Victim Banner so many women immediately reach for and begin to wave about feverishly. First wives' club: regular meetings, burn your ex in effigy or at least make a voodoo doll.

Full disclosure: I have an ex-husband too who i believe is obfuscating his income and is doing the bare minimum for our two sons. It makes my job harder. But in absolutely no case am I a victim. I made my choices.

In an affluent area public

In an affluent area public schools tend to be excellent. In NYC there are more bad public schools than good. So a private school tends to become a hot item in the divorce agreement.

Also, CODs are treated as an under-privileged class and given extra protections, thus college tuition can be shoved down parents' throats. NYU is now 71K for ONE undergraduate YEAR.
Feed your piggy banks...

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